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Old 01-22-2013, 06:34 PM   #1
Jareds_mommy
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how much freedom do you give your tween?

so how much freedom do you give your pre-teen and how old are they? I am trying to decide how much to give ours
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:50 PM   #2
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so how much freedom do you give your pre-teen and how old are they? I am trying to decide how much to give ours
As you are the one who knows your tween best, it would need to be your call. I will point out that just because it's Disney, doesn't necessarily make it any "safer". You are on a small floating city with lots of different kinds of people onboard.

I know the number 1 rule should be: you are not to go into ANYONE ELSE's room, and NO ONE else can come into our room.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:24 PM   #3
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I agree with PrincessShmoo, you know your tween best. My tween and I will be taking our first Disney cruise shortly and have been discussing all aspects of each others comfort levels as far as freedom and boundaries within the context of what we each are looking most forward to experiencing on this amazing vacation. This "brainstorming" is helping to narrow down what will the "freedom rules" with my tween. All the best in navigating a happy medium!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:32 PM   #4
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It depends on how many cruises you have been on and how familiar with the ship your child is, along with how responsible they are at home. DS started having signout privs at age 8 with strict rules. He usually hung out with a friend from the boards those 2 weeks. DD was 10 before she had "freedom" -- as long as she stayed with her brother. Later that year when she was a month from turning 11, she had freedom along with her three friends from previous cruises. The girls were good about pairing up if someone needed to go back to their room. They also stayed in contact with the wave phones if they were going or doing anything that deviated from the last plan. That was #8 for our kids so very familiar with the layout and finding their way from point A to point B.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:39 PM   #5
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I gave my DS 10 signout privileges BUT he had to contact me prior to leaving via wave phone to tell me where he was going. He was really only away from me a few times when I went to Palo for brunch and then for dinner.
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:51 PM   #6
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Last April we gave our 13 yr old son a lot of freedom. THe second day he met a friend and the two of them were constantly together. We had a white board in our room for communication. He knew what restaurant to go to each night and only one night he was a little late. No big deal. He had the time of his life on that cruise and we are planning on giving him the same freedom this April when we go again.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:02 PM   #7
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You know your child. Will they follow your rules?

I allowed sign out at age 9 after an incident in the Lab which would have been prevented if the CM had listened to DD! However, the rule was she could sign out and go to the cabin. ONLY to the cabin. And that was at least her third cruise on the Magic. I also have no concerns about my daughter's ability to behave and follow my instructions when on her own; I'm actually more concerned if she is with friends. I have a theory that 1 teen brain + 1 teen brain = no brains at all!

We have seen episodes of tweens terrorizing stateroom hosts, stealing from their carts, etc. while the poor host was walking that fine line as to what he could say to a guest. We took care of that incident. We've seen tweens knocking on stateroom doors and dashing--nuissance value, but not horrible. Would this be your kid?

Totally echo NO ONE IN YOUR ROOM and YOU DON'T go in any other cabin. Violation = you'll never cruise on my nickel again. Can you trust your kid?

There is no right or wrong answer. Each kid is different. But don't have stars in your eyes. Bad things happen to good kids, and sometimes they happen on DCL.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:37 PM   #8
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:59 PM   #9
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Depends on if they are 11 or 13. My 11 year old is allowed to go to the club, and if he wants to leave it to get a pizza or a pop, he needs to go with a friend. If he wants to leave the Edge, he can come to his room. If he is going somewhere else, he needs to ask permission.

My 13 year olds had a lot more freedom, but bottom line is, I want to know where they are. I won't say no, but I just need to know.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:29 PM   #10
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Our DS 13 had a lot of freedom. He was "encouraged" to join us for the show, but required to join us for dinner, each evening. We gave him a curfew each night, which varied depending on circumstances. And we had a few set check-in points during the day, along with the 'don't go into any staterooms' rule. He made a group of friends the first day, and hung out with them as much as he could. He had the time of his life. We all had a great time.
DD 8 didn't have, or want, much freedom. She liked to stick with parents for the most part, but did take advantage of some of the kids activities.
DS is now 17, and DD 13. We let him choose a family vacation before his high school graduation in May, and that's why we'll be on the Fantasy in March. DS 17 has already asked "will I have a curfew on this cruise?" (the answer is yes, btw). I'm interested to see how much freedom DS13 will want.

As has been said, you know your child, and the ship isn't completely safe. But, it's a pretty good environment to loosen the reins a bit and let them have a little more freedom and responsibility.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:35 PM   #11
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he is pretty good, but I can totally agree with the the more tweens, the lower the brain used
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:58 AM   #12
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This is the very thing that I am struggling with as well. My son will be just shy of 12 on the next cruise. (this is his 7th cruise with Disney. So, he's well aquanted with the ship) I get a bit nervous about the amount of freedom that he'll have. He's a great kid so I have no worries about mischief that he may get into.
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:49 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessShmoo View Post
As you are the one who knows your tween best, it would need to be your call. I will point out that just because it's Disney, doesn't necessarily make it any "safer". You are on a small floating city with lots of different kinds of people onboard.

I know the number 1 rule should be: you are not to go into ANYONE ELSE's room, and NO ONE else can come into our room.
This pretty much nails it. We went on our first cruise June of last year. My daughter had just turned 10. She was incredibly bored in the lab so on the second day we reluctantly agreed to allow her to roam the ship. We were with friends and family and she had "pre-met" another 10yo girl via email before the cruise.

Our daughter thrived with the freedom. She kept a wave phone on her and always kept us informed if any of her plans changed. She knew not to go into the stateroom of anyone that wasn't in our travel party and not to bring anyone into ours. It was still stressful on the parents though! It was not an easy decision but it was made easier knowing who she was running around with and occasionally we'd see them outside of normal meeting time.

Each child is obviously very different though. Our daughter is rather sheltered but a stickler for rules.
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Old 01-23-2013, 07:32 AM   #14
torian
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My two tweens were given complete freedom.

They knew the rules:
Tell me where you are going (I did the same)
Tell me if/when that changes (I did the same)
Do not talk with strange adults
Do not go into other people's cabins
Don't leave food/drinks unattended

They had their cards with charging privileges. I think they bought under $10 on their own

I was so proud of both of them. This was our first cruise and they behaved incredibly well. Much better than most of the other kids their age and many of the adults on the ship - especially during the last two days of the cruise.
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Old 01-23-2013, 08:05 AM   #15
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For ours, we found that as the week went on, we gave them more freedom as they demonstrated they could handle it and be responsible. We started with letting them go up to Deck 9 for snacks on their own and back, then "meet us at ____ at a specific time" if they wanted to hang in the cabin while we stopped in the shops before dinner, etc. As they demonstrated that they knew there way around the ship and also how to TELL TIME (LOL) and were punctual, we let them have more freedom - but not to just roam the ship - but for coming and going on their own. They also had a curfew which we set each day after reviewing Navigators and depending on what was happening in their youth group, that time would vary.

Same rules as others - no going into someone else's cabin and no one coming into ours (even when gathering items for a scavenger hunt - you can wait outside or your partners can wait outside). No running in the hallways. No running on the stairs. No riding the elevator just for fun - you could ride it if you were going from Deck 2 to Deck 9 (Deck 2 is where their club was).

We always make new DIS friends through our meet groups and I have my kids come to the Meet and Greet either onboard or if we meet up at a hotel pre-cruise - I do that and tell the other DISers that if you see my kid doing something they are not supposed to do, please feel free to snatch them up by the neck

But OP, it really is up to you and what you and your tween feel comfortable with.
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