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Old 01-31-2013, 02:42 PM   #61
Chuckers
Missing my day trips to Disneyland :(
 
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Good for you! I hope this works so you all can have a great vacation.
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:08 PM   #62
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good for you for bringing things up before the trip.

can I ask a simple question, what is the problem with the child and deluxe plan? I don't know if I missed that detail. the reason I'm asking is that we have been doing deluxe since my triplets were 4 yo and love every minute of it. It's our time to talk things over and talk about the good and the bad of the day. I know not all kids are the same but I now it worked and still works with our girls. They get the character meal in the morning and we get the signature meals and in evening. would he be able to sit around for that long without having fits or are your meals planned for too late in the day for him? He might enjoy the different options offered at signature meals and look forward to the yummy desserts.
If you are tring to get away for them for a few minutes, I understand that too. it might be nice to be kidless for a few hours and enjoy time with grown ups.

I hope you do have a really nice trip and hope she understood your points. you deserve a vacation just as much as she does. You are not her babysitter.
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:28 PM   #63
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Good for you! It is great to hear about someone standing up for themselves
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Old 04-25-2013, 05:23 PM   #64
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Op here and I thought I would provide a final update on this post. My friend came over and I helped her book the trip and she was so excited. A little later we were talking about it and she says to our other friend she is only going because my Husband and I will be there to chase after her child so she wont have to. I managed to quell my shock enough to provide a look that very clearly said "What are you crazy?". She got the hint quickly by the look on her face. I was pleased I had finally made my point and we continued to talk over the trip.

I again reminded her about the childcare centers to which she let me know she was planning on putting him there when we ate in Be our Guest and Cinderella Castle plus the Signatures. I felt so bad for him and tried to point out that BOG and CC were in the MK and that the other children would be at those meals, but she said that they weren't really for kids so she would put him in the childcare center. I dropped it and said that there were a lot of us going so everyone would get to ride all the rides etc. She nodded along and we talked more about dining.

The next week she tells me she might not go on the trip. She said that other people were going and it would be different if it were just us. And she told me that it was my vacation too? As if that was in question? I think she must have ranted to someone that we were not going to take care of her kid the whole time and they pointed out she was being unreasonable. And she decided with other people there she couldn't boss or force us in to it. She said a bunch of excuses, that he didn't listen and ran away from now etc... I tried to point out that a lot could change in 6 months and that she wouldn't be alone. But I also didn't do what she was obviously fishing for and tell her we would take care of him. I felt so bad that her son was missing out on a fun trip to Disney World cause his Mom didn't want to deal with him. However I didn't feel bad enough to offer to be her slave for the week.

When it was clear we were not going to offer to take complete care of him she officially canceled. I am honestly relieved. Everyone going feels bad for her son but are happy she isn't going. I am glad I don't have that stress hanging over me about the trip anymore. I know that the other 2 families going (One with 1 child and one with 3 including twins) will not be taking advantage of us in that way. I know we will offer to help but it will be voluntary, and on our terms, It will be because we want to and will not be expected or demanded of us. So anyway that is the conclusion to my issue. When I stood up to her demands she dropped out of the trip.
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Old 04-25-2013, 05:44 PM   #65
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Good for you... it's clear that you would have not enjoyed your vacation. Now, you can sit back and plan a fun time for everyone.

She's seriously got some issues when it comes to child rearing... I can't believe she would put him in child care just so she could eat dinner..
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Old 04-25-2013, 05:45 PM   #66
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Good for you! :-)

I can't believe she thought you and your hubby were going to be taking care o her child. Crazy
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Old 04-25-2013, 06:56 PM   #67
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I just read through this whole thread. I chuckled at some parts. I'm 5 weeks away from my 3rd trip alone with my 2 children. We started going to Disney when they were 7 and 10 months old. They will be 10 and 3 on our next trip. We travel other places too.

Perhaps she looked into that childcare thing and realized it was going to be at least $23 every time she used it ($11.50/hr with a 2hr minimum).
What they can't ride, I just don't ride. I do a sit down restaurant once a week in the month leading up to the trip so they are ready for TS at Disney. My son is a recovering runner so I know about chasing a child at Disney.

Perhaps she never got accustomed to handling her son on her own. Hopefully for her son's sake, they can go another time when her dh can go. She needs to practice handling him without always having to do what she's been doing or she will run out of friends.

She certainly isn't alone in how she feels. It tickles me when I'm out at different places. It never fails I see at least one parent out alone with their children for the day declaring they are never doing this again because it is too hard to handle them alone. I find it interesting because as a widow it's my everyday reality. I tell myself that must mean their spouse is an attentive hands on parent and that's a good thing.

I am planning on family going next summer, but I'm not expecting help with my children though I imagine my family will offer it. I'm going to be on the lookout to try to make sure my sister doesn't offer herself up too much to help with her grandchildren. Maybe I'll get to ride Soarin' on that trip. Maybe I won't.

What I am looking forward to is help with costs. We're getting a big house in Windsor Hills and it will be nice to split an $1800 house rental with 6 other adults instead of shelling out $1,500 for a week on property and food on my own plus buy park tickets and get us to Florida on my own. Plus it's a great way for my adult nieces to be able to take their children to Disney World. We may be on different schedules part of the day, but we'll be at the house in the mornings for breakfast and evenings for dinner my dad grills for us. He was so excited to hear about the grill included with the house. Most of us get together every year for Thanksgiving and spend 3 nights in my sister's 3 bedroom house so I figure we can make it work in a 6 bedroom with a private pool.

OP, I hope you all enjoy your trip. Disney costs too much money to have that added stress, so I'm relieved for you.
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June 2012: Going with the flow with Tropical Storm Debby TR (1st 5 days): http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2953583
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:10 PM   #68
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OP thank you for the update, and kudos for standing up for yourself!
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Old 04-25-2013, 10:10 PM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmy2babies View Post
I just read through this whole thread. I chuckled at some parts. I'm 5 weeks away from my 3rd trip alone with my 2 children. We started going to Disney when they were 7 and 10 months old. They will be 10 and 3 on our next trip. We travel other places too.

Perhaps she looked into that childcare thing and realized it was going to be at least $23 every time she used it ($11.50/hr with a 2hr minimum).
What they can't ride, I just don't ride. I do a sit down restaurant once a week in the month leading up to the trip so they are ready for TS at Disney. My son is a recovering runner so I know about chasing a child at Disney.

Perhaps she never got accustomed to handling her son on her own. Hopefully for her son's sake, they can go another time when her dh can go. She needs to practice handling him without always having to do what she's been doing or she will run out of friends.

She certainly isn't alone in how she feels. It tickles me when I'm out at different places. It never fails I see at least one parent out alone with their children for the day declaring they are never doing this again because it is too hard to handle them alone. I find it interesting because as a widow it's my everyday reality. I tell myself that must mean their spouse is an attentive hands on parent and that's a good thing.

I am planning on family going next summer, but I'm not expecting help with my children though I imagine my family will offer it. I'm going to be on the lookout to try to make sure my sister doesn't offer herself up too much to help with her grandchildren. Maybe I'll get to ride Soarin' on that trip. Maybe I won't.

What I am looking forward to is help with costs. We're getting a big house in Windsor Hills and it will be nice to split an $1800 house rental with 6 other adults instead of shelling out $1,500 for a week on property and food on my own plus buy park tickets and get us to Florida on my own. Plus it's a great way for my adult nieces to be able to take their children to Disney World. We may be on different schedules part of the day, but we'll be at the house in the mornings for breakfast and evenings for dinner my dad grills for us. He was so excited to hear about the grill included with the house. Most of us get together every year for Thanksgiving and spend 3 nights in my sister's 3 bedroom house so I figure we can make it work in a 6 bedroom with a private pool.

OP, I hope you all enjoy your trip. Disney costs too much money to have that added stress, so I'm relieved for you.
"My son is a recovering runner......" That cracked me up. my son is a recovering runner too! Periodically he back slides! ha!
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:39 AM   #70
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"My son is a recovering runner......" That cracked me up. my son is a recovering runner too! Periodically he back slides! ha!
LOL, that is the best way to describe it. My son occasionally backslides too. Even when he doesn’t I can tell he is thinking about it. Sometimes I can hear him telling himself, “No running now…no running.”
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:42 AM   #71
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Dodged a bullet on that one, you did. Yeesh.
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:21 AM   #72
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My best friend is like this woman...bossy and expecting. I put up with it for a long time and chased her toddler, giving in to all my friends "requests." Now, after years of infertility, I am pregnant.

I guess the baby hormones have given me a back bone because I have decided I am done. Not done being her friend, but done catering. Done picking her daughter up from daycare with no "thank you". Done buying her daughter meals, only to have her mother be mad at my meal choices (What? are you allergic to meat? because I got her beans and cheese) and Done chasing her kid around my house. I literally sit on my pregnant butt and make her do everything for her kid when she is at my house because I am JUST DONE with being used.

And guess what? She is still my friend, her toddler still loves me and I don't resent her anymore.


Thank you baby-induced backbone!

I feel sorry for your friends kid, but I'm glad she isn't going. She needs to go with just her husband and be a mom.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:30 PM   #73
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Be firm but kind :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosiekins View Post
Thanks for all the advice. I will just have to bite the bullet and be upfront with her. The next time it comes up I will try to gently but firmly work it in. It is uncomfortable but it is better then a huge blow up on vacation.
I think you made the right decision to stand up to her. If you were uncomfortable now, it'd be worse later and just think of the time and expense when you're down there and supposed to be having a special time and she'd be getting on your nerves.

It's ok to assert yourself because it's in the interest of everyone having a good time and maintaining relationships. Plus it sounded really selfish and immature of her to insist that other people watch her kid all the time.

I'm happy it worked out for you and I feel strongly that you handled it correctly. If she's worth being friends with I hope you can still do that, but it doesn't do anyone any favors to enable bad behavior. You're a friend, not a doormat! Friends and family can help out as much as they want or are able to, but it's not ok to take advantage of people. I feel sorry for her son - sounds like he needs better boundaries.

Last edited by Gamegrl1; 05-07-2013 at 06:38 PM. Reason: Whoops - situation is resolved! Updating post!
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