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Old 01-15-2013, 10:19 PM   #16
Janepod
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We will pay for his tuition anywhere. Hopefully we can pay for grad school as well. We have been putting away a considerable amount of money every year since he was born. Also, we live below our means in many ways -- our mortgage will be paid off less than 4 years from now, when the kid is 11. We're in our early 40s. Barring something truly catastrophic, we'll be in fine shape.

Philosophically, we want our son to be able to pursue any career field he wants after college. E.g., if he wants to go into publishing or the arts, he will have to start out with very low-paying jobs. My husband grew up beyond poor and had to go into finance to have any hope of repaying his college and grad school loans. He wanted to be in a more creative field and does not want our son to have to choose a career that makes him unhappy.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:21 PM   #17
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I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:23 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXinmyheart View Post
I am of the Clark Howard camp that you cannot borrow for your retirement. I personally think it builds character and makes for a better student when they have skin in the game.

I see it all the time with business people with the difference in the way they treat things, shop, vacation when someone else is not picking up the tab.
Well, I am glad I am not the only one. I have a 7 year old now and we are in a better place financially. But if we put college money away, we'd have virtually nothing left for any leisure. So I do find myself feeling guilty and wondering what we should do at times. If we get to a place where we are earning anymore, then we will put money away. Simply to avoid and college loans.

The twins had almost full scholarships off grades but one of them did have to take a small loan. I would have liked to have been in a position to avoid that. But at the same time, they are great kids who work their butts off so I don't have to worry too much with them. Maybe havign to work for it helped with that. I have no idea to be honest. I'm just glad it all worked out.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:24 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmwade77 View Post
I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also thin you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.

Just my two cents on it all.
Can I ask how many years ago you attended, and whether you got need based financial aid (e.g. Pell grants, University scholarships, subsidized student loans, work study)? College costs have gone up a lot since I went to school, and the earning power of someone without experience or a college degree (e.g. a college freshman) has not kept pace. I am not sure that I can assume that what was possible for you to do will be possible for my kid.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:29 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Mickey'snewestfan

Can I ask how many years ago you attended, and whether you got need based financial aid (e.g. Pell grants, University scholarships, subsidized student loans, work study)? College costs have gone up a lot since I went to school, and the earning power of someone without experience or a college degree (e.g. a college freshman) has not kept pace. I am not sure that I can assume that what was possible for you to do will be possible for my kid.
You bring up great points. College costs are so high and things in general have changed so much as far as job opportunities that I have softened from the belief of the poster you quoted to more of a do what we can to help them get through college with minimal debt.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:32 PM   #21
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We have some savings for each of our twins, specifically for college. How far it goes will depend on which college they choose. They are 13 now, and we are beginning the discussion about "what" college costs and "how much" they can expect from us. They will ultimately decide where they want to go, but with the right choice on their parts, they will have enough for about 50-60% of the cost. The rest they will have to figure out. I think this is a good compromise between full freight and nothing at all.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:35 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmwade77 View Post
I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.
You realize that in terms of financial aide, the federal government expects parents who are able to contribute to do so, right? Many of my friends were offered less aide than I because of their parents' income. They would not have been able to pay the full load on their own because they were being given loans and grants based on an inflated income that didn't reflect what they were able to pay on their own. I paid my way, with the help of financial aide, but I had to work very long hours. I felt my peers who had parents to help pay some of it were very fortunate that they could focus on studies and not have work be their number one priority while they were studying, as it was for me.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:39 PM   #23
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My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.
I had the same experience. I feel very fortunate to have attended school during a time when it was affordable. I also graduated with a high GPA as part of my own personal sense of satisfaction.

Nowadays most parents can't afford to flip the bill for four years of school and to leave a child with $80 - $160 in student loans is obscene.

It's a give and take situation and not entirely black and white.

You are going to know by the time you kid gets to high school whether they are college bound and whether they deserve a college education. I have one son who absolutely will benefit from a college education and I intend to continue to work so I can help him pay for it. Fortunately, he is smart enough that he is qualifying for scholarships at all the schools that have accepted him thus far (he is a senior). His ultimate decision will be based on total 4 year cost and academic rating / rigor of the school.

When you send your kid to school you have to file a FAFSA which will determine your estimated financial contribution. The school looks at that to determine whether your child qualifies for grants and financial aide.

I have friends who have tremendous debt from student loans now. They are married, with children, and still paying off student loan. It will impact them for the next 20 to 30 years of their lives.

As a parent, you can take out loans. If you are older there is a type of loan that can be forgiven if the parent dies (Parent - plus loan?)

Anyway - if you do not intend to save any money for your child's education I hope that you pray for (1) a child with a 3.85 or better GPA, SAT score of 2050 or better, and the desire to take multiple AP courses (2) a child who excels at a sport and is recruited by a Division 1 school (3) a child suitable for community college to bachelor's program with free or reduced tuition in your state.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:42 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigeon
No, we absolutely intend to pay for four years at a public university or the equivalent. If I wasn't willing to do that, I wouldn't have had kids, personally.

My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.
100% agree.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:44 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Pigeon View Post
No, we absolutely intend to pay for four years at a public university or the equivalent. If I wasn't willing to do that, I wouldn't have had kids, personally.

My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by disykat View Post
Every child I know who knows their mom and dad are sacrificing for them and has been taught about money/loans/college costs has honored that sacrifice.
Those same kids are the ones who know that if they don't honor the sacrifices their parents are making to help them, the parents will STOP paying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmwade77 View Post
I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.
Personally, I don't see is as being entitled. Ive always felt its my responsibility to raise and educate my kids so that they can then go out and be successful citizens and members of society.

Ive never understood the idea of a young kid having to borrow money or take money from the government and put themselves in debt. I don't wish that on anyone and certainly not on my kids. The number of kids I had was directly affected by my ability to finance their education.

Now, if they don't go to college, then they are on their own. And as soon as they graduate, they are on their own.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:48 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmwade77 View Post
I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.
This. DH and I both paid for our own college. DD10 and DS9 will be either paying for theirs or going another direction. In our high schools they have whats called the A+ program. If the kids get good grades all 4 years, have good attendance, and volunteer a certain number of hours tutoring at the elementary schools they will have 2 full years of community college paid for. They can also take the military route. Or there are work to pay colleges like the School of the Ozarks that DD may be interested in. I believe kids need to work hard and earn what they get!
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:02 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by TXinmyheart View Post
I am of the Clark Howard camp that you cannot borrow for your retirement. I personally think it builds character and makes for a better student when they have skin in the game.

I see it all the time with business people with the difference in the way they treat things, shop, vacation when someone else is not picking up the tab.
Oh my goodness, I said essentially the same thing on another thread the other day (and got a lot of flack for it too!). I'm with you 100%. I have four kids and they will be responsible for their own education. Why shouldn't they be? It's their future. It's too easy to treat college like not much more than 4 yrs of extended adolescence when you're not footing the bill.
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:03 PM   #28
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We had more kids than we originally planned (twins when we thought we were just going to have a 2nd ), so we didn't save what we had hoped we could by the time they went to college. However, we live in a college town, all 3 of our kids were perfectly OK with living at home while they attended college which saved a huge amount of money for them. We also were lucky enough that they received scholarships throughout their 4 years, and were able to get a discount by having a parent work at the university. They still have some loans, but nothing that they can't work off (about the amount we had when my husband and I finished college).

However, looking back, the college education we always told them to get hasn't helped them yet like it did my husband and me. They are struggling to find jobs, and we wonder if we shouldn't have encouraged them to look at trade options as well. I know that there are other benefits of education, but it sure would be nice to have some financial benefits attached as well. I hate to think how bad things would be for them if they had some of the educational debts like many kids we meet every day...
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:07 PM   #29
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My father paid for most of my college expenses (and I did just fine) and we expect to continue to help out as much as we can when it comes to our son. If others decide to do differently, that makes no difference to me.
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:08 PM   #30
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I just wanna say that whatever you do for one kid - PLEASE do the same for ALL of them.

I still have resentment because I paid for my ENTIRE college myself - less a couple student loan payments my parents made for me.

Then they turned around and paid for my younger siblings ENTIRE 2 years of college.

The whole "Things are different now" phrase does not sit well with me.

Plus it does not help that I was pretty much forced to move out at age 19 because "there is no room in the house" but my younger siblings are 26 and 20 and still live at home with no plans to move out at all. But that's a whole 'nother thing.
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