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Old 01-15-2013, 01:20 PM   #16
DopeyDame
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If I knew the parents, I probably would give them a call to let them know that thier kid's facebook page is set to public - that in and of itself is a problem to me. If the parents know, than I obviously wouldn't pursue it any further. Beyond that, it really depends on exactly what you were bothered by and how well you know the parents and kids involved.

For all those who say that they are friends with their kid on facebook... how do you know that what you see is actually their only facebook account? I'm asking in all seriousness... because I think the rule is a good one, but it seems to me that any kid who wants to get around that rule would very easily make two accounts. My DS is only 3, so I haven't really confronted this issue yet, but it has me stressed.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:53 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jensen View Post
Facebook Creeping: An act in which one looks at a friend's/stranger's facebook profile, pictures, and recent activity.

If you don't even know the lingo...
I'm resistant to such affectations.
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:04 PM   #18
Riles_and_Gabe
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My 14-year old DS has an account. I have his password and will randomly check on it. If there is something I don't like, we will discuss it. I haven't got to the point yet that I asked him to remove a friend. However, he rarely remembers to go on to FB, so it isn't a huge concern for me. Everyone in the family gets so excited when he actually posts something .
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:14 PM   #19
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I have let friends know when their kids' pages are open to the public. The parents are clueless. One thanked me and tried to fix it. The other was just like "I don't know how these things work." and left it open. Her child. Her decision.

I do monitor my DD's page. She'll be 13 on Friday and was given an account early to play games and of course it's under her horse's name. Nothing exciting is ever posted. That being said, I do have a step daughter that my DD is not allowed to "friend". I know it's her sister but the 22 yo has mental health issues. DD does not need to see all the suicide threats (regular occurence).
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:14 PM   #20
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We call this "facestalking," and, yes, it is creepy that you are "creeping" on other kid's pages.

It is quite a different thing to read your own child's page, especially when you are checking for content. I have a teen. She is aware we read her page, that was part of the rules of getting one.
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:37 PM   #21
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For all those who say that they are friends with their kid on facebook... how do you know that what you see is actually their only facebook account? I'm asking in all seriousness... because I think the rule is a good one, but it seems to me that any kid who wants to get around that rule would very easily make two accounts. My DS is only 3, so I haven't really confronted this issue yet, but it has me stressed.[/QUOTE]

While that's always a possibility, with my daughter I honestly don't believe she would bother. She is on the quiet side and never posts anything herself. But like you said, kids can always find a way if they want to get around the rules. One thing that helps is that we don't allow any computers upstairs, only in common family areas. That doesn't solve what they do at friend's houses, etc. I also had to make a rule of no computers if they wake up first in the morning or if I run to the store. But then I'm trusting them to follow the rules, no guarantee. It's not easy!
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:39 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jensen View Post
My child doesn't have Facebook, but many of his classmates do. So, I was creeping around on their pages (public settings) to see what these kids are using it for... to decide whether I should let him open a page.

My question: Is that weird? To be creeping on those pages for that reason?

I saw something on one of the pages that bothered me and that I want to share with another parent. But, I don't want others to think I'm a freak for creeping on kids pages.
I don't think you're creepy. You have to know what is on there to decide whether to let your child have FB. Too many parents DON'T check it out, and they should!
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:44 PM   #23
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I admit to checking things out. I'm surprised that a lot of my DS17's facebook friends don't have their security tight. I can often see their posts if my DS responds to them. So, yes- I will check those out. Most of the time, they are innocent, and usually sports related. I do see a lot of foul language, but not from my DS. I don't like the language, but I let it slide (I'm not about to message a parent about **** from their 17 year old.)

Both of my teens have a FB account, but neither of them use it very frequently. I think I am on there more than they are!
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:54 PM   #24
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My daughter has a Fb but doesn't use it regularly. but that was a condition of her getting a FB page. I have access to her page and some of her friends have requested me as a friend.

but she is 16 and a Jr so they have all pretty much moved on to Twitter.
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:59 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DopeyDame
If I knew the parents, I probably would give them a call to let them know that thier kid's facebook page is set to public - that in and of itself is a problem to me. If the parents know, than I obviously wouldn't pursue it any further. Beyond that, it really depends on exactly what you were bothered by and how well you know the parents and kids involved.

For all those who say that they are friends with their kid on facebook... how do you know that what you see is actually their only facebook account? I'm asking in all seriousness... because I think the rule is a good one, but it seems to me that any kid who wants to get around that rule would very easily make two accounts. My DS is only 3, so I haven't really confronted this issue yet, but it has me stressed.
don't be stressed - Facebook may not even be around In 10 years

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Old 01-15-2013, 07:04 PM   #26
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I don't think it's creepy at all. Public accounts are just that....public. They are out there for anyone to see so what exactly is wrong with looking? Nevermind that you're doing it for a reason, and a good one at that. It's not like you're surfing for a boyfriend.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:19 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DopeyDame View Post
For all those who say that they are friends with their kid on facebook... how do you know that what you see is actually their only facebook account? I'm asking in all seriousness... because I think the rule is a good one, but it seems to me that any kid who wants to get around that rule would very easily make two accounts. My DS is only 3, so I haven't really confronted this issue yet, but it has me stressed.
I know my 22 year old son has two FB accounts. I "de-friended" him on one because I was not happy with some of the things him and his friends were posting, but he doesn't live with me, and he's an adult, so that's his prerogative. However, he missed his communication with me, so he made a new "family friendly" FB account that me and my family are friends with him. Seriously, there are some things parents of kids that age DON'T want to know!!
I can imagine there are plenty of teens that have the same.

that being said, I was a very strict mom when my boys were growing up. I got, i guess you'd call it a home version of spywear, for my computer because I caught my, then, 12 year old son looking at porn. Now, I'm not a prude, but those stupid sights spread virus's and unwittingly download other stuff onto your computer (such stuff as child porn, can you say FBI?). Anyway I got this program that recorded keystrokes and took screenshots of what they did....you could even lock off the internet if you didn't want it during a particular time unsupervised. I wasn't sneaky about it, I told them, and told them that I would "spot check" every now & then just to make sure they weren't abusing their privilege....and that's what the internet was, a privilege, not a right. I Found some minor infractions that warranted taking the internet away from them a few times, but I think it was a good tool to make them think twice about going to particular sites.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:27 PM   #28
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I have 3 sons on Facebook and I look at their friends' pages. I have had them unfriend a few, over the years. I dont look at it as creeping, I look at it as being a good parent . I also periodically log in as my kids, to see stuff thats not public. And at prom time I log in as DS17 to see all the photos!

I am friend's with my nephew. He has posted nasty stuff about his parents...I call them when I see it. He unfriended me, and them, and they allowed him too. He eventually refriended me. Now he posts scripture on his Facebook. His Twitter, on the other hand chronicles how much he drinks and how much weed he smokes. His parents dont look at his Twitter, because they want to trust him and give him privacy. Lovely.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:41 PM   #29
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I totally agree with this. I don't think there's anything wrong with what youre doing. Not at all. Youre doing some research before deciding. Good for you!.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemini2727

I don't think you're creepy. You have to know what is on there to decide whether to let your child have FB. Too many parents DON'T check it out, and they should!

My son has Facebook. I have his password and he knows it. He knows I check randomly. I have questioned him about a few things. But for the most part he's pretty good.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:45 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katy Belle View Post
I have 3 sons on Facebook and I look at their friends' pages. I have had them unfriend a few, over the years. I dont look at it as creeping, I look at it as being a good parent . I also periodically log in as my kids, to see stuff thats not public. And at prom time I log in as DS17 to see all the photos!

I am friend's with my nephew. He has posted nasty stuff about his parents...I call them when I see it. He unfriended me, and them, and they allowed him too. He eventually refriended me. Now he posts scripture on his Facebook. His Twitter, on the other hand chronicles how much he drinks and how much weed he smokes. His parents dont look at his Twitter, because they want to trust him and give him privacy. Lovely.
I honestly can't believe how naive some parents are. Teens are the most unpredictable creatures on earth, with all those hormones and choices they have to make. I've heard so many times people talk about how they KNOW their teen...I say you know what your teen wants you to know.
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