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Old 01-14-2013, 09:16 AM   #1
tracey1302
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Advice - I need to stop thinking about my Disney wedding!!!!

Hello everyone!

I don't really know where else to post this as I need advice from Disney brides past and present to help me out with this predicament! My DBF and I have been together for 4 years this April. We've been talking about getting engaged for the last couple of years and have planned to go back to Florida with my parents and Neil (DBF) told me last week (kind of wish he hadn't now due to how distracted I am but I'm so so so so excited ) that when we go over there, he's going to propose

The only problem is.... now, I can think about little else. I've always known I wanted a Disney wedding and DBF knows and is prepared for us to go for it. His family know and my family know and quite a few of our friends know as well that when the time comes, this is what we'll be planning. Now I'm sure you would all be saying, so what's the problem? It's your wedding, be excited and enjoy every moment but....

I'm a final year PhD student. Currently, I have written 42,000 out of a proposed 100,000. I want to finish desperately. I've been in higher education for 7 years now. But every time I sit down to write the thing, I get distracted by Disney wedding planning I need to focus. Not to mention that if I don't secure academic employment, we won't even be able to have the wedding (Unlikely to be honest, as I'm lined up for a job in my current department) But still, Tracey here appears to be in cloud cuckoo land about this whole thing.

Have any brides, past or present, got any advice for how to distract yourself from the wedding/engagement? I'm sure you must have to at some point.

HELP!!

Tracey x
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:21 AM   #2
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When my boyfriend (at the time) told me that when we get married, HE wants to do it at Disney, I could not think of anything else for a long time! I am in grad school and found this portion of the boards, and kind of went nuts.

Finally, when he hadn't proposed at the time I thought he might, I just got too busy and started to not think about it as much.

After he proposed to me LAST MONTH in front of Cinderella Castle on my birthday, I have thought of nothing else!! I've been obsessed about it. I think its because I can't do anything to get the ball rolling until 9 months out. I called today, which is my 9 month date. I'm a bit disappointed, now. I assumed that I could be 'penciled in' at 9 months to the day. No. I can sign up to talk to a planner 9 months out. So now, I have to wait a few more days to even see if I can get the date I want. Its kind of put me off on planning a bit

The only thing I can tell you to do is make yourself busy. Work, for me, has been horrid, so I tend to come home and fall asleep (I'm a nurse and work 12 hour shifts). If you can't think of anything else when you set down at the computer.... get up and do something else productive, like clean or something. That way, you aren't being a complete non-productive daydreamer!
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:04 PM   #3
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Congrats on being in your last year! DFi dropped out of his PhD program because it was taking too long so I understand how tough it is! I also understand what it's like to be completely consumed with Disney/wedding thoughts. Try alternating your time between dissertation writing and wedding planning...write for an hour or so, and as a reward, you can research wedding stuff!
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:22 PM   #4
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Oh boy, I have NO advice for this—just commiseration. I was in the middle of an intensive 2-week course of study when we started working with Disney, and I was terrible about reading wedding magazines when I was supposed to be hitting the books. Eventually I got it down to just mealtime and bedtime, but then I'd stay up too late reading in bed!
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Old 01-14-2013, 02:52 PM   #5
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Oooh congratulations! Congrats on getting so far with your PhD, what's you area? I applied for a few scholarships last year but didn't get through and can't afford it self-funded at the minute (especially now I have a wedding to save for ).

I'm not sure if I can give you any advice - I am exactly the same! I eat, sleep and dream my Disney wedding even though I can't even call until May! All I will say is that for the first 2 weeks I knew about our wedding, I literally never had my nose out of wedding magazines and Pinterest, whereas now I've calmed down a bit (only after work haha!) Enjoy it, it only happens once!

Had to comment as I am a Scot currently live in Birmingham but will be moving to Yorkshire very soon with DF's work, so hello fellow Yorkshire bride!
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:02 PM   #6
tracey1302
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I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that people actually sympathise on here. Wedding dreaming and planning is so addictive and now he's said it's going to happen I'm just too excited to think about anything else I just keep thinking, who will come? will there be enough space in Whitehall for a party of 50ish as that's how many I think would come... what shall I do for colour scheme? what shall I do about transport? shall I get the carriage?! Fully knowing that it's just NUTS as it's not happening for another 4 years!!! This has been the dream since I was 5 years old, to meet a man I love as much as I love DBF and get engaged and married at Disney. And is bigger dream than the PhD (probably because it's a childhood fantasy that I'll be living out as opposed to an adult ambition)

I think I might try the work and reward tactic...

Maybe do 2 hours work and half an hour's wedding planning or something along those lines....
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ariel_ View Post
Oooh congratulations! Congrats on getting so far with your PhD, what's you area? I applied for a few scholarships last year but didn't get through and can't afford it self-funded at the minute (especially now I have a wedding to save for ).

I'm not sure if I can give you any advice - I am exactly the same! I eat, sleep and dream my Disney wedding even though I can't even call until May! All I will say is that for the first 2 weeks I knew about our wedding, I literally never had my nose out of wedding magazines and Pinterest, whereas now I've calmed down a bit (only after work haha!) Enjoy it, it only happens once!

Had to comment as I am a Scot currently live in Birmingham but will be moving to Yorkshire very soon with DF's work, so hello fellow Yorkshire bride!
Hey hey! YORKSHIRE! God's best work!

Yeah I'm self funded due to the complete lack of funding for postgrad in the Arts in the UK - financially it's been an absolute drain. I funded myself through first year. I worked in a temp job I hated for a year to afford my first year's tuition and then got a Career Development Loan through Barclays for the last two years which I'll have to pay off next February onwards...I've worked 3 jobs alongside the full time PhD for the past two years to make rent and to eat

My area... is Disney

I did my undergrad at Oxford in History, and my MA in History at Leeds but veered off to follow my passion for PhD. I teach Cinema at the University of Leeds currently but my thesis topic is 'Historical 'Tooning: Disney, the Depression and War 1932 to 1945.' I'm researching the ideology of Disney animation and how its developments in the 1930s contributed to it becoming a major propaganda tool during WW2' :

I love it but the motivation to write has drained away with this latest announcement from DBF....
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:42 PM   #8
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I'm in my third year of my DVM program (out of 4), thinking about another 3 year residency after that, maybe an MS or PhD... That makes at least 11 years of higher education (I am obviously insane ). Sometimes I just need to take a break and get it all out of my system, so I'll spend a day or two making obsessive changes to my next Disney trip itinerary.

I'm a Mac user, I use a program called "SelfControl" to block certain websites for a specific amount of time. You choose which URLs to add to the blacklist. Not even restarting the computer will unblock the website until the time has run its course, so that pretty much fixes my problem when I REALLY need to buckle down. I know they make similar programs for PCs.
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:24 PM   #9
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I just dropped in to say CONGRATS -- I am addicted to my wedding as well, totally ruining any other productivity in my life :-)
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:30 PM   #10
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I never got into wedding planning in the same way as other women. I mean, I enjoyed it, but it was only a small part of my life when I was engaged. I was into my second degree attending school full time, plus working 40+ hours a week. When Christmas holidays came around I quite literally went from my last exam to work, and worked right through until school went back (I got Christmas Day off).

Truthfully, my advice would be to enjoy every second of the planning and being engaged, but don't let it take over. I think women get so invested in this one day that when it's over they often face feeling of being let down or even depressed. While it's fun to be the bride, to have all the attention and to focus on yourself (This is NOT a criticism, I think a wedding is one of the few times women are actually encouraged to think about themselves, which I've always thought was a little sad...), keep things in perspective.

Your wedding will be a great day, but it will not be "the best day of your life." It will come and go, and the future will bring even better days and even more magical moments. Best of all, you'll have a hand to hold when all those other amazing days happen!
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:08 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember View Post

Your wedding will be a great day, but it will not be "the best day of your life." It will come and go, and the future will bring even better days and even more magical moments. Best of all, you'll have a hand to hold when all those other amazing days happen!

So So True Ember!

Don't let your focus on the wedding make you lose focus on the marriage! I have spent 16 years as a 'disneybride' and could probably count our big arguements on one hand. Your day will come and go, but the best will come with time...and often without much planning.

We had a simple wedding, and although the memory is beautiful, my favorite part is going back to the Yacht Club Wedding Gazebo and getting yet another wedding kiss.
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Old 01-15-2013, 09:17 PM   #12
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Awww it's a nice problem to have! I reward myself with wedding planning - for example, "I will go ahead and look up X about my wedding after I do Y." That's been the best help for me.
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