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Old 10-02-2013, 04:11 PM   #1
BigAlsGal
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Teacher troubles.....

Anyone have experience in this arena? I've got 6 year old twins that are in first grade. I have opted to keep them in the same class since they were last year and did fairly well.

The beginning of the year was rough. Getting into the routine. The teacher expressed to us that one of my daughters "challenges" her more than the other. Oddly enough it was the twin that is normally the most sensitive. So I was a little shocked that she was talking about this particular twin.

She said she wanted to give us a heads up before she started taking away recess and we told her we would help her in any way we could and would do our best to reinforce things at home. I'm now concerned that she might be over doing it. My daughters came home and said the "challenging" twin got her recess taken away for working ahead on a complete in class together assignment. She said she was yelled at and the other twin confirmed it "she's usually pretty honest even if it means throwing her sister under the bus". I just feel the punishment is pretty extreme for working ahead. I'm all about punishment in the right circumstances. I'm just not feeling I can stand behind this one.

Any advice is appreciated.
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:16 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by BigAlsGal View Post
Anyone have experience in this arena? I've got 6 year old twins that are in first grade. I have opted to keep them in the same class since they were last year and did fairly well. The beginning of the year was rough. Getting into the routine. The teacher expressed to us that one of my daughters "challenges" her more than the other. Oddly enough it was the twin that is normally the most sensitive. So I was a little shocked that she was talking about this particular twin. She said she wanted to give us a heads up before she started taking away recess and we told her we would help her in any way we could and would do our best to reinforce things at home. I'm now concerned that she might be over doing it. My daughters came home and said the "challenging" twin got her recess taken away for working ahead on a complete in class together assignment. She said she was yelled at and the other twin confirmed it "she's usually pretty honest even if it means throwing her sister under the bus". I just feel the punishment is pretty extreme for working ahead. I'm all about punishment in the right circumstances. I'm just not feeling I can stand behind this one. Any advice is appreciated.
I'd email the teacher for clarification. Kids don't always interpret things correctly. My 1st grader would tell me why she got a 'yellow' for the day and it would sound totally believable. Then I'd look at her behavior chart and see the teacher wrote the real reason lol.

Did she clarify what's so challenging about the particular twin? I'd maybe give it a bit of time and see if you still feel that she's being a little harshly punished and schedule a meeting if you still feel that way. I don't thnk any first grade teacher wants to takes way the fun stuff though.
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:19 PM   #3
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The teacher wanted the assignment to be done together as a class and your DD did not follow directions, so I think the teacher was completely approproate for taking away your DD recess.
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:19 PM   #4
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It looks like the teacher has a plan and you said you would be supportive. I would let the teacher do her thing to keep her students on task and motivated.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to schedule a follow up meeting for a month from now to discuss the plan and see if it needs tweaking.
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:45 PM   #5
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Developing listening skills is very important in 1st grade. It sounds as though your DD disregarded the directions and decided to do her own thing. If that's the case, I can see where the teacher is coming from.

I don't know that I would take recess away for one incident like this, but perhaps your DD had similar episodes during the day and the teacher felt that she needed to give your DD a consequence that would deter her from not listening in the future.

I agree that getting clarification from the teacher would be a good idea. A 6 yr old's interpretation of a situation can be accurate or vastly different from what really happened.
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:50 PM   #6
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Well. This may not be a popular opinion....
I would ask to have the 'challenging' DD moved to another class. I have several friends with multiples, and to a mom all have had their same sex twin children in different classes. One friend has boy/girl twins and had them in the same class through elementary school, now they go to different high schools. It's not fair to the kids to be compared all the time. Inadvertently or on purpose. If you think it wouldn't be right to move her now, definitely separate them next year. Even my friends with several children didn't have their kids have the same teacher if they could help it. It's not fair to be compared to your older sibling. Good or bad.
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Old 10-02-2013, 05:37 PM   #7
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Well. This may not be a popular opinion....
I would ask to have the 'challenging' DD moved to another class. I have several friends with multiples, and to a mom all have had their same sex twin children in different classes. One friend has boy/girl twins and had them in the same class through elementary school, now they go to different high schools. It's not fair to the kids to be compared all the time. Inadvertently or on purpose. If you think it wouldn't be right to move her now, definitely separate them next year. Even my friends with several children didn't have their kids have the same teacher if they could help it. It's not fair to be compared to your older sibling. Good or bad.
I agree.
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Old 10-02-2013, 06:08 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Gretchen View Post
Well. This may not be a popular opinion....
I would ask to have the 'challenging' DD moved to another class. I have several friends with multiples, and to a mom all have had their same sex twin children in different classes. One friend has boy/girl twins and had them in the same class through elementary school, now they go to different high schools. It's not fair to the kids to be compared all the time. Inadvertently or on purpose. If you think it wouldn't be right to move her now, definitely separate them next year. Even my friends with several children didn't have their kids have the same teacher if they could help it. It's not fair to be compared to your older sibling. Good or bad.
I have to agree too, at some point you have to remember you have 2 separate girls, that need their own space and room to become individuals. As to what happened in school, you really need to get with the teacher(call, email whatever) before you assume things happened exactly as your 6 year olds saw it. Listening and following directions is very important.
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Old 10-02-2013, 06:14 PM   #9
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I teach in a small school, one class per grade. We have 2 sets of twins in first grade and in each set, there is one that is a bit more challenging. The teacher is managing it.

I would ask the teacher about what happened. In our school, working ahead wouldn't be a punishable offense unless it was done all wrong. Then it would be a re-do.

In a related story, my friend's son came home and said his teacher told him to go in the hall if he was going to work ahead. The teacher explained to my friend that they were working in groups, the son was working ahead and the rest of the group was copying off of him. She told him to go in the hall so he could work ahead and the rest of the group could do their own work. So it wasn't a punishment but actually a reward.

Point of the story - talk to the teacher. If recess was missed only bc they were working ahead, I wouldn't be happy.
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Old 10-02-2013, 07:08 PM   #10
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Doesn't sound like teacher trouble. Sounds like DD trouble. The teacher did already give you a heads up earlier. Let the teacher do her job, using her methods. Remind your DD to follow the teachers instructions. I wouldn't take the word yelling literally either. Of course you can address this with the teacher to show your support. Let the teacher explain the situation. Don't let the one DD be the tattle tale.
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Old 10-02-2013, 07:17 PM   #11
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Doesn't sound like teacher trouble.
Yep. At our house this would get a "Guess next time you'll listen to your teacher." That's all it requires.

But next year I'd put them in separate classes.
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Old 10-02-2013, 07:24 PM   #12
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Doesn't sound like teacher trouble. Sounds like DD trouble.
yup!

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Yep. At our house this would get a "Guess next time you'll listen to your teacher." That's all it requires.
..and yup again!
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:08 PM   #13
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I disagree with your title...should be DD troubles...not teacher troubles
Sorry teacher was right in this case.
Your DD chose not to follow the directions which teacher gave (working ahead on an in class project)- this can also be a huge distraction to the kids around her also. Teacher chose punishment--now as mom you have to support because you said you would.
Your DD needs to learn to follow the rules---I'm sure teacher just in front of the class as a whole said you need to stay with us. I am sure it felt like YELLING to a first grader being called out in front of a class but you need to remember there are two sides and give the teacher a chance.
I'd let it go....honestly.
Tell your DD to LISTEN to the teacher that is the most important lesson to learn here!
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:44 PM   #14
BigAlsGal
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Thanks for the advice. The issue at hand here doesn't have much to do with the fact my twins are in the same class together though. I don't really need advice on that.

Again I'm all about punishment. I just think in this instance taking away recess is a bit on the hardcore side. They are 6 years old and recess is the only time they get to let loose the entire time. Most teachers I know use the card system. Going straight to taking away recess is a bit extreme. I remember when I was in school taking away recess meant you did something pretty bad. Working ahead?? (Not following instructions)?? That's a pull your card offense.
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:46 PM   #15
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Also this punishment is to occur tomorrow. It hasn't already happened.
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