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Old 01-09-2013, 03:32 PM   #226
artemis908
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I see my parents as good role models for parenting guidelines, so when I think of when I was a little girl, it was about 12 when my parents started to not need me to be within arms reach and I got to go to the mall with my friends (my parents were never too far away) and do things more independently. So that's for the original poster.

As for the ladies room thing, it does make me slightly uncomfortable to see a child older than about 8 or 9 in the bathroom. I also feel sorry for him because it must be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Most bathroom stalls have some space in between the panels and doors. It's really easy most of the time to look inside them and if you can see those outside of the stall, they can see you. Adults know not to look and I am sure many kids understand that as well, but intentional or not, I think some kids might be curious to look inside (I've seen it happen, in fact). I just don't see what is a problem with the kid staying outside of the bathroom is. You're in the bathroom for maybe 5 minutes at most usually and unless you're in an unsafe area, I think the kids will be fine.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:34 PM   #227
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Just a note here, when I was 12 I regularly took public transportation by myself, walked a mile or so to take care of my pony and go riding off on public trails by myself, pre-cell phone days. This was on the edge of a major metro area and I did occasionally spot, and carefully avoid, homeless men, drug addled youth and the like. The seventies were statistically no safer or less safe than now. (Remember the Zodiac Killer?) I knew how to recognize people and places I could go to for assistance if needed, never took a ride with a stranger, etc. Same age my mom would drop us off at Disneyland (brother two years older) and we would meet up with her at a specified time later. If my brother and I separated for some reason, we would set an exact time and place to meet up and used our watches. We never got into any trouble at Disney (we could read, as well as read maps) and grew up confident adults.

Katie. Now 50 and not scared to travel solo occasionally. You meet nice people everywhere.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:37 PM   #228
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis908 View Post

As for the ladies room thing, it does make me slightly uncomfortable to see a child older than about 8 or 9 in the bathroom. I also feel sorry for him because it must be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Most bathroom stalls have some space in between the panels and doors. It's really easy most of the time to look inside them and if you can see those outside of the stall, they can see you. Adults know not to look and I am sure many kids understand that as well, but intentional or not, I think some kids might be curious to look inside (I've seen it happen, in fact). I just don't see what is a problem with the kid staying outside of the bathroom is. You're in the bathroom for maybe 5 minutes at most usually and unless you're in an unsafe area, I think the kids will be fine.
I missed this previous topic, but this one freaks me out. I travel alone a lot with the kids because of DHs work schedule. DS is a lonely boy. I have never made him come into the rest room with us, but I have, at a rest stop, used the companion bathroom and made him stand with his nose to the door, then I've stepped out when he went. Rest areas scare the crap out of me. That was years ago, now he's 11 but the size of a 14 yr old so I do send him in alone but then I tell him to wait RIGHT outside the bathroom door.

TERRIFIED! But at the mall, restaurants, Disney, he can go in alone and meet me in pre-assigned spot. We're going in FEB, me, a girlfriend + 4 kids (DS is still only boy) LOL
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:40 PM   #229
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I have a 9-year-old son and I'm trying to imagine what I would have to get to do to get him to so much as cross the threshold of a women's bathroom. I think he would - literally - let me pull his arm completely off his body before he would go in.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:40 PM   #230
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Color me surprised. I never knew we needed a discussion about whether twelve year olds can be by themselves for a little while. I agree with the poster who said, 'did we learn nothing from Nemo?'
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:40 PM   #231
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I think quite a few people on this thread has jumped on the crazy judgement train just because we have been asked a question and answered it honestly. No we wouldn't leave our child alone in WDW with millions of strangers .This is the truth.Pure and simple. I seriously hope that some of you are not suggesting that just because those of us who will not leave our child alone at WDW are somehow not preparing our child for the real world. Get real people, seriously. You don't know me or how I raise my child. MY child's independence and success far exceeds most people. You dont know how many teachers have told me to have more children because the world would be an awesome and better place if all children were like mine. And, I am a modest person who rarely brags. I can accomplish and do so much that very few people know about because i do things to help people not because i want recognition but i am saying this because it is the truth. Pure and simple. So let this topic go. I hope this post causes this thread to be removed.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:43 PM   #232
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It's all good, truthfully Ive been amazed at the fact there are 9 and 10 year old that would not balk at waiting for mom inside the girls room. Lol my sons would not even let me help them dress past age 6, they would have peed on themselves before going into the bathroom with me at age 9. My kids were pretty mature though, we lived in NYC so by 10 they went to school by themselves, rode the bus and definitely used the bathrooms by themselves
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:49 PM   #233
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Oh, I've been off the Disboards for a year or so since I didn't have a trip coming up - boy have I missed the lively debate!

As the OP, just wanted to thank everyone again for the responses. The whole "helicopter parent" vs. "free-range kids" topic is intriguing to me with a child of 12. I like to think I strike a good balance, and I think I've decided I'm going to let DD hang out and wait for us. I will FP the attractions, she will have her cell phone, and we will scope out a pre-determined area where she can spread her wings just a little with instructions on who to look for if she runs into an uncomfortable situation.



Edited to add: LOVED the Nemo comment!
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:50 PM   #234
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Have a safe and wonderful trip! :-)
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:25 PM   #235
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love Tink View Post
I have a 9-year-old son and I'm trying to imagine what I would have to get to do to get him to so much as cross the threshold of a women's bathroom. I think he would - literally - let me pull his arm completely off his body before he would go in.
I saw a completely humiliated 9-year old boy who was forced into the ladies room near Mickey's Startraders by his mommy on my trip at WDW last month. He begged and pleaded with his mommy to let him stay outside. He held onto the wall at the opening doorway and tried to resist being dragged in to no avail. When a stall opened, his mommy walked from the front of the line past all of us who looked on with disbelief to grab him by the arm and literally dragged him into a stall with her still complaining pitifully. Poor kid. His mommy didn't care that she embarrassed and humiliated him in front of a number of women and girls. He was safe .
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:30 PM   #236
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I saw a completely humiliated 9-year old boy who was forced into the ladies room near Mickey's Startraders by his mommy on my trip at WDW last month. He begged and pleaded with his mommy to let him stay outside. He held onto the wall at the opening doorway and tried to resist being dragged in to no avail. When a stall opened, his mommy walked from the front of the line past all of us who looked on with disbelief to grab him by the arm and literally dragged him into a stall with her still complaining pitifully. Poor kid. His mommy didn't care that she embarrassed and humiliated him in front of a number of women and girls. He was safe .
When they're embarrassed and humiliated to go into the women's restroom I think they'll handle the minor independence of peeing on their own just fine
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:30 PM   #237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robinb
I saw a completely humiliated 9-year old boy who was forced into the ladies room near Mickey's Startraders by his mommy on my trip at WDW last month. He begged and pleaded with his mommy to let him stay outside. He held onto the wall at the opening doorway and tried to resist being dragged in to no avail. When a stall opened, his mommy walked from the front of the line past all of us who looked on with disbelief to grab him by the arm and literally dragged him into a stall with her still complaining pitifully. Poor kid. His mommy didn't care that she embarrassed and humiliated him in front of a number of women and girls. He was safe .
Or maybe he wondered off last time she used the bathroom, and she had warned him next time he did it that he's have to go with her so as to teach him a valuable lesson. Who knows??

It's a tricky little thing, this judging a small snipit of someone's parenting methods without knowing the whole story.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:00 PM   #238
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Originally Posted by robinb View Post
I saw a completely humiliated 9-year old boy who was forced into the ladies room near Mickey's Startraders by his mommy on my trip at WDW last month. He begged and pleaded with his mommy to let him stay outside. He held onto the wall at the opening doorway and tried to resist being dragged in to no avail. When a stall opened, his mommy walked from the front of the line past all of us who looked on with disbelief to grab him by the arm and literally dragged him into a stall with her still complaining pitifully. Poor kid. His mommy didn't care that she embarrassed and humiliated him in front of a number of women and girls. He was safe .

Taking a boy in the ladies room is bad enough, making him come in the stall with his mom is CRAZY! That kid is going to have some issues. I have a 9 year old DS and cannot imagine him in my stall with me, I don't know which one of us would be more traumatized
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:02 PM   #239
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Or maybe he wondered off last time she used the bathroom, and she had warned him next time he did it that he's have to go with her so as to teach him a valuable lesson. Who knows??

It's a tricky little thing, this judging a small snipit of someone's parenting methods without knowing the whole story.
There is not lesson in the world that would require my 9 year old son to watch me use the restroom. I can't imagine having a young man in one of those tiny stalls while I did my business
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:04 PM   #240
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Or maybe he wondered off last time she used the bathroom, and she had warned him next time he did it that he's have to go with her so as to teach him a valuable lesson. Who knows??

It's a tricky little thing, this judging a small snipit of someone's parenting methods without knowing the whole story.
It's not tricky at all . EVEN if she was trying to teach him a lesson I found her parenting methods to be (1) humiliating to her child and (2) disruptive to the rest of the women and girls who were waiting to use their own gendered bathroom.
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