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Old 01-08-2013, 11:00 PM   #166
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Originally Posted by minnie mum View Post
Possibly. But it does mean that they are raising a kid without the necessary social skills to cope with the real world when they finally manage to get out on their own.
Or, they are sheltering them for a little while (and helping them feel safe) until they are ready for the real world. I've seen both methods and so far, I haven't seen an 18 year old without the social skills to cope with the real world just because they were sheltered more than another child. I'm sure that some people go too far - I'm not talking about them. I really don't think either method is wrong unless its carried to an extreme. My first born was sheltered a lot, my middle child not so much. Both of them seem to be okay so far.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:13 PM   #167
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She can wait in the ride line with you and not board the ride, the CM will show her where to wait, we have done this.
That is exactly what we always do. Works great! That way my DD is right by the exit when we get off and we were only separated for a couple minutes. (Most of the "scary rides" are very quick.)
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:30 PM   #168
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The fact that the only story you could find is almost 6 years old and which took place in another country makes my own point better than yours.
Why on earth would you think that is the only story of a parent leaving a child alone and something going wrong? Sadly, there are too many of these examples in our country. I mentioned it because the case has haunted me since Maddie disappeared and is currently in the news again due to new information. Maddie was born on the same exact day as my daughter. Anyway, OP, I think your DD will be fine. Parents leaving sleeping children alone are taking chances I would never take with my precious kids.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:49 PM   #169
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But the probability that something would go wrong in 10-15 minutes is negligible. I know that I walked my dog around the block at night when my DD was 3-7 and asleep in her bed. It took about 5-10 minutes and I didn't think twice about it. I guess my house could have been hit by a meteorite while I was walking the dog, but don't waste my time worrying about things that are unlikely to happen.
I think there is a difference between a 5-10 minutes walk around the neighborhood and a 10-15 min drive. During a 5-10 min walk around the neighborhood you are really never more than 2.5 to 5 minutes away from your house, and can probably even see it most of the time. But that's my opinion.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:50 PM   #170
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Originally Posted by "Cinder" Ella's Mom View Post
Why on earth would you think that is the only story of a parent leaving a child alone and something going wrong? Sadly, there are too many of these examples in our country.
The fact is there ARE NOT "too many examples" in our country of terrible things happening to children left alone for a few minutes. It is your fear that makes you think that because Maddie's story sticks with you. It's like when people bring up Matthew Cecchi as an excuse to bring their 9-year old sons into the ladies room at WDW. In any case, I wasn't talking about leaving a child alone and asleep for a long time (like a dinner in Maddie's case IIRC or while a parent works or goes to the bar for a few drinks). I was talking about the time it takes to walk the dog around the block or to drop a parent off at a nearby work location.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:57 PM   #171
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If she is a bright child whom you spoke to about stranger danger. I would be ok with it as long as she as a cell phone with her that you could call her and check on her every so often!
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:17 AM   #172
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I think there is a difference between a 5-10 minutes walk around the neighborhood and a 10-15 min drive. During a 5-10 min walk around the neighborhood you are really never more than 2.5 to 5 minutes away from your house, and can probably even see it most of the time. But that's my opinion.
You're right about actually being closer to the house while walking the dog. I guess I was moved to defend the people that married2mm brought up because most folks who work split shifts are sacrificing time with their partners to be able to be home with their children instead of putting them in daycare. The couple in question was really between a rock and a hard place since the the Mom did not drive and needed a ride to work after the kids went to bed (3rd shift starts when? 9-11pm?). So, instead of being thought of as great parents who made a difficult choice and are doing the best that they can to implement that choice, they are thought of as lousy parents who abandon their kids at home and who should be brought up on negligence charges (as some have suggested). Personally, I didn't leave my DD home alone when she was little for any longer than that quick dog walk but I wasn't faces with making difficult choices like that young family.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:42 AM   #173
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Originally Posted by minnie mum

Possibly. But it does mean that they are raising a kid without the necessary social skills to cope with the real world when they finally manage to get out on their own.
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Originally Posted by mom2rtk

Maybe not. But I think it depends on the parent and how it is conveyed to the child. I do think the more you shield them, the greater the odds they will look toward life in a fearful manner instead of a confident manner. They can't develop the skills to deal with what life will inevitably throw at them without developing those skills along the way.
I'm sure your kids were brought up in quiet suburbia where where all you have to worry about is getting your confident kids to ballet class on time.Where I'm from you better shelter your kids or you won't have any! So be careful when giving advice to people you don't know! And I'm sure even sheltered my kids will grow up with more confidence than anyone in your neck of the woods.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:44 AM   #174
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Originally Posted by robinb
You're right about actually being closer to the house while walking the dog. I guess I was moved to defend the people that married2mm brought up because most folks who work split shifts are sacrificing time with their partners to be able to be home with their children instead of putting them in daycare. The couple in question was really between a rock and a hard place since the the Mom did not drive and needed a ride to work after the kids went to bed (3rd shift starts when? 9-11pm?). So, instead of being thought of as great parents who made a difficult choice and are doing the best that they can to implement that choice, they are thought of as lousy parents who abandon their kids at home and who should be brought up on negligence charges (as some have suggested). Personally, I didn't leave my DD home alone when she was little for any longer than that quick dog walk but I wasn't faces with making difficult choices like that young family.
You have to do what you have to do!
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:48 AM   #175
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My daughter (12) and I will be travelling to Disney in March with another adult, a 21 year old gal who love, love, loves everything Disney and has never been. DD and I are beyond thrilled to take her for the first time and can't wait to see her face when she finally sees what she's always dreamed of!

DD is a bit of a ride chicken and still won't even consider ToT or RnRC (although she actually is willing to give Everest a try for the first time this trip!). I want our friend to get to see these, and I can't decide if I should send her on her own and stay back with DD, or if, for crying out loud the kid is 12 years old, I was babysitting at her age, and of course she will be just fine hanging out until we get off and go along! I hate to miss them myself on any trip! It's just the 3 of us travelling.

Which part of me is crazy? I should add that she occasionally is home for an hour or so alone, is a very bright and responsible girl, and knows all about stranger danger. If she were with a friend it would be a no brainer. But alone? Opinions?
You know your daughter better than anyone else. There are plenty of CM's around in case of a problem.

I would not with my 10 yo DD because she may wander and thinks the world is hers for the taking. She is not so good with listening to instructions sometimes. My DS is 12 and I would have no issues with leaving him alone with instructions on what to do in an emergency. It's mostly the differences in personality with mine. DD is very head strong and independent, DS is a little more analytical and less "spur of the moment".
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:54 AM   #176
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The fact is there ARE NOT "too many examples" in our country of terrible things happening to children left alone for a few minutes. It is your fear that makes you think that because Maddie's story sticks with you. It's like when people bring up Matthew Cecchi as an excuse to bring their 9-year old sons into the ladies room at WDW. In any case, I wasn't talking about leaving a child alone and asleep for a long time (like a dinner in Maddie's case IIRC or while a parent works or goes to the bar for a few drinks). I was talking about the time it takes to walk the dog around the block or to drop a parent off at a nearby work location.
I agree with you. I also agree there are many more examples of children being molested by those that they know, including very close family members, than strangers. I'm sure those that would never imagine leaving a 12 year old alone on a bench at WDW leave their 12 year old alone with their dad, grandpa, uncle cousin etc. To me, there is no difference. Actually, statistics show "something" is more likely to happen when left alone with the family member. Doesn't make either wrong.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:06 AM   #177
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I'm sure your kids were brought up in quiet suburbia where where all you have to worry about is getting your confident kids to ballet class on time.Where I'm from you better shelter your kids or you won't have any! So be careful when giving advice to people you don't know! And I'm sure even sheltered my kids will grow up with more confidence than anyone in your neck of the woods.
LOL, make assumptions much?

Security guards at my oldest son's local university shot and killed someone a block from campus just last week. But yes, there's a part of me that is very proud that he will get up, get in his car, and head to school when it starts next week.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:13 AM   #178
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I agree with you. I also agree there are many more examples of children being molested by those that they know, including very close family members, than strangers. I'm sure those that would never imagine leaving a 12 year old alone on a bench at WDW leave their 12 year old alone with their dad, grandpa, uncle cousin etc. To me, there is no difference. Actually, statistics show "something" is more likely to happen when left alone with the family member. Doesn't make either wrong.
Unfortunately, this is true. The odds of a stranger acting inappropriately with your child are much less than someone he/she knows. The best defense is repeatedly teach your kids to trust their instincts, tell someone if they feel funny about anything, that it's ok to say "no" to a grown-up, etc. We can't shield them from every danger, I wish we could, but we can help them to be aware and defend themselves.
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:49 AM   #179
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Originally Posted by mom2rtk

LOL, make assumptions much?

Security guards at my oldest son's local university shot and killed someone a block from campus just last week. But yes, there's a part of me that is very proud that he will get up, get in his car, and head to school when it starts next week.
You don't have a clue!
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:01 PM   #180
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I'm sure your kids were brought up in quiet suburbia where where all you have to worry about is getting your confident kids to ballet class on time.Where I'm from you better shelter your kids or you won't have any! So be careful when giving advice to people you don't know! And I'm sure even sheltered my kids will grow up with more confidence than anyone in your neck of the woods.
Want to take a guess at just how many assumptions you had to make in order to construct that response? And how many of them were completely wrong? Further, I don't recall giving any advice. Silly me, I thought I was simply making an observation and giving an opinion. Oh yes, and could you please specify exactly where you think my neck of the woods is located and how this is relevant?
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