Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 01-10-2013, 08:58 PM   #196
Buckalew11
2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: East Tn
Posts: 15,718

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robbi View Post
Buy a tracking device and put it in the car. I wouldn't call a PI cause I'd need the money for my criminal attorney.
when my sister was going through this her lawyer told her it was illegal and to be careful if she opted to do it.
__________________
Brenda: DISing since 2/2000


There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
Shining at the end of everyday
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
And tomorrow is just a dream away
Buckalew11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2013, 09:10 PM   #197
Robbi
DIS Veteran
 
Robbi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,694

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckalew11 View Post
when my sister was going through this her lawyer told her it was illegal and to be careful if she opted to do it.
She wouldn't have to tell him or anyone that she's done it. If they have have teenaged drivers, she could do it and then claim she was keeping track of her minor children.
I sure as heck would and keep a journal. I might also park somewhere and take pictures. If a person doesn't feel comfortable doing this, they could rent a car and keep it parked nearby. When spouse leaves, follow in the rental car.
Robbi is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 01-10-2013, 11:37 PM   #198
Buckalew11
2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: East Tn
Posts: 15,718

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robbi View Post
She wouldn't have to tell him or anyone that she's done it. If they have have teenaged drivers, she could do it and then claim she was keeping track of her minor children.
I sure as heck would and keep a journal. I might also park somewhere and take pictures. If a person doesn't feel comfortable doing this, they could rent a car and keep it parked nearby. When spouse leaves, follow in the rental car.
I think there have been cases when the driver of the vehicle takes the vehicle in for maintenance and it is found there. I'd think twice. DSis hired a PI. We also followed him. He did not have a clue. I guess he had only one thing on his mind. I followed him quite a bit. His own kids followed him (all were old enough to drive)--poor kids. They were more involved since they had had connections to this girl.
__________________
Brenda: DISing since 2/2000


There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
Shining at the end of everyday
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
And tomorrow is just a dream away
Buckalew11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:51 AM   #199
Nancyg56
DIS Veteran
 
Nancyg56's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: CT
Posts: 15,172

This is just what i would do and it does not involve PI's, tracking devices or voice activated recorders. I would hire an attorney and do what was suggested in order to protect myself financially. I would make sure I had copies of all of our financial documents. Then I would file for a divorce.

In my home there needs to be respect for me just as I respect my husband. He knew right from the start that if I took his name I wold honor it and that meant that I would never ever let anyone think I was available when I was committed to my husband. I would never humiliate him. I would never ridicule him. I would never deceive him. I expected the same and it was on the table that I would never "fight" for him. If any other woman could "take" him she could have him. Cheating is a deal breaker for me and in my opinion sneaky calls and texts are cheating.

So I would let him have it with both barrels and if this sneaky behavior was innocent he would need to prove it to me. I would not stoop to following him because what I already knew was enough to place the burden on him. I consider myself to be worth honesty and there is no way I would want to hold onto this guy.

This guys behavior is just not okay with me and I rather doubt I could get past it. He would need to work incredibly hard to prove to me that he was worth keeping, not the other way around.
__________________
Nancyg56 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:48 AM   #200
Bluestars
Smile and let the world wonder what you have been up to
I know I am strange, but you asked
 
Bluestars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,662

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckalew11 View Post
when my sister was going through this her lawyer told her it was illegal and to be careful if she opted to do it.
What if both names are on the title for the car? Surely it's not illegal to put a tracking device on a car you own. What if you wanted to do it with a car your teen drives?
Bluestars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:49 AM   #201
Bluestars
Smile and let the world wonder what you have been up to
I know I am strange, but you asked
 
Bluestars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,662

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robbi View Post
She wouldn't have to tell him or anyone that she's done it. If they have have teenaged drivers, she could do it and then claim she was keeping track of her minor children.
I sure as heck would and keep a journal. I might also park somewhere and take pictures. If a person doesn't feel comfortable doing this, they could rent a car and keep it parked nearby. When spouse leaves, follow in the rental car.
I also wouldn't be opposed to driving to the gym and watching the parking lot. Four hours a day working out is extreme. When you add the other behavior to it, then it's very suspicious. Of course if the husband calls her to see if she's at home, then driving to the gym might clue him in that he's being watched.
Bluestars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:51 AM   #202
aaarcher86
DIS Veteran
 
aaarcher86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 6,992

I think the tracking device legal issue can depend on the state. Just like recording phone calls - some states both parties have to know, and some only one party (the recording party) has to know.

I will say, that if you're at the point of tracking devices, key loggers on the computer, and hiring PI's there isn't much that is going to repair the relationship at that point. The trust is gone.
__________________
aaarcher86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:54 AM   #203
Bluestars
Smile and let the world wonder what you have been up to
I know I am strange, but you asked
 
Bluestars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,662

Quote:
Originally Posted by aaarcher86 View Post
I think the tracking device legal issue can depend on the state. Just like recording phone calls - some states both parties have to know, and some only one party (the recording party) has to know.

I will say, that if you're at the point of tracking devices, key loggers on the computer, and hiring PI's there isn't much that is going to repair the relationship at that point. The trust is gone.
The problem is that the text message can be explained away. The calls may even be explained away. Sometimes a person needs something more concrete to walk away from a marriage, especially if kids are involved. So sometimes more information is necessary in order to make the break. IMO.
Bluestars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:59 AM   #204
dawnhaze
DIS Veteran
 
dawnhaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,453

Quote:
Originally Posted by aaarcher86
I will say, that if you're at the point of tracking devices, key loggers on the computer, and hiring PI's there isn't much that is going to repair the relationship at that point. The trust is gone.
This, so much. If I was married to someone who put a tracking device on my car or a key logger on my computer, that marriage would be over. You either trust someone or you don't. Just my opinion.
__________________
dawnhaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 09:01 AM   #205
cabanafrau
DIS Veteran
 
cabanafrau's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: michigan
Posts: 5,061

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluestars View Post
The problem is that the text message can be explained away. The calls may even be explained away. Sometimes a person needs something more concrete to walk away from a marriage, especially if kids are involved. So sometimes more information is necessary in order to make the break. IMO.
When people are willing to accept explanations, they don't want to make the break or aren't ready to make the break.

When people actively start seeking out evidence they either want to make the break after protecting themselves, or they're hoping to prove their doubts wrong. Lots of people stay in it even after their doubts are proven reality. The heart wants what the heart wants.
cabanafrau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 09:03 AM   #206
aaarcher86
DIS Veteran
 
aaarcher86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 6,992

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluestars View Post
The problem is that the text message can be explained away. The calls may even be explained away. Sometimes a person needs something more concrete to walk away from a marriage, especially if kids are involved. So sometimes more information is necessary in order to make the break. IMO.
Oh sure. I'd never get a divorce over text messages or a phone call or something.

I just think you either trust someone or you don't. If you believe what he said, let it go. If you don't... I guess you do what you gotta do. IMO someone is going to cheat if they want to. I'm not going to chase someone around - it will come out. I don't have the time.

My Uncle did the whole following, email checking, phone checking thing with his now ex wife (and she was cheating - for 2 years!) but naturally every time he followed her it was nothing. Checked, there was nothing. He found out by chance one day. Seemed like a lot of time wasted he could be with his kids, or working, or doing something productive to me.
__________________
aaarcher86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 09:46 AM   #207
cheerful chickadee
I heart Disney World
 
cheerful chickadee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 1,825

just coming to check on the OP, haven't heard from her in a bit, hope everything is ok
cheerful chickadee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 10:04 AM   #208
Halloweenqueen
Whenever Candle Lights Flicker...
 
Halloweenqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 4,183

I would check with state laws before trying to record anyone. My uncle's wife left him for another guy. Their divorce was finalized and he won physical custody. His wife was between boyfriends and asked him if she could stay at his house on her visitation weekends. He agreed and stayed at his brother's on those days.

A couple months into this arrangement he started to notice things were missing from the home. Plus his oldest told him that mom was having a guy friend at the house. My uncle set up a camera in his living room, similar to a nanny can.

He found out that the wife was bringing in a guy, as well as a bunch of other interesting friends. He confronted her and she denied it. He told her about the camera in a fit of anger. Later that day the police came and questioned him. A day later they came and arrested him. He was charged with a felony. It took him almost a year and many thousands if dollars to clear him. It seems it is illegal to tape someone without their consent in his state.

Be careful!
__________________
dh me ds 16 dd 15 ds 15 dd 14 dd 10
Halloweenqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 10:05 AM   #209
Tuffcookie
Enjoys an early hour of peace
Women like the simple things in life...like men!:D
Is a smart cookie
 
Tuffcookie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Barberton,OH,US
Posts: 7,561

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerful chickadee View Post
just coming to check on the OP, haven't heard from her in a bit, hope everything is ok
If the OP is smart, she will stop giving us updates. Now that he knows she is suspicious he could be keeping tabs on her, including any web sites she frequents.

TC
__________________
Tuffcookie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 10:13 AM   #210
Bluestars
Smile and let the world wonder what you have been up to
I know I am strange, but you asked
 
Bluestars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,662

Quote:
Originally Posted by aaarcher86 View Post
Oh sure. I'd never get a divorce over text messages or a phone call or something.

I just think you either trust someone or you don't. If you believe what he said, let it go. If you don't... I guess you do what you gotta do. IMO someone is going to cheat if they want to. I'm not going to chase someone around - it will come out. I don't have the time.

My Uncle did the whole following, email checking, phone checking thing with his now ex wife (and she was cheating - for 2 years!) but naturally every time he followed her it was nothing. Checked, there was nothing. He found out by chance one day. Seemed like a lot of time wasted he could be with his kids, or working, or doing something productive to me.
What about the spouses who really are cheating? Should their wives or husbands trust every word they say without trying to find out more information? Another problem is that when a cheater is confronted, the cheater usually lies. So again, should the spouse trust the answer?

So your uncle was right. Maybe he needed confirmation. There's nothing wrong with seeking additional information when signs point to cheating. A person shouldn't feel guilty for doing what it takes to protect her health or emotional well being. A cheating spouse can bring home an STD or HIV. I think it would be unwise to ignore signs of cheating and just trust your spouse, just like I think it's unwise to immediately jump to conclusions.

Last edited by Bluestars; 01-11-2013 at 11:49 AM.
Bluestars is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:48 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

You Rated this Thread: