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Old 01-17-2013, 07:39 PM   #1
ebtbmom
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spin off, How do you know your kid will go to college?

With everyone talking about the money they've saved for college it got me wondering how confidant is everyone that the kid will want to go?

Don't get me wrong, I started DS off with the expectation of college, but if I'm completely honest I'm not sure it's going to happen. He is not one to push himself, on top of that he is mildly dyslexic. I'm not too stressed though because what he wants to study can be learned at a community college. Of course having his BS would advance him, but if he's not ready at graduation he could always start with community college and try the university when he's older.

I know no one knows for certain if their kid will go to college, I guess my question really is can you tell fairly early if college is for your kid or not?

We have no money saved by the way. We only have 1 kid though and we do all right (both RNs) so we're planning on paying off whatever loans he takes out.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:00 PM   #2
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Knew right away with our oldest. She's always been studious, even in pre-school. Youngest is in 2nd grade & her grades are VERY important to her. Grades were NEVER important to me and I wound up in the top 10 of my class. My kids have somehow managed to inherit my brains, and my wife's drive.

You never know - maybe they'll fall in with the bad crowd & never make it through HS. But, for now, we feel pretty good. Our accounts can be used for non-college expenses though should the worst happen.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:06 PM   #3
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Fortunately for our kids school has come easy. It is a good thing because we/ they are not handy or creative type people. So college is their ticket out of the house! Lol
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:07 PM   #4
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I don't for a minute believe every child should go to college. What I wanted for my child is for them to have the OPPORTUNITY if they wanted it and had the necessary ability. If they decided not to do college, money saved could be used for vocational school. If they didn't need that, I'd be happy to have whatever money I saved to be used for other purposes.

We always spoke of the possibilities, not in absolutes. What they decided was their decision. One is in college. The other is headed there next year.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:30 PM   #5
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With our oldest we had the savings but he never really had an interest in college. To him, high school was a place to go because that's where the girls were, and where he could play sports - classes themselves, he wasn't interested in. He's an outdoors type person, doesn't like to sit still, and the thought of sitting in an office would be torture for him. He currently works in the trades and is good at what he does and is happy as a clam. The savings is still there and if he ever shows interest in starting his own business it could be used for seed money. I guess I never thought of it as "college" money, but money for his future.
With my youngest, I think he'll go to college. He's fascinated with learning, has goals that would require a degree, and is self motivated to do well in class. I have savings for his future as well.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:33 PM   #6
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College was discussed in our home since my son was in elementary school. Luckily he is a serious student and knew from the 7th grade that he wanted to study computer science. He spent the next six years taking classes, attending college summer programs, learning independently, and taking on school leadership positions that utilized his tech skills.He is nowa soph in college studying comp sci!
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:36 PM   #7
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Our goal for our kids is to help them find what they're passionate about, and help them figure out a way to make a living doing it.

If traditional college is in that equation, great. If not, totally fine, if they're on a good road to where they want to be. If they're not on any road, then yes, I'd like them to go to college.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:40 PM   #8
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My kids are just 5 and almost 1. We have started 529 plans for both. It is our hope that they will want to continue their education. We talk about going to college and take DS 5 to college football games to show him what a campus is like.

He already says things like "when I go to college will I drive a car there?"

We will do our best to encourage but, there is no way to know how it will turn out.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:16 PM   #9
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I guess we always just included college in discussions about what happened after High School. I just assumed she would go and would be interested in it. She did toss the idea of not going around a few times during her senior year, but she didn't exactly have any alternative plans and she wanted a career in a field that requires a degree. So, she went and she loves college.

She is enjoying learning about things that interest her and the social aspect has really been her "thing."

If she hadn't gone to school, I would have given her the money we had saved (in a few years, when she was a bit more responsible) to start her life with.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:20 PM   #10
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:26 PM   #11
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:26 PM   #12
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My kids have always been raised with the expectation that they will go to college. There is no one of my generation or their generation (and they have 20+ cousins) who has not gone to college. Their current career plans are to be either a vet or an MD and a physical therapist or a pharmacist.

Of course, they are only in high school and junior high, so nothing is set in stone. I would support and pay for some other type of legitimate post-secondary training that would result in a skilled trade if they decided they wanted to be plumbers or electricians or auto mechanics or the like. I think that kind of training is valuable and can lead to some great careers.

But I wouldn't support not getting any additional education or training. If they want to take a year or two off before they go to college, fine. I think a year of working at a low-paying, dead end job is what some kids need to motivate them to move on.

Ultimately though, they are going to want to have a decent lifestyle, and for the vast majority of people, that includes additional education beyond high school.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:41 PM   #13
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Good question. I suppose it's no different than any other value system that parents try to instill in their children. Parents know their child has free will, but we raise them in our image and likeness. We assume they will follow in our faith footsteps, develop our work ethics, share our common loves, etc., and for many families, higher education is one of those components that is passed on to their children.

As with nearly every other value that a parent tried to instill in their child, however, I think the overwhelming majority of us then temper and adjust our expectations as our child grows and matures and develops their own identity, and we love them regardless of the path they eventually take, as long as they become good people in the process. Sometimes we see our dreams fade and sometimes we see them bolstered. Sometimes things happen that we never expected. As the expression goes, that is why we play the game.

For my family directly, our DD8 just assumes she will go to college and is currently, in her mind, choosing between some very good schools. Because of that, and because of what we know of her cognitive abilities, we also assume she will go to college. Our son, who is four years old but has some pretty major special needs, may or may not pursue higher education, but that decision will be for him (and us) to make after his life has unfolded a bit more.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:46 PM   #14
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I always joke that I'm saving college money for one girl, and bail money for the other.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:55 PM   #15
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I do not know if DS will go to college. I am hoping that he may do the junior/senior year college program at the local community college.

He is very smart, but stubborn, and if he does not like the class or the assignment, he just won't do it.

DH's goal is to open his own business eventually. He wants it to be a family business with DS also being a part of it (if he wants to). Something like a secondhand store, or a video game store, or something like that. Definitely used or used/new items.
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