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Old 01-05-2013, 10:03 PM   #16
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I'm also one of those who would NOT enjoy traveling with such a huge group... but I do think it would be hurtful for you not to go with them after they changed dates for you. It would be one thing if you didn't go at all b/c of money- but to go the next month just to save a few hundred would be hurtful to me if i had changed dates, etc.

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Planning our 3rd Disney trip! 1st was March-April 2012, Suite @ ASMu. 2nd was May 5-11 at Beach Club, and 3rd will be early May, Beach Club again!
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Old 01-06-2013, 12:11 AM   #17
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If they have not been given a firm yes from you, I would not be worried about offending them. In the first post, you said that you told them "they could save money" by going the other dates, not "we could save money". Plus, if they already have their airfare and you don't, they should not assume you are definitely going with them. I would do as another poster suggested and let them know you just got a great PIN in the mail and see what they say. I don't know why anyone would be offended by a good friend offering up a way to save them several hundred dollars. The worst they can say is "thanks but no thanks". If they don't want to switch, then make your decision on whether or not you want to join them. If they are truly your friends, they will understand. Good luck, and update us on the outcome.
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Old 01-06-2013, 12:37 AM   #18
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I would rather not go with friends anyway. I know that sounds awful, but there is A LOT to do at WDW and there are enough opinions / priorities/ attractions to get to between my kids and I alone. I don't want to have to use a morning of our trip watching someone else's kid have a meltdown or waiting all afternoon for Rockin Roller Coaster when none of my kids want to go on it. Maybe it is because I have three kids and a wide range of ages. It is already a lot to fit in already without needing to consider the desires of another family.

Now, don't I sound friendly?

If you are going to keep dilly-dallying and playing around with dates and prices though, you need to go ahead and give them a firm NO, so that they will know. It doesn't have to seem rude, just tell them it sounds fun but you are not able to commit to it at this time and they should go on with their plans without you.
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Old 01-06-2013, 12:02 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by d1sneyf4n View Post
Two of our neighbors but they are more like family have asked us to go to DW. They had booked a trip already(they are related ) and asked if we could come as well. I said we will see so I did some research on the cost and realized if they waited a week they would save 300-400 dollars. I told them and they changed their dates. I myself have a pincode for the following month which would be a 500-600 difference from when they are going. I never said yes to them but they seem to think we are by the way they talk about it. We all have kids the same age so I am sure while being crazy with a total 10 kids it would be fun. I am just not sure what to do. Knowing that if we wait we could save 500-600 dollars weighs heavily on me.
I get myself into situations like this sometimes too. Usually because I don't say NO soon enough and remain noncommittal, thinking I have time to make up my mind. I have found there are plenty of people who take that as consent and will forge ahead on plans. So I understand where you are coming from.

However, from your post, I will tell you what I think they are thinking, if that makes sense? Hope this helps you. Right or wrong assumption on their part, I think they assume you are interested in the trip, not just giving great advice about plans and $. Since they changed their dates and informed you of that, and you did not squash the notion then, they assume you are contentedly making plans to go. In fact, if you have not squashed "they seem to think we are by the way they talk about it," then I would guarantee that they think they moved their trip to accommodate you going with them and reaped the savings as a bonus.
Also they have booked travel and other arrangements for the trip. Have they been asking you about your travel arrangements for this trip? It seems like that would be the case. What do you say? No have not booked yet, or the more difficult discussion of No we are not sure we are going with you? If the latter, then no issue, tell them you are going later, and you should feel completely guilt free. and disregard what follows.

If not then it sounds like you changed your mind and are absolutely planning on going to Disney, but want to save $ AND you don't think the large group thing is going to work. So that is where the sticky wicket is, not saying no to the planned trip, but now saying No after arrangements are set AND going on your own later without them.

They will be miffed and disappointed that despite the planning you are going on your own. However, depending on how you approach it they should get over it. Something like, while it all sounds so fun and amazing we just can't do it at that time. I am glad you got the savings by pushing it a week, please enjoy your vacation. We will most likely go to Disney at a later date, just not sure of our plans yet and will not ask you to be held up by us. So I can watch your house, your dog, whatever you want to do to soften the blow...
I would leave the pincode and dates out of it, but yet make it completely about the schedule. If they then come back and say they want to push their trip back again then you need to either nip that in the bud and tell them this is your only family vacation or you don't think the group thing will work, or whatever excuse you think works. OR if you do want to go with them, it just really is about the $, then tell them great lets plan for xyz date because I just received a pin code that will cover all three rooms for those dates. But then you really do need to stick with those arrangements or risk the wrath of your friends.

Good luck with all of it, this kind of thing always makes me ill until I get it resolved. I would say figure out what you really want to do and then get the hard part over with as soon as you can.

Edited to say: Make sure you have not actually made plans if you tell them you have not, and make sure your kids know that you do not have anything else firm. Kids will dime you out in a second, particularly if they were excited to go with their friends.

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Last edited by cheshireqt; 01-06-2013 at 12:20 PM.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:00 PM   #20
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Wow, thank you all for the replies. I am still unsure of what to do. As far as them talking about it, it is more the husbands. They say things like you can't be doing that in Disney(my youngest was sick over Christmas and she was just not a happy camper. She would cry over everything so one husband would jokingly say that to her.) Another thing they say is if one of their kids are not listening, they say something like she will be in your group, of course joking.

I would hope they would all understand if we waited. I did have the pin code before hand but had not done anything with it prior to them asking. We were going to go to Disney using the pin code just had not picked a date(before school got out or after) They are teachers so July is best for them as I know Aug is when they start to do stuff for school. I should have said something at first that I had a pin code but me being me(quiet, very quiet) did not.

I would think they only changed their dates bc I told them they could save money but maybe I am wrong.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:52 PM   #21
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I think they are assuming you will go. They are talking about it like it's a known entity.

It sounds like you socialize quite a bit, since you refer to them as nearly as close as family.

If this were me, I'd throw a measly $500-600 bucks out the window and go to Disney with my dear ones. They changed plans at your suggestion, and then created the conclusion that you're going too. To go one month later would be a slap in their face.

At the end of the day, what is more important to you? Keeping the friendships going and creating memories for your children, or some money?
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Dec 2013: Contemporary
2014: 2 Non-Disney trips planned, going to wait and see how this whole FP+ thing shakes out.
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Old 01-08-2013, 03:58 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by babyrich View Post
I would just tell them you are waiting so you can save $$$... $500-600 is a lot and worth waiting for
Same here, that's a lot of savings. BUT since they did change their dates at your suggestion, I think you should go.
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