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Old 01-04-2013, 12:17 PM   #1
lyncecelia
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Inviting some Aunts/Uncles but not others?

So FH and I had a long talk the other night and decided that we might want to save some money and cut down our guest list. Our biggest dilemma is that we have some aunts and uncles we are really close to and others that don't seem to even care about us. We want to invite the ones we are close to, but not the others. My parents are okay with us doing this, but I'm worried about confrontation...

Thoughts?
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:26 PM   #2
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We did it. My husband has about a dozen aunts and uncles, and we only invited the ones he is closest to. If the others were miffed, none of them said anything about it. Frankly, I think they were relieved not to have to travel all the way to Florida for the wedding of a nephew they're not that close to.

Everyone got invited to the casual party we had when we got home.
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Old 01-04-2013, 01:09 PM   #3
kkbutterfly
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We did this as well. I had a few uncles that had never even met my fiance (we'd been dating for 7 years....) so they got cut off the list. Honestly, I feel it would have been awkward if there were there since everyone we invited was close to us. My aunt (my diseassed uncle's wife) asked me to invite her kids (at my grandmother's funeral - appropiate place to ask...) and I sort of mumbled something about sending an invite, but never invited them either (we're FB friends but I haven't seen them in 4 years and I wasn't a huge fan of their behavior at that same funeral - dispite the fact they're all in college and should have known better). At the end of the day, she dropped a gift off with my mom and didn't seem bitter. My mom said she didn't care who I invited so that made me feel better.
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Old 01-04-2013, 01:24 PM   #4
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At first, we were just going to pick and choose aunts and uncles (both of my parents have 8 brothers/sisters each). I started to think about the fact that I would see these people every Thanksgiving/Christmas and wussed out and invited them anyways. Only two groups ended up coming that I'm not close to (mainly because their kids came) and said very little, if anything, to us the whole wedding day. I'm glad I invited them because I know some would be vocally passive aggressive whenever I saw them and that takes it off the table. If I didn't have to see them at holidays or large family get-togethers, I probably would have stuck with our original plan.

We are having an at-home reception in a few months and will be inviting everyone to that. Our wedding in FL was really for immediate and most of our extended families.
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Last edited by NeverlandClub23; 01-04-2013 at 02:20 PM. Reason: ETA: At-Home Reception
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Old 01-04-2013, 01:44 PM   #5
xAshleyx
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We are in the same situation. Only a handful of our aunts and uncles talk to us on a weekly basis. IMO, if you aren't an active part of our relationship than you don't need to be at my wedding. I have a feeling some feelings may be hurt when I mail out invites but ultimately they need to understand. We are having a combination shower/at home celebration in July before our October wedding and I plan on inviting the others to that. To still include everyone in the plans I'm only sending "save the dates" to the 30-40 people we are inviting to disney. And sending "engagement announcements to the rest"
I think this a fair way to include everyone and keep my guest list under control
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:26 PM   #6
princesswendy720
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We didn't invite two aunts on my dad's side but we haven't seen or spoken to them in 10+ years (long story).
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:48 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xAshleyx View Post
We are in the same situation. Only a handful of our aunts and uncles talk to us on a weekly basis. IMO, if you aren't an active part of our relationship than you don't need to be at my wedding. I have a feeling some feelings may be hurt when I mail out invites but ultimately they need to understand. We are having a combination shower/at home celebration in July before our October wedding and I plan on inviting the others to that. To still include everyone in the plans I'm only sending "save the dates" to the 30-40 people we are inviting to disney. And sending "engagement announcements to the rest"
I think this a fair way to include everyone and keep my guest list under control
I think you might be better off just not inviting them at all. People understand that you can't invite everyone to a wedding. It is generally considered inappropriate to invite anyone to a shower that is not invited to the wedding. If i received an shower/celebration invite or an engagement announcement but not a wedding invitation, I would be offended. If i was not invited at all, I understand. Just one opinion.
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