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Old 12-30-2012, 04:53 PM   #1
mmackeymouse
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Christmas Exchange- am I being silly?

Our family did a Secret Santa gift exchange this year. The limit was $50.

I would first and foremost say, I love giving gifts. The most exciting part of Christmas to me is giving gifts. I also am not super greedy about receiving gifts. It is the thought that counts. For example, in the work gift exchange this year, I was given a USED kitchen gadget. New, it was worth our designated amount, but it was used. I like the gadget, and plan to keep it, but the idea that my co-worker put no thought into my gift and gave me something that was sitting around her kitchen bothers me.

Back to the family gift exchange. They had a Christmas list for me. For my Aunt, I bought a kitchen device worth $50, but I got it at a discounted price, so I bought a couple of little extra things too. I felt that was the right thing to do. Yes, I could have just bought the one thing, and it would have fulfilled the $50 expectation, but for me, it just means more to go above and beyond that.

When it came to my present, I received only one gift, which was fine. It was a Dvd. Full price, it is worth about $50, but it is never the full price. On Black Friday, it was $9.99. You can get it on Amazon for $30 regularly, sometimes less. At Best Buy, right now, it is $15. I feel a little jipped. I feel as if my cousin would have planned, he would have been able to get the DVD for much less than the $50, plus some other things on my list. Or, maybe he did not do the shopping until last minute and just walked into a store and bought it at full price. I am not saying he didn't spend the full $50.....he very well may have. I guess I am just hurt, because like I said, it's the thought that counts, and had it been me, I would have gotten the Dvd at the lowest price possible so that I could get other things for my recipient. Either he spent less than $50 or he just didn't even try to get the most out of his $50 that he could have.

Am I being silly or unreasonable?
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:00 PM   #2
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I don't think so at all, it's this happened to us too many times. I was happy when the families decided to just do away with exchanges.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:01 PM   #3
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Yes, you are being both.

I sort of understand it because I am a "deal" shopper. And when I give gifts, if I have a set amount, I like to give the most bang for my buck. So, like you, I would have shopped for the DVD at the lowest price and probably gotten you something else. But, you did get a gift that, at full price, was valued at that. When you break it all down--it's not about the money spent or the need to spend up to that amount. He got you something you wanted and if he indeed paid full price, he played by the rules.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:03 PM   #4
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Maybe a little silly. Remember not everyone LOVES buying gifts. I know for me it is a downright hassle. Some people aren't bargain savvy shoppers and some are. Some people are only concerned about fulfilling their end of the bargain not going above and beyond. Everyone is different. I got a lame Christmas photo album. Ha! Like I print pictures out.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:06 PM   #5
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Yup both silly and unreasonable. You say it's the thought that counts, you got something you wanted, something off the list you made, but you still aren't happy. You wanted him to get you more. That sounds unreasonable in my book.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:07 PM   #6
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I also would like to add to my above post because I don't want you to think you are truly "silly and unreasonable." Your feelings are valid.

Like you, I'm a pretty savvy shopper and I enjoy it. I get a lot for my money. Some people absolutely do not. It does bother me at gift giving time when my kids or parents buy me a gift and I *know* they've overpaid for it. They just run out and get things. I cringe a little inside and have come close to telling them not to shop for me because I just can't stand it. For instance, it bugs me if someone just goes out and pays for price for a book for me, when I know they could get it cheaper through Amazon. But, I've really tried to just sit back, shut up, and accept the gift gratefully without telling them how to shop better.

I realize you're not doing that, but you ARE thinking about what poor shoppers/gift givers they are. Just stop and enjoy the gift!
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:09 PM   #7
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The greatest Christmas gift was not bought, and was priceless.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:11 PM   #8
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So, he got you something that you put on your list that, at full value, is exactly what the exchange price limit was, and you're still upset? OK, I'll go with silly and unreasonable.

Unless, of course, there was a stipulation that each shopper was required to hunt down the lowest prices between when they received their person's list and Christmas to ensure that they got the most items on the list that $50 could buy.

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Old 12-30-2012, 05:15 PM   #9
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All the threads about gifts has made me SO glad I am not in any exchange of any sort.

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Old 12-30-2012, 05:18 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlightlessDuck View Post
The greatest Christmas gift was not bought, and was priceless.
How'd you know my youngest DD gave me a handmade ornament?

To the OP, yes, you're being unreasonable. I won't comment on the "silly".

Whatever happened to "it's the thought that counts"? Wasn't the MAXIMUM listed as $50? That doesn't mean someone has to or even should spend that. It's the top limit.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:18 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmackeymouse View Post
Our family did a Secret Santa gift exchange this year. The limit was $50.

I would first and foremost say, I love giving gifts. The most exciting part of Christmas to me is giving gifts. I also am not super greedy about receiving gifts. It is the thought that counts. For example, in the work gift exchange this year, I was given a USED kitchen gadget. New, it was worth our designated amount, but it was used. I like the gadget, and plan to keep it, but the idea that my co-worker put no thought into my gift and gave me something that was sitting around her kitchen bothers me.

Back to the family gift exchange. They had a Christmas list for me. For my Aunt, I bought a kitchen device worth $50, but I got it at a discounted price, so I bought a couple of little extra things too. I felt that was the right thing to do. Yes, I could have just bought the one thing, and it would have fulfilled the $50 expectation, but for me, it just means more to go above and beyond that.

When it came to my present, I received only one gift, which was fine. It was a Dvd. Full price, it is worth about $50, but it is never the full price. On Black Friday, it was $9.99. You can get it on Amazon for $30 regularly, sometimes less. At Best Buy, right now, it is $15. I feel a little jipped. I feel as if my cousin would have planned, he would have been able to get the DVD for much less than the $50, plus some other things on my list. Or, maybe he did not do the shopping until last minute and just walked into a store and bought it at full price. I am not saying he didn't spend the full $50.....he very well may have. I guess I am just hurt, because like I said, it's the thought that counts, and had it been me, I would have gotten the Dvd at the lowest price possible so that I could get other things for my recipient. Either he spent less than $50 or he just didn't even try to get the most out of his $50 that he could have.

Am I being silly or unreasonable?
You could be like the family member that I posted about in another thread and ask for the original receipt.

As a bargain shopper myself, I understand where you're coming from. We also have a limit and I always try to get something at a great deal so that I can get more items on their list. Not everyone is that way. Maybe your cousin paid full price.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:20 PM   #12
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To me an exchange with a $50 limit means a person shouldn't spend more than $50, not that they have to spend $50. (which IMO seems like an awfully high $ amount when considering not everyone has the same type of budget). Sorry OP, I vote for silly and unreasonable, you got a gift that was on your list. Being upset because you could have gotten more, well I cant say what I think that really is without racking up some points
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:20 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmackeymouse View Post
Our family did a Secret Santa gift exchange this year. The limit was $50.

I would first and foremost say, I love giving gifts. The most exciting part of Christmas to me is giving gifts. I also am not super greedy about receiving gifts. It is the thought that counts. For example, in the work gift exchange this year, I was given a USED kitchen gadget. New, it was worth our designated amount, but it was used. I like the gadget, and plan to keep it, but the idea that my co-worker put no thought into my gift and gave me something that was sitting around her kitchen bothers me.

Back to the family gift exchange. They had a Christmas list for me. For my Aunt, I bought a kitchen device worth $50, but I got it at a discounted price, so I bought a couple of little extra things too. I felt that was the right thing to do. Yes, I could have just bought the one thing, and it would have fulfilled the $50 expectation, but for me, it just means more to go above and beyond that.

When it came to my present, I received only one gift, which was fine. It was a Dvd. Full price, it is worth about $50, but it is never the full price. On Black Friday, it was $9.99. You can get it on Amazon for $30 regularly, sometimes less. At Best Buy, right now, it is $15. I feel a little jipped. I feel as if my cousin would have planned, he would have been able to get the DVD for much less than the $50, plus some other things on my list. Or, maybe he did not do the shopping until last minute and just walked into a store and bought it at full price. I am not saying he didn't spend the full $50.....he very well may have. I guess I am just hurt, because like I said, it's the thought that counts, and had it been me, I would have gotten the Dvd at the lowest price possible so that I could get other things for my recipient. Either he spent less than $50 or he just didn't even try to get the most out of his $50 that he could have.

Am I being silly or unreasonable?
If you are feeling jipped it's because your cousin is not as savvy of a shopper as you are. Tell your cousin there is something wrong with the CD (there is he paid more for it than you would have) and have him give you the receipt. Take it back and rebuy it at Best Buy for the $15 and then spend the remainder on other items that will make you feel less jipped.

If receiving a gift thats value is what it should be for the exchange but you watch prices so know it can be gotten for less bothers you, you might want to bow out of gift exchanges in the future.

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Old 12-30-2012, 05:21 PM   #14
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Yup both silly and unreasonable. You say it's the thought that counts, you got something you wanted, something off the list you made, but you still aren't happy. You wanted him to get you more. That sounds unreasonable in my book.
I don't mean to seem ungrateful.

I guess, I just wish more effort was put into my present, that's all. If he would have went out and got me $25 worth of gifts, but each gift had a designated reason and purpose to it, I would be over the moon. Two years ago, he got my mom a sweatshirt that was not on her list, but he saw it and "thought of her." To me, that is just the best kind of gift.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine View Post
I also would like to add to my above post because I don't want you to think you are truly "silly and unreasonable." Your feelings are valid.

Like you, I'm a pretty savvy shopper and I enjoy it. I get a lot for my money. Some people absolutely do not. It does bother me at gift giving time when my kids or parents buy me a gift and I *know* they've overpaid for it. They just run out and get things. I cringe a little inside and have come close to telling them not to shop for me because I just can't stand it. For instance, it bugs me if someone just goes out and pays for price for a book for me, when I know they could get it cheaper through Amazon. But, I've really tried to just sit back, shut up, and accept the gift gratefully without telling them how to shop better.
The thing is, his parents are just like you and me when it comes to shopping. They go through ads on a weekly basis, if not more often. They scour the internet for deals. Everyone else in my family and everyone else in their family got lots of gifts during the exchange because everyone really tried. Everyone maximized their budget, and in some cases, probably exceeded their budget by a smidgen. (I went $3 over)

I am grateful for the present, I really am, but I still wonder if he spent less or just didn't start shopping till the day before. I am an awful person.
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Old 12-30-2012, 05:21 PM   #15
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I totally get where you're coming from, I love shopping for Christmas gifts (well, most of them). BUT the biggest thing that popped out at me while reading your post, is that the cousin who bought you the DVD is a "HE." Personally, I don't know one guy who is "into" buying gifts, at Christmas or any other time of the year. He probably paid $50 for the gift and thought, "that's another one off my list." It's a "men are from mars, women are from venus" kind of thing.

Don't be upset...just remember that in the future, if you get a bargain for a gift exchange, don't go out of your way to add more things to get closer to the agreed upon dollar figure.
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