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Old 12-15-2012, 05:18 PM   #1
PoSh HuNnY
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Destination wedding vs at home wedding?!?!?!

Did anyone seriously struggle with deciding on what to do? Destination or at-home? I'm torn b/c I know off hand several people who would not be able to attend a destination wedding. Not only that, I know several of those who would be able to attend but would not be able to then afford a gift on top of it. I don't mean for this to come across the wrong way, but oftentimes when young people are getting married & starting out, wedding gifts help out a great deal. It is only now that I'm discovering this...a few close friends have told me that they were able to afford a house so quicky after getting married b/c of their wedding gifts... my fiancé & I always wondered how they afforded houses when we couldn't figure it out, even knowing we made more income than them! So, my question here ultimately is...have any of you regretted having a destination wedding or have any of you who had an at-home wedding wished you had a destination wedding?
Ultimately, Disney is my dream, but also, when push comes to shove at the end of the day, I don't know that I can necessarily afford to shell out 20-25k at this point and not get much of it back
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Old 12-15-2012, 05:41 PM   #2
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For me there was no other option than a destination wedding. None of my family is located next to each other, and so there would be traveling no matter where we had it. So we decided it should be some place fun and make it a great vacation destination. I knew the people I wanted to be there, would make it happen, and frankly there are people that I would "have" to invite, that I knew wouldn't make the trip, so that was a plus.

I can't speak about the gifts, we have not gotten married yet, and aren't too concerned with them. That being said, I don't think you have to spend 20-25k on getting married in Disney. Have you looked at the Swan and Dolphin? We are getting everything we want, for around 10k. Again, we haven't gotten married yet, and we are still 9 months out, but that is the budget and I think we will be very comfortable at that number.
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Old 12-15-2012, 06:12 PM   #3
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a lot of people choose to go destination because of the price difference. you can manage a fabulus disney wedding sticking to the 12k minimum.

therefore you would be saving a lot of money there, so you wouldn't necessarily require gifts. for us, it's more important that the people we want to be there are there with us, and we are getting married where we want to, not because of the convenience and receiving gifts.

you would probably spend the same, if not more at an at home wedding, and if disney is you 'dream' then surely you wouldn't want to 'settle' for an at home wedding just for some things for your kitchen?
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Old 12-15-2012, 07:51 PM   #4
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I know..exactly. A wedding in my area (NY/NJ) most likely would not be less than 40k & believe me, people even spend more than that. Just food alone can be $200-$350 per person Fri-Sun!!
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Old 12-15-2012, 07:54 PM   #5
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Sarah.. I do agree. I would prefer to stay in 12k-15k mark that wishes weddings require besides the 20k on sat. So,
I'm thinking a thurs, Fri or Sunday wedding. If we kept our minimum our budget, we'd be ok. How many people are attending your wedding?
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:45 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoSh HuNnY View Post
Sarah.. I do agree. I would prefer to stay in 12k-15k mark that wishes weddings require besides the 20k on sat. So,
I'm thinking a thurs, Fri or Sunday wedding. If we kept our minimum our budget, we'd be ok. How many people are attending your wedding?
We are inviting 75, I am guessing we will have around 50. But I haven't sent out invites yet. Ours will be on a Sunday. We are getting married at the S/D and then we are going to the GF for a dessert party.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:17 PM   #7
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I struggled as well and ultimately decided to have an at-home wedding because of it (But I had a Disney themed wedding!). There were a few reasons why I chose this.

1. I could save money. I had my wedding on Long Island and for 10k managed to have a wedding with 85 guests. It's possible if you're willing to look for bargains and not have the "best of the best" of everything.
2. There were people that it was very important to have there, that just couldn't travel (like older relatives).

I would never change what I did. Our at-home wedding was amazing, and the thing that I discovered was that for me, the day was so much more about the people than about the destination, the decor, or anything. I couldn't have paid for all of those people at a Disney wedding. We were also just starting out and while the gifts helped, saving money on the wedding was an even bigger help.

So it's really all about you and your situation... I know a lot of great girls on here who had amazing Disney weddings at reasonable prices. I think the majority of people here did get married at Disney so I figured I would share my situation, since I know it's a little different. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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Old 12-19-2012, 12:25 PM   #8
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Consider having a Swan & Dolphin Disney wedding. I'm having 54 guests and spending $10k for everything but our honeymoon and my dress.
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Old 12-19-2012, 02:43 PM   #9
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My fiance and I have decided to do an at-home Disney wedding. The idea of having a wedding at Disney came up, but only very briefly. I can't fathom spending that much money on a wedding in the first place, plus you have a limited amount of guests that can come, travel expense, hotel...sounded like a nightmare to me with MY family.

We chose to do our wedding at home. We're actually having it right down the road from my fiance's parents house.

We're keeping it right at or under $3,000-$4,000 and hoping to have between 100-150 guests.

We've already gotten the dress and ALL the accessories (except hair/makeup), which was $1,400.

Our church will be about $500 for the day (ceremony/reception, with all our tables and glassware included).

We're doing a 1 or 2pm wedding and serving light finger foods and deserts. We might have them catered...or we might make them ourselves...we haven't decided yet.

iPod > DJ/Band A lot of it will be DIY...etc. We have extra decorations (in our color!) from my fiance's cousin's wedding. We're going to make our own bouquets (we're thinking of using fake flowers, so we can keep them forever!)

Then we're going on our Disneymoon!

We definitely wanted to keep our wedding as cost-friendly as possible. We are hoping to buy my fiance's great grandfather's old house and land, so we wanted to put the majority of our money towards that. Being able to have a lot of our family come to the shower/wedding will also mean we have much less money to have to put towards small things, such towels, dinnerware, small appliances, etc. Plus, I'd much rather have my whole family and my fiance's whole family be able to come than have the wedding at Disney.
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Old 12-19-2012, 04:57 PM   #10
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DF and I opted to have a Disney wedding. I had never imagined a wedding anywhere other than Disney, as it is my favorite place in the world. DF has now been converted to a Disney addict. Most of our family has told us point blank they wouldn't come, which upset me at first, but now I am kind of grateful. My dad's side of the family is HUGE and they are drama! Since our guest count is low, we decided on the escape package, and are limiting it our immediate family.
I am so happy with this because I will avoid all the drama that came with my brother's wedding. Plus, I am still getting my dream wedding in Disney and spending less than I planned on!!
Good luck on making your decision. I'm sure your wedding will be magical no matter where you decide to have it!
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Old 12-20-2012, 07:11 PM   #11
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librarygeek...do you have pictures from your wedding? I'm interested to see what you did with the theme!

I also would have a lot of people who wouldn't make it & that's becoming the biggest issue...we are going to look at 4 places nearby next week!
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:03 PM   #12
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This was one of my biggest struggles... Of course we were married almost 11 years ago, but some things never change.

I was SO close to not doing a Disney wedding and doing a home wedding instead. Partially because I am catholic (and the whole its not really a wedding outside a catholic church), but also we had a few that said they couldn't come and a few that ended up not being able to come.

It depends on who it is, and how important it is that you are there.

It also depends on how important a Disney wedding is to you. For me, 11 years later it is one decision I am SO GLAD I made. I did it the way I wanted to, and yes we had to live in an apartment for two years, because we didn't get that many gifts, but I am still glad we did it.

You have to think, 5, 10 years from now looking back are you going to regret your decision?

Yes I know its just a day, and IT IS more important that you are marrying the right person, but the way I look at it life is just a collection of moments. Those moments, especially the amazing ones like the day you are married are ones you will remember forever. Don't sacrifice, do what you want and make memories that you will treasure forever.

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Old 01-05-2013, 12:32 AM   #13
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jlovesee...that's my biggest thing- i don't want to regret that I didn't have a DW..even if it's only our parents & siblings...we may just do that & have a reception when we get home!
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