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Old 12-16-2012, 04:06 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by 100%Disney View Post
My son is a senior in high school, he is 19 due to repeating a grade. He was in gym class a few days ago, playing basketball. Another boy shot a ball and it rebounded off the hoop, hitting a girl on top of the head. All the kids laughed, which I don't think was appropriate, including my son. The girl came after my son accusing him of hitting her with the ball. He denied hitting her and tried to walk away. She pursued him and shoved him against the wall and proceeded to grab his testicles and squeeze as hard as she could. He tried to push her off and the both tripped, falling to the floor. He tried to get up and she bit him, hard on the ribs. it broke the skin and he is still bruised and you can see the individual teeth marks 3 days later. He was able to get away and told he told her to back off.

He didn't tell us until late that night. He didn't report it at school either. His school has a zero tolerance policy and he was scared to get suspended, even though he didn't retaliate. His school also has quite a bullying/gang problem. He told me their saying is, "Snitches get stitches."

We went to the school the next morning and reported the whole incident to the assistant principal, the principal was in a meeting. He listened to my son's explanation and took pictures of the bite. He said he would need to question the girl and all the students in the class, because the substitute teacher had left the class unattended.

He questioned the girl, who said they were just playing. He told her that she was obviously not telling the truth and sent her back to class. He then questioned the other students. They all said my son did nothing other than try to get away from her. A few said it looked as if he had her in a head lock, but they couldn't really tell. My son was asked to tell the story again and was asked if he put her in a head lock. He said that he hadn't, that he was just hunched over trying to keep her from hurting his testicles any worse.

He was called in again today and asked to repeat the story to the principal. He told him the same things. The principal then says that they are in a touchy situation because the girl is 15 and there was no adult there.

I am really angry. It isn't my son's fault that he was assaulted or that the teacher wasn't there. I'm mad that the teacher left thirty kids alone in gym class. My son shouldn't have to be afraid of retaliation from other students, the school, or this girl's family if they decide they want to file a warrant on him as a grudge. I really don't care about her age, although the law will, she attacked him.

What should I do? Should I take a juvenile petition out on this girl? She was suspended for 5 days. Should I speak with an attorney? I will, money is tight, but I will do what's necessary. I'm sorry this is so long, just need some advice.
How can anyone say she was being attacked when he wasn't near her? From the way I understand it, the ball hit her from a distance, and she ran to the boy and attatcked him.
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Old 12-16-2012, 04:51 AM   #77
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How can anyone say she was being attacked when he wasn't near her? From the way I understand it, the ball hit her from a distance, and she ran to the boy and attatcked him.
Because when a woman or girl attacks a male there is always an excuse. Look at posts on this boards where wives talk about smacking their spouses when I mentioned it I was told that sort of thing was a love tap not domestic violence. While we have this double standard male hitting female bad, female hitting male must be an excuse watch this
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks
About 2.40 minutes they show a woman passing the woman on male violence waving her arms and they asked her what her thoughts where, her response on seeing the woman attack the man? Way to go girl he must hav deserved it. Until that reaction is changed people's views on female on male attacks will not change.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:46 AM   #78
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I would let your son tell you what he feels he wants to do. I would certainly think a police report would be called for. I am not sure what a lawyer is going to do for you. But a police report will make sure they are aware of this, it may not be the 1st time. .. and if it is aware if there is a second time.

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Old 12-16-2012, 06:47 AM   #79
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I would suggest getting a soliciter to contact the school rather that yourself, its amazing how a legal professional bing involved makes people sit up and follow policy.
I hope your son is OK
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:57 AM   #80
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I agree with the posters about filing a police report. Documentation is key to keeping this thing from turning around on your son. That's the last thing you want to happen. IMO, it would be insurance and could save you from a long drawn out and costly process if the girl decided to turn the tide.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:34 AM   #81
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Nothing more was said Friday, but she was at school. I asked him if they suspended her and he said the principal had said she was suspended the day before. He doesn't know why she was at school. I guess I'm going to need to make a second trip to the school on Monday. I really don't think they want to do anything to her due to her star basketball status.

In NC you can't just file a report on sexual assault and not press charges. The DA would get the report and probably take out a juvenile petition on her. But it wouldn't follow her even if she were charged because juvenile records are sealed. The suspension would be more damaging as it would be on her high school transcript and any college could investigate it.

I'm just angry about them giving him the third degree and doing nothing further to her.
I'm going to make a wild leap and guess there was a basketball game that night.
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Old 12-16-2012, 09:04 AM   #82
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Nothing more was said Friday, but she was at school. I asked him if they suspended her and he said the principal had said she was suspended the day before. He doesn't know why she was at school. I guess I'm going to need to make a second trip to the school on Monday. I really don't think they want to do anything to her due to her star basketball status.

In NC you can't just file a report on sexual assault and not press charges. The DA would get the report and probably take out a juvenile petition on her. But it wouldn't follow her even if she were charged because juvenile records are sealed. The suspension would be more damaging as it would be on her high school transcript and any college could investigate it.

I'm just angry about them giving him the third degree and doing nothing further to her.
Just curious as to why you need to make a special trip to the school? They can't discuss the girl's punishment with you, and according to your ds she was suspended. I realize you don't feel its enough (and I totally agree), but if they already "punished" her I don't think you going to the school is going to anything.
File an incident report with the police so it is on record. There really isn't much more you can do except tell your ds to avoid her. If something happens, he needs to report it to the Principal immediately.

FTR, I think its awful that she is getting off with basically a slap on the wrist. If your ds had done what she did, he'd be expelled and have charges brought against him.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:49 AM   #83
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They had a substitute teacher and she left the class to go to the office, which I have a problem with. If she had been there he probably wouldn't have been assaulted.

My son was taught to never hit girls. He is almost 6 feet tall and 175lbs. He just tried to get her off of him and he sustained injuries because of it.

I understand school is almost over for him, but he deserves to be treated with respect.

The day after the incident, after the assistant pricipal let the girl know she was in pretty big trouble for biting my son, she told my son that he had hit her and split the inside of her lip. I find that interesting, considering she had just told the assistant principal that nothing happened and they were just playing around. If her lip was split, I'm sure she probably did it to herself while biting him. She also said that her whole lip had been swollen the night before and that her dad was super angry, wanting to come to the school and confront my son. I just don't trust them to let this all drop with her suspension. She is a varsity basketball player and this could hurt her being on the team.

My son still worries that he will get suspended because he thinks the principal is afraid of people thinking he's biased in this situation. I think it is all crap. My son was hurt. She obviously has anger management issues, even her basketball friends approached my son and told him she's a loose cannon.

He just wants to get through the year. He plans to join the navy and he worries how this could affect him.
I would absolutely talk to a lawyer and find out what they advise. Since the principal is the one who brought up the age and said it could get touchy, I would be worried. That means they are already considering that angle. I would also ask that your son's gym period be switched for next semester. I would let the school know about the threat of the dad confronting your son. What if he does it at school? They need to be prepared. And given everything going on (the talk of her being 15, the threat about the dad, etc.) I would seriously consider filing a police report. That way there is a record in advance. Basically this girl has committed battery, sexual assault, and made threats again your son.

Depending on how far you want to take it, you may want to consider talking to the principal or superintendent about whether or not they filed a report as they requierd by law to do. That's the thing with mandatory reporting laws, they look good on the books, but if the administration doesn't follow the law they do no good. People have to be willing to speak up and let the mknow there will be consequences for ignoring the law. But I understand that nobody wants it to be their kid with the target on their back.
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:02 AM   #84
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And, Sam, sorry if you are not getting it... But, clearly you aren't
umm, obviously I'm not because no one can explain how filing a report "protects him". "Because it does" might work as a reason for kids, but it doesn't for me.

What happens if he DOESN'T file a report with police? Then she files a report and what happens?
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:06 AM   #85
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umm, obviously I'm not because no one can explain how filing a report "protects him". "Because it does" might work as a reason for kids, but it doesn't for me.

What happens if he DOESN'T file a report with police? Then she files a report and what happens?
They investigate the incident with the belief that he was the one who committed the assault. That can't possibly work in his favor.
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:10 AM   #86
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There will be a paper trail of what HE claims happened (I'm not saying this is made up). Does whoever file first get the benefit of the doubt? From a LEGAL standpoint, I still don't get how filing "protects him".

Let's say he doesn't file. The girl files a report claiming he assaulted her. Before they do anything, wouldn't they investigate?

Sorry, just not getting it.
Yes, they often do. If a 15 year old girl goes to the police with a sob story about she was assaulted by a 19 year old, the police will be very sympathetic to her and it may very well taint the rest of the investigation. He should go on record first and should add the sexual assault complaint as well.
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:25 AM   #87
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Just curious as to why you need to make a special trip to the school? They can't discuss the girl's punishment with you, and according to your ds she was suspended. I realize you don't feel its enough (and I totally agree), but if they already "punished" her I don't think you going to the school is going to anything.
File an incident report with the police so it is on record. There really isn't much more you can do except tell your ds to avoid her. If something happens, he needs to report it to the Principal immediately.

FTR, I think its awful that she is getting off with basically a slap on the wrist. If your ds had done what she did, he'd be expelled and have charges brought against him.
I am making another trip to the school because my son was told that she was suspended as of Thursday, but she was at school Friday.

I spoke with a family friend, who subs at the school, she said this is not the first girl at that school to attack a boy by grabbing his testicles. She told me the other girl was expelled from that school and now attends the alternative school. She suggested talking to the main principal and if I feel as though I'm getting the run around, contact the school board. She has contacted the school board on 2 students there and they no longer attend the school.

My son was told that this isn't this girl's first assault offense at the school. The assistant principal said she had been suspended before.
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:42 AM   #88
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umm, obviously I'm not because no one can explain how filing a report "protects him". "Because it does" might work as a reason for kids, but it doesn't for me.

What happens if he DOESN'T file a report with police? Then she files a report and what happens?
I don't think filing a police report would protect him should her family try to file charges, but it would certainly protect him should the school or the girl's family try and make him the aggressor. It would be much harder for the school to "make it all go away" by expelling or suspending him if there's a police report filed, and would look much better for the boy and the OP's family if it were filed right away rather than after the school or her family tried to take action.

OP, I would file a report, I would also talk to the principal about the actions that he's taking to protect your son from retaliation and how he's treating the threat by the girl about her father. At the very least she should be transferred into another gym class. Don't move him, he didn't do anything. If the principal continues to blow it off, then you'll have to determine what you want to do from there, see about transferring to another school, early graduation, taking the issue up the chain to the school board, or just riding it out and see if it blows over and the psychopathic 15 year old finds another target for her innapropriate actions.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:19 PM   #89
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I am making another trip to the school because my son was told that she was suspended as of Thursday, but she was at school Friday.
HAVE YOUR SON GO TO THE POLICE!!!!

The school, obviously will do nothing, except for cover their own liability.

Your son is an ADULT... You have absolutely NO leverage here, at all, PERIOD.
To much involvement on 'mommies' part can not help, and might only serve to complicate matters.

Please listen to those of us here, and get your son down to the police station to file a report, like yesterday....

It does not HAVE to be filed as a sexual assault.
At this time, if you have to only go with 'Assault', then do it.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:29 PM   #90
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I'd be really mad too! She did get a 5 day suspension though and I think I'd leave it at that regarding further dealings with her. I might ask the principal to be sure to instruct the gym teacher and any other teacher in the school NOT to leave a class unattended. Teachers in our schools are not allowed to leave classes unattended. They send a responsible student to the office to ask for assistance IF they absolutely have to leave the room. In this case, the teachers negligence caused your son to get assaulted. The principal will not tell you if he's disciplined the teacher but you can ask him to guarantee he's made the teacher aware and requested that they not leave the classroom.
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