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Old 12-14-2012, 08:54 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by 100%Disney View Post
He was told, this morning, to call me if the principal calls him to the office again.

Good!
He should say not one further word...
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:55 AM   #47
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Thank you for your comments. It bothers me that, because he's a boy, it was acceptable to some people. I agree that had he been attacking her, she had every right to hurt him. Just because he is a boy, doesn't make it less humiliating for him to have her grab his testicles in a class full of other students. The long term damage she could have caused him is what bothers me most.
It is a double standard and I truly feel for your son. We have had a young lady go "off" on our son and he stood there and took it. He was raised never to lay an angry hand on anyone. It was humiliating for him. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to fight back and he wanted to walk away. Society still looks at a man and or young man as a "wuss" if he doesn't fight back. (not sure if the word if Dis okay, sorry mods if not).

When a man claims abuse he is always questioned as if it does not happen but in reality it is a real problem that is more prominent than people want to believe.

I am still hoping for the correct outcome for you and your son. He deserves it.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:02 AM   #48
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Yes, your concerns are justified. I would be worried too. But I think escalating it would just make things worse (no matter how deserving it is). If the girl just started her suspension, you should be pretty close to Christmas break by the time she returns. Hopefully things will cool down when they return next year.
I agree, escalating it could make it worse for him. You have a record with the school and with the doctor in case she tries something else. Hopefully you took pictures of the marks. I would see where it goes before doing more.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:10 AM   #49
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I am off school today on a sick day, and this caught my attention.

Both students broke that law as they got into a physical altercation. In the OP's son's case, it was self defense, but the problem is that no teacher was present to witness that, so we would definitely be concerned with the physical injuries that the OP's son endured at the hands of this girl. And by the way, I truly believe that if a boy had done this, there would be a different response from the school, as well as some posters on here.

I don't leave my students alone. They are supervised at all breaks, before and after school and during lunch where they play basketball in the gym.

In our school district, this girl would have been suspended for more than 5 days and. she would have been sent to a special program.
I am sorry that the school is not handling this very well, and as a parent, I would be very concerned.

Good luck OP with working through this situation, Tiger

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Old 12-14-2012, 09:12 AM   #50
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Didn't read all the responses. But all I can say is Wow! I'd be just as concern and then some OP. IMO do whatever it takes to make sure DS is covered and safe. This child is for sure a ticking time bomb. Something is really wrong with her. Hope all works out for you and your family.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:43 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by Bren's Mom View Post
I'm still trying to figure out how a 15yo and a 19yo end up in the same gym class.

OP, I hope it works out for your son.
In our local high school, gym class is not separated by grades. The class is a mix of both boys and girls from 9th to 12th grade. Students are assigned to gym class based on when there is an available opening in their schedule (gym class is the last one scheduled here after all other academic and elective courses, it's offered every period of every day) I don't see how it's that hard to understand.

ETA: Your son is very lucky that he didn't get suspended. In our local high school, there is a zero tolerance policy for fighting (I disagree with it, but thats a different subject). In ANY fight or altercation like this, ALL students involved are automatically suspended. It keeps ther kids from jumping in a fight to help, and it eliminates the school as a judge trying to determine who started the fight and why. Unfortunately, it punishes the innocent at times. Last year one of my daughter's friends was sitting at lunch eating lunch with some of her friends and she got jumped from behind (and injured) and she was suspended along with the girl who jumped her, in spite of numerous witnesses that she didn't even see the girl coming at her until it was too late. For this reason I have always told my daughter that if someone starts a fight with her, since she's going to get suspended anyway, she might as well defend herself.

Last edited by scrapquitler; 12-14-2012 at 09:49 AM.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:32 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scrapquitler View Post
In our local high school, gym class is not separated by grades. The class is a mix of both boys and girls from 9th to 12th grade. Students are assigned to gym class based on when there is an available opening in their schedule (gym class is the last one scheduled here after all other academic and elective courses, it's offered every period of every day) I don't see how it's that hard to understand.

ETA: Your son is very lucky that he didn't get suspended. In our local high school, there is a zero tolerance policy for fighting (I disagree with it, but thats a different subject). In ANY fight or altercation like this, ALL students involved are automatically suspended. It keeps ther kids from jumping in a fight to help, and it eliminates the school as a judge trying to determine who started the fight and why. Unfortunately, it punishes the innocent at times. Last year one of my daughter's friends was sitting at lunch eating lunch with some of her friends and she got jumped from behind (and injured) and she was suspended along with the girl who jumped her, in spite of numerous witnesses that she didn't even see the girl coming at her until it was too late. For this reason I have always told my daughter that if someone starts a fight with her, since she's going to get suspended anyway, she might as well defend herself.


Our schools have a provision written into the zero tolerance policy that defending yourself in not punishable, but hitting or anything similar is considered retaliation and would be punished.
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Old 12-14-2012, 05:18 PM   #53
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OP I also suggest filing a police report. This girl sounds like she could say anything at all to her parents about the situation and they may have already gone to the police. To protect your son please go in and file a report, you don't have to press charges (it may be too late now) but you should absolutely file a report.
I hope your son is OK.
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:43 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 100%Disney View Post
Our schools have a provision written into the zero tolerance policy that defending yourself in not punishable, but hitting or anything similar is considered retaliation and would be punished.
How do you "defend" yourself without retaliating? What a load of crap.

OP I still say, legal counsel is the only one who can advise you of anything. And some will meet with you for a small fee, or no fee then only charge you for any additional action(s) that maybe needed. Consult an attorney.
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Old 12-15-2012, 03:01 AM   #55
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That was my thought as well.

OP, what more are you looking for?
I would say the girl needs to be prosecuted for sexual assault at 15 she is old enough to know better. Why should the ops son take this? This is why domestic violence against men is now as much as 45% of domestic violence because we are teaching boys hitting girls is bad but girls can do anything to boys without consequence.
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Old 12-15-2012, 05:51 AM   #56
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The school principal is a mandated reporter.

According to this link concerning mandated reporters in NC:

http://nccasa.net/index.php?option=c...=65&Itemid=117

"School Principals must report immediately to law enforcement when he or she has personal or actual knowledge that an act has occurred on school property involving certain offenses.4"

The notation "4" is this:

4 N.C. Gen Stat. § 115C-288(g)  Offenses include assault, sexual assault, rape, kidnapping, indecent liberties with a minor, assault involving use of a weapon, possession of a firearm or weapon in violation of the law, possession of a controlled substance in violation of the law)."

What she did to your son was at least assault because of the bite. I also believe that her hurting your sons testicles was sexual assault but that would be up to a DA. The principal has seen the bite mark. He has an obligation to report it.
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Old 12-15-2012, 06:32 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minerva Mouse

How do you "defend" yourself without retaliating? What a load of crap.

OP I still say, legal counsel is the only one who can advise you of anything. And some will meet with you for a small fee, or no fee then only charge you for any additional action(s) that maybe needed. Consult an attorney.
I agree. I feel this situation has been totally misdealt with and the school needs to step up and stop discriminating because your son is a boy! This girl assaulted him (and yes I believe sexually) and that is not okay at all! It needs a bigger punishment than 5 days of suspension. I would be livid with the school for being so biased.

It is the school's job to ensure all students are safe at school! They made a mistake leaving the class unsupervised and have to face the consequences. They are most likely hoping you will let it go so nothing more comes out of it.

It's important to deal with these cases properly. A few years ago, a boy approached my brother on the school field and started yelling abuse at him before punching him in the face and pinning him down (my brother did nothing to aggravate the boy so we knew something was up). The school suspended both of them and punished my brother despite the fact all witnesses said he was at no fault whatsoever.

A few days later, the boy showed up at the school threatening with a knife. The school had not dealt with the case properly and now the boy could easily do serious or even fatal harm to someone. What's more, my brother's incident was not the first that the boy had caused. He had assaulted people many times before.

It is crucial for these things to be dealt with properly or students will think they can get away with it. In this case the boy showing up with a knife was a disastrous consequence and luckily a teacher saw before he could hurt anyone.

Go for it OP and get your DS protected from this strange girl. The school should also face consequences for being so biased and unprofessional IMO. They have failed at keeping your DS safe.

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Old 12-15-2012, 09:28 AM   #58
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I would talk with a police officer and ask their opinion.

I can't help wondering what would be done to your son if the role was reversed and he had squeezed her private parts in class and bit her even if he was 15 and her 19? It is sexual assult either way.
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Old 12-15-2012, 10:02 AM   #59
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The school principal is a mandated reporter. ....
What she did to your son was at least assault because of the bite. I also believe that her hurting your sons testicles was sexual assault but that would be up to a DA. The principal has seen the bite mark. He has an obligation to report it.
YES... this, totally and completely....

If a male had grabbed a female in that area, it would be HUGE....

The school is totally and completely MIS-handling this.
They WILL do whatever it takes to cover their own behind.

Do not trust them.

NOT ONE MORE SINGLE WORD TO ANYONE AT THE SCHOOL.

OP, I am not saying that you need to file any charges or press anything at all... But, for your son's protection, he needs to go file a report with the Police.
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Old 12-15-2012, 10:40 AM   #60
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YES... this, totally and completely....

If a male had grabbed a female in that area, it would be HUGE....

The school is totally and completely MIS-handling this.
They WILL do whatever it takes to cover their own behind.

Do not trust them.

NOT ONE MORE SINGLE WORD TO ANYONE AT THE SCHOOL.

OP, I am not saying that you need to file any charges or press anything at all... But, for your son's protection, he needs to go file a report with the Police.
Can someone explain the bolded to me? I'm sorry, I just don't see how filing a report "protects" anyone.
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