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Old 12-14-2012, 08:05 AM   #31
mjkacmom
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What is your problem? The girl bit him and squeezed his testicles. This is not just a scuffle. This is sexual abuse. I'm sure if this was done to a girl, and some guy was squeezing the girl's va* gi* na* people would have a different opinion. It's so sad we live in a world where girls can torment boys, with absolutely no consequences. I would seriously report this to the police or transfer him to another HS. I can't understand why this HS is not doing anything to suspend that girl.
The OP said the girl was suspended for 5 days - I think that is a punishment! I don't think this is sexual abuse. None of us were there, but girls have always been told that, in self defense with a male, to go for the nads. It's not sexual - it's a defense move.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:06 AM   #32
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I agree. The first thing I would have done is call the police.

What a crappy situation for you and your DS to be in, especially when the school seems to be dismissing what happened.
We fully expected the school to call the police, even though we weren't after getting her charged. It just amazes me that, because he's a boy, it doesn't seem that important to them. And you should have seen that bite. You could count the teeth prints, even days later, and it is so bruised. My son is such a sweet soul and is so protective of girls. It just makes me livid. And I wonder how much the fact that she's a star, varsity basketball player for the school plays into how they handled this situation.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:10 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by mjkacmom View Post
The OP said the girl was suspended for 5 days - I think that is a punishment! I don't think this is sexual abuse. None of us were there, but girls have always been told that, in self defense with a male, to go for the nads. It's not sexual - it's a defense move.

She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:13 AM   #34
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She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
I'm really shocked that none of the other kids tried to help him
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:16 AM   #35
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She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
I'm not saying she was defending herself. However, I equal grabbing him there to poking him in the eyes - a move to hurt a lot. She was reacting in a way where she felt she needed to retaliate for a hurt she thought he caused. However, if she fondled him, yes, I would say that was sexual assault.

If the situation was reversed, and your ds grabbed her chest, trying to hurt her/defend himself, that might be sexual assault, because there are no self defense classes that indicate that assulting a woman's breasts will help in self defense.

I do think this girl is troubled, and got what she deserved. I don't think she should be on the sex offender list because of her actions.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:18 AM   #36
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I'm still trying to figure out how a 15yo and a 19yo end up in the same gym class.

OP, I hope it works out for your son.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:29 AM   #37
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I'm really shocked that none of the other kids tried to help him
If you step into a fight, just to help, you get suspended. It has happened, at this school, numerous times. So kids get pummeled, with no help in sight, unless a teacher is near. And to be quite frank, I think they were as shocked as my son that she did something like that to him.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:32 AM   #38
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Adding that I agree that this was a sexual assult and should be reported to the police. The school should also be treating it as such.
Yes. You can call the police and file assault charges.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:33 AM   #39
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She won't be back until after Christmas break. I would love to keep him home, he's sick with bronchitis, but he would get too far behind in his classes. He has dyslexia and struggles in math. Missing 4 days could cause him to fail this six weeks.
That's horrible. So they basically just extended her Christmas vacation. Some punishment.

I really hope all this goes well for your son- I was in a zero tolerance high school as well, and it led to a MORE violent culture it seemed.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:39 AM   #40
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Adding that I agree that this was a sexual assult and should be reported to the police. The school should also be treating it as such.
Absolutely. Had a male student grabbed a female student instead of the other way around the school wouldn't be dragging their feet so much on the matter and no one, here or anywhere else, would be blowing it off so cavalierly. You do not grab the genitals of anyone in a move to hurt them a lot in anything other than self-defense and this was quite obviously not self-defense. It was an attack.

I can't believe it was even suggested that that was ok but the other way around wouldn't be. It is equally not ok either way.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:43 AM   #41
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Filing a police report is not charging her. It's a record. You can even tell them you do not want to press charges just want a report filed incase. It's for your sons protection more then to get this girl in further trouble. And if you seek an attorneys advice they will most likely say have you filed a police report?

If you have a couple of witnesses that will write in paper what they saw that's great to. But the HS sounds like that could cause more problems with your son especially if you ask the wrong witness then the word will be around.

You do not know this girl or her dad what if they are filing a police report as well? wonder if they are taking this to the next level and the police show up at school and arrests your son. You don't know what else is going on.

The school is liable as well, the sub left the class in supervised without leaving someone in charge. Most schools have intercoms so they can get in touch with the office so they don't leave the class room. The teach this in college, going through education courses. If the girl does anything else I would look into this.

I hope for the best, and I hope you do not have to use the police report if you choose to file one. And that this all blows over.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:45 AM   #42
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OP, I agree that you need to take whatever steps are needed to protect your son from being questioned any further, without a lawyer present.

Instruct your son to 'plead the 5th'.
Basically he needs to let the school know that he does not feel comfortable saying one more word.
He has cooperated, and he had made his statements, and there will be no further 'interrogation' without legal counsel, as this could possibly become a legal matter.


Your son is an adult, and he needs to be sure to handle this as any adult should, for his own self preservation.


At this point, she has been punished, and even if you are not pressing any charges, SHE and her parents very well could.
it is obvious that they are willing to now allege that he assaulted her.

At this point, anything your son says could have legal repercussions, and could be used against him.


As you have said, this is a very minor thing for this underage girl, but could be a real life-changer for your son, as an adult, if this girl, or the school, decide to make any further moves.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:48 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireDancer View Post
Absolutely. Had a male student grabbed a female student instead of the other way around the school wouldn't be dragging their feet so much on the matter and no one, here or anywhere else, would be blowing it off so cavalierly. You do not grab the genitals of anyone in a move to hurt them a lot in anything other than self-defense and this was quite obviously not self-defense. It was an attack.

I can't believe it was even suggested that that was ok but the other way around wouldn't be. It is equally not ok either way.
Thank you for your comments. It bothers me that, because he's a boy, it was acceptable to some people. I agree that had he been attacking her, she had every right to hurt him. Just because he is a boy, doesn't make it less humiliating for him to have her grab his testicles in a class full of other students. The long term damage she could have caused him is what bothers me most.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:52 AM   #44
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OP, I agree that you need to take whatever steps are needed to protect your son from being questioned any further, without a lawyer present.

Instruct your son to 'plead the 5th'.
Basically he needs to let the school know that he does not feel comfortable saying one more word.
He has cooperated, and he had made his statements, and there will be no further 'interrogation' without legal counsel, as this could possibly become a legal matter.


Your son is an adult, and he needs to be sure to handle this as any adult should, for his own self preservation.


At this point, she has been punished, and even if you are not pressing any charges, SHE and her parents very well could.
it is obvious that they are willing to now allege that he assaulted her.

At this point, anything your son says could have legal repercussions, and could be used against him.


As you have said, this is a very minor thing for this underage girl, but could be a real life-changer for your son, as an adult, if this girl, or the school, decide to make any further moves.
He was told, this morning, to call me if the principal calls him to the office again.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:53 AM   #45
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Yes, I would also consider filing a police report.
Actually, if the school was following procedure and law, the Resource Officer should have been called in, as official local law enforcement, to file a report.

I would find it necessary to have some official record of your son's statements regarding what happened. INCLUDING the fact that there seemed to be no school staff present.

The school will look out for themselves.
Period.
They know that there is an issue of school liability here.
They WILL cover their behinds.

They are not handling this appropriately at all.

Please do consider filing a report.
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