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Old 12-14-2012, 12:28 PM   #121
traviesojmt
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I realize from reading the boards that many people handle things differently than my DH and I may handle them. I honestly would not blink twice at how an envelope was addressed. We don't care who opens the mail either. Anything that comes in the mail is free to be opened by either us, regardless of who it is addressed. Of course, I have also gotten over the fact that military refers to me as a "dependent" on a regular basis.

As a side note: did anyone see Charles Barkley on SNL? He did a hilarious skit that my DS15 and I laugh about almost daily now. According to the skit, he would refer to this thread as "white-people problems". It was really funny. Making fun of some of the silly stuff we get upset about.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:30 PM   #122
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My wife has a different last name and does get irritated when someone addresses her with my last name. However, she could care less about getting any kind of mail addresses as my last name. There are a lot bigger things to worry about. I can't believe people actually get offended by having mail addressed this way. I think people need to get a life if this bugs them.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:33 PM   #123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by traviesojmt View Post
As a side note: did anyone see Charles Barkley on SNL? He did a hilarious skit that my DS15 and I laugh about almost daily now. According to the skit, he would refer to this thread as "white-people problems". It was really funny. Making fun of some of the silly stuff we get upset about.
They have a website for this now and it is HILARIOUS.

http://whitepeopleproblems.us/

One of my favorites: Under the heading "Why am I being punished?" and a picture of a girl weeping... "I wanted a McDonald's apple pie, but my mom got a Dunkin Donuts one instead."

I also like: Twinkies are going out of business. 11/16/12. Never forget.

Last edited by themilesfamily; 12-14-2012 at 12:39 PM.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:36 PM   #124
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Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo View Post
I sent a Christmas card to a family friend and her spouse, and today on facebook there is a picture of the envelope I addressed to them. I had addressed it to " Mr & Mrs (husbands name, last name). The status says something along the lines of it is 2012 and I have my own name and identity. Apparently I should have included both first names? I honestly was not trying to offend anyone. Just trying to fit it all in on the address line. But I can tell you who is OFF the card list from now on.

Anyone else get offended by having your mail addressed this way? I'll be honest, I don't put that much time into getting offended.
OP, you addressed the card correctly.
I wish I had your friend's life. Geez, if something like this can even become a blip in her life, she must have it really easy.
She could though be one of those sad people who have to post
every single thing that happens in their small lives on FB.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessShmoo View Post
On the other hand my mom gets upset when people send her mail addressed to "Mrs. Jane Smith". She says, even though my dad died over 40 years ago, she's still "Mrs. John Smith". Most women (in her opinion) who use the "Mrs. Jane Smith" name are divorced, not widowed.

I agree, she should have contacted the OP privately and told her what she prefers.

My mom, aunts grandmothers would have been upset too. It doesn't upset me if I receive an envelope addressed to Mrs. Robbi Doe but I automatically register that it was done incorrectly at least according to the etiquette classes we had drilled into us at school.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:54 PM   #125
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Wow! I haven't read all the posts just the first couple, but here is my two cents. First of all, you addressed it "correctly" - 2nd of all, WHO CARES? I hope you called your "friend" on her post on FB - that is ridiculous. What is wrong with people? I definitley would cross them off the list for next year.... with friends like those.....
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:59 PM   #126
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Originally Posted by Imzadi View Post
How has the other woman been embarrassed? I don't think she thinks she embarrassed herself.

And the OP did NOT make a social faux pas as, last I knew, her way of addressing envelopes is still considered correct by the current etiquette rules.

Also, I think any form of diplomacy and subtle decorum would be lost on the other woman. Anyone who would not personally, privately address a small offense such as that, but tries to openly, publicly embarrass, poke fun of or humiliate another person who was being thoughtful & sending well wishes, seems to be lacking that level of social grace.
Um, it was tongue in cheek.

It answers the social clod in the forum she chose without being overtly hostile, but gets the message across all the same.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:17 PM   #127
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Add me to the list of people who have been offended being addressed as "Mrs. John Jones". I am "Mrs. Jones", "Mr. and Mrs. Jones", "Sally Jones", and "The Jones Family", but I most definitely am not "Mrs. John Jones" or "Mr. and Mrs. John Jones". While I would have made a comment to DH about the envelope and we would have laughted about it, I never would have posted anything on Facebook.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:19 PM   #128
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I will never understand people getting offended by others who are trying to be kind and polite. You might not like it, but the other person is not being purposely rude. To get offended because someone else's polite might be old fashioned to you, is just ridiculous and crass. Preferring something different is one thing, actually being offended is silly to me. Someone is trying to be nice and all you can see is how they wrote out the envelope.....

I tell you, we are all going to have to take weekly classes to keep up on everybody else's preferences and new connotations for words because so many are so busy needing to feel offended that they can't appreciate anything else in life and feel the world needs to revolve around their personal views. Intent is so much more important.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:19 PM   #129
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I guess you can't make everyone happy.

Maybe we should all start addressing our envelopes as such:


Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
OR
Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe
OR
Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe
OR
Jane and John Doe
OR
John and Jane Doe
OR
The Doe Family
OR
The Doe and Smith Family
OR
*INSERT YOUR PREFERRED NAME HERE*
1234 First Street
City, State, Zip



I mean GEEZ, really?! Be glad you have people that think highly enough of you to send you a card. With that kind of attitude you won't get anything anymore!
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:38 PM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgh View Post
*INSERT YOUR PREFERRED NAME HERE*
1234 First Street
City, State, Zip
I'm going with...

Hey You
1234 First Street
City, State, Zip

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Old 12-14-2012, 01:40 PM   #131
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Originally Posted by pacrosby View Post
But it's not considered outdated by everyone and that's the point. Many women still change their name and even embrace the idea of being thought of as "Mrs. John X". In fact many (including myself) actually despise the silly 'Ms.' designation and all the pomp and circumstance surrounding this "I am a person too" debate. Are we now supposed to call everyone before we address their envelope to determine how how they prefer to be addressed? I guess this stuff just never ceases to amaze me. Don't people have bigger fish to fry? I know I do...I don't care what you call me (well, within reason ).
Nothing 'silly' about wanting to keep your marital status private. Male titles don't advertise their marital status, so I think it's perfectly reasonable that many females also don't want a title that screams 'I'm married/single'.

The facebook girl in the OP was tactless and inappropriate but I can see where she's coming from. I am NOT 'Mrs [Hisfirst] [Hislast]' so it would be incorrect to address me that way. I would find it pretty bizarre and a little insulting to be addressed that way, regardless of what some stupid etiquette book says.

That said, I wouldn't post it on facebook, especially if the sender was on my friend list. That's just passive-aggressive, and kind of dumb.
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:13 PM   #132
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Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by themilesfamily View Post
I'm going with...

Hey You
1234 First Street
City, State, Zip

FTW!!!

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Old 12-14-2012, 02:35 PM   #133
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Originally Posted by epcot.girl View Post
Nothing 'silly' about wanting to keep your marital status private. Male titles don't advertise their marital status, so I think it's perfectly reasonable that many females also don't want a title that screams 'I'm married/single'.

.
Do they not wear wedding rings? I don't know, but most (yes not all) married people wear rings which screams.. IM MARRIED!
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:36 PM   #134
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Originally Posted by themilesfamily View Post
I'm going with...

Hey You
1234 First Street
City, State, Zip

LOL! Maybe Prince was onto something when he changed his name to a symbol!
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:45 PM   #135
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Originally Posted by epcot.girl View Post
Nothing 'silly' about wanting to keep your marital status private. Male titles don't advertise their marital status, so I think it's perfectly reasonable that many females also don't want a title that screams 'I'm married/single'.
Is it supposed to be a secret you're married?
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