Offended

[sissy_ib]

I just got a Christmas card today from my great aunt. It says the same thing "Mr. and Mrs. husbands name, last name". I was so touched she sent us a card.

[DebbieB]

If I send a Christmas or Sympathy card to a married coworker, I usually address it as Mr & Mrs husband's name even though my coworker is the wife.

[Duchie]

I'll be the first to disagree and state that I really hate things addresed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I gave up my last name when I got married, but I did keep my first. Stuff address like that goes straight to DH because his name is on it, not mine. I don't mind Mr. and Mrs. Doe though. When addressing cards I usually address it to The Doe Family.

However, saying something on FB that way really was rude. I agree that she should have said something to you privately. I'm curious to know if anyone of her other friends have commented on or "Liked" what she wrote.

[Imzadi]

Originally Posted by Ceila

Wow! I would have had to respond with something snarky, like "It is 2012, I have my own FB account where you could contact me in private to express your displeasure of my holiday greetings."

I would have FBed back a picture of text snipped from one of Emily Post's etiquette books on the proper way to address an envelope AND another one on the etiquette of keeping private issues between the two people involved.

I personally would have just addressed the envelopes "John & Jane Doe & family." Or "John Smith & Jane Doe & family," if she has a different last name.

[PrincessShmoo]

Originally Posted by lovin'fl

That was obnoxiously rude of OP's friend. She would most definitely NEVER get a card or anything from me again.

But I will say that my MIL sends my mom a Xmas card addressed to Mrs. and then adds my dad's first (Joseph) and last name (like OP did), but my dad passed away 12 years ago and my mom does not like that MIL does this. She has been in a new relationship for the past 7-8 years and while she still uses my dad's last name she doesn't really feel like a Mrs. Joseph anymore. She tells me that it bugs her but she would NEVER do like OP's friend did or even mention it to my MIL in any way.

I address couples as Mr. and Mrs. and just put last name and no first name and I address families as so-and-so family.

On the other hand my mom gets upset when people send her mail addressed to "Mrs. Jane Smith". She says, even though my dad died over 40 years ago, she's still "Mrs. John Smith". Most women (in her opinion) who use the "Mrs. Jane Smith" name are divorced, not widowed.

I agree, she should have contacted the OP privately and told her what she prefers.

[Ceila]

Originally Posted by Imzadi

I would have FBed back a picture of text snipped from one of Emily Post's etiquette books on the proper way to address an envelope AND another one on the etiquette of keeping private issues between the two people involved.

Ooh, I like that idea, too!

[Tink1987]

She would be off my list as well! No need to put cowardly FB statuses at all, that's what drives me crazy about the thing! I bet she would never say it to your face!

[MaryAnnDVC]

That was crappy of the recipient to comment about it on FB.

I'm comfortable with an envelope addressed to my husband and me as "Mr and Mrs John Smith", in the sense that it's no big deal and I'm not going to complain about it. However, I prefer NOT to address people that way...I usually do "John and Mary Smith" or "The Smith Family" if they're a casual enough friend. To my husband's boss and his wife, I'd put "Mr and Mrs John Smith" tho.

What I DON'T like is something addressed to ME as "Mrs John Smith." Ugh. My name's not John. I get it that it's the old fashioned formal way of doing things, but not now, in 2012.

I know women who didn't change their last name when they got married, so I'd put "Mr Tom Jones and Ms Mary Smith" or "The Smith/Jones Family."

Or, just leave off the Mr/Mrs/Ms altogether.

[wdwmom0f3]

I would have been mad if a friend of mine did that to me and I promise you that she would never get another card from me.

Question, did anyone "Like" it of face book? I would think most people would think she was rude and very disrespectful. If someone that I knew posted something about that I would have skipped right over it. It would also change the way I felt about that person. She may have been trying to be funny, but I see no humor in that at all.

Sorry OP. I thought it was very polite, and in this day and time she is lucky to even be getting a card because a lot of people dont even send them anymore.

Merry Christmas!!

[PrincessNancy96]

I guess I am getting coal in my stocking... I addressed all my cards that way this year!


Sorry your "friend" was such a rude person.. she would definitely be off my card list!!

[mhsjax]

Originally Posted by Duchie

I'll be the first to disagree and state that I really hate things addresed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I gave up my last name when I got married, but I did keep my first. Stuff address like that goes straight to DH because his name is on it, not mine. I don't mind Mr. and Mrs. Doe though. When addressing cards I usually address it to The Doe Family.

However, saying something on FB that way really was rude. I agree that she should have said something to you privately. I'm curious to know if anyone of her other friends have commented on or "Liked" what she wrote.

If it goes straight to him when addressed like this, maybe you should get the mail first. lol I open most mail even if addressed only to my DH, it just depends on who gets to it first.

[nathalee81]

I kept my maiden name when I got married, but we get mail all the time addressed Mr. and Mrs.

I have no problem with it.

In fact, I'm just delighted when I get a nice piece of mail or correspondence-anything other than a bill . No one ever sends Christmas cards or letters anymore and I kind of miss that...I guess I am horribly old fashioned to think that way, though...

I'm sorry that this person did this to you-I think it was tacky and petty. I really don't know what gets into people sometimes...

[TheIncredibles!]

@@ I would have been pissed at that too, especially knowing that she knew you would see it. Some people are so uptight.

My grandmother addresses everything that comes to me as Mrs. John Doe. Not Jane Doe or Mrs. Jane Doe. Our anniversary card comes as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. That's how she was taught and I am certainly not offended by it although the first year we were married DH was confused and opened my birthday card, easter card etc. (She sends cards for everthing and everybody in the family eachs gets their own card. No family card from her - lol)

[wdwmom2]

I probably would have responded with, "well, you won't need to worry about that anymore", and left it at that. As in, you will never get a Christmas card from me ever again!

My DD lives with her boyfriend. They probably will be getting married, hopefully sometime in the not so distant future. When I mailed them their Christmas card. I put, (his name) & (her name) (his last name). Just a subtle hint!!!!

[donaldlovesdaisy]

Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo

I sent a Christmas card to a family friend and her spouse, and today on facebook there is a picture of the envelope I addressed to them. I had addressed it to " Mr & Mrs (husbands name, last name). The status says something along the lines of it is 2012 and I have my own name and identity. Apparently I should have included both first names? I honestly was not trying to offend anyone. Just trying to fit it all in on the address line. But I can tell you who is OFF the card list from now on.

Anyone else get offended by having your mail addressed this way? I'll be honest, I don't put that much time into getting offended.

Your friend is a H!!!!!