Family refuses to donate.

[sissy_ib]

Originally Posted by furb & dez

That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.

Harsh and uncalled for. I think you need to chill. She is simply venting her frustration. It's not like she is pounding down their door demanding the items back.

[scrapquitler]

OP, once you give it to them, they can do what they wish with it. I think you need to just let it go...if you can't, then don't give them things again, just donate them directly and skip over these relatives.

[BeachLove]

Originally Posted by furb & dez

That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.

Um calm it down. It's ok to not agree. Telling someone to learn basic social skills and learning appropriate boundaries is pretty messed up.

[Sunnywho]

I am guessing that they are not as well off as the OP.
The OP could gently suggest that if they are not able to donate or pass them on, perhaps they could sell them on ebay (and keep the proceeds). Keeping them for younger siblings is also valid. But it's not like they want to store them at the OP's garage. I would suggest giving more to them, not less. It's cast-off clothes that don't mean anything anymore to the OP and it obviously means something or has value to the recipients since they are not willing to part with it.

[bumbershoot]

Originally Posted by crl

The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

I agree.



We held on to MANY of DS's clothes, and it has only been in this last year that I'm giving them away. Some of the things, however, are being consigned, because they are in really good shape or cost too much to give away. Those get held longer, because I'm waiting for the right season to sell.

I have also held on to ALL of my formal gowns and many other things of my own. It gives me pleasure to look at them (and now that I'm losing weight, put them on again!).

We all have our own reasons for holding on to things. As an other poster said, she's not storing them at YOUR place, so don't let it bother you.

[Judique]

Originally Posted by Marionnette

You need to let it go. Once you give something to someone, you give up any rights to dictate what they do with it. Would you donate clothes to Good Will or any other charity with the stipulation that the person buying the clothes should also donate them when they are outgrown?

I agree with this.

Best to just give it and forget it.

You can bypass them by donating elsewhere, but they are still family. If they are using the items at least once after you have used them, you have helped somebody.

And, after some time has passed, they may get tired of keeping the extra clutter around also!

[mickeymaker2003]

Originally Posted by jennyjinx3

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

Those families that need help are happy to pay the .50 or $1.00 for items at a garage sale instead of the $6 Goodwill charges for a pair of jeans here.

[Marlea98]

Originally Posted by sissy_ib

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Sadly, here, I'm finding that people are buying good 'brand name' stuff at garage sales really cheap and on selling on eBay or whatever for a profit I prefer to donate but each to their own.

[SamSam]

Another great place to donate clothing, or household items is DVAC. Not sure if it's called something else in other areas, it's Domestic Violance Association. Often women (mostly) leave their home on short notice (with their children) and have absolutely nothing with them.

I take all my clothes, suitcases, and products from hotels (we travel for work) in to our local DVAC on a regular basis. It really is greatly appreciated and needed.

[jamesmommy]

Our school has a clothes "closet" where we can donate clothing for local families. We also have several local churches who have small thrift stores to raise money for various charities and missions. I like to give to that sort of place, because I feel like I am helping those in my own community.

My son has worn hand-me-downs from my great nephew, most of which were at least 5 years old at the time. IMO, children's clothing, particularly boys, doesn't seem to date itself as easily as that of teen and adults.

[okeydokey]

I would skip the family and donate some things directly to other organizations. I think it is sad that the family put pretty prom like dresses in a box never to be seen again when a needy girl would really appreciate having them. You don't owe the family first dibs n your things if you rather give them to someone else.

I can't believe they would try to bags of food from your home that you have set aside to donate. That's just wrong.

[snarlingcoyote]

Originally Posted by sissy_ib

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Not in the neighborhoods I've lived in. I wa a HUGE saler a few years ago. I knew a few people who did it to stretch their budgets, but most of us were just flat out bargain hunters who sent saling as a form of shopping therapy.

[MrsPete]

Originally Posted by sissy_ib

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Disagree. Most of the people I know who shop at yard sales, consignment shops, etc. are thrifty -- not needy. In my personal experience, they tend to be average or better in terms of finances.

[MrsPete]

Originally Posted by bumbershoot

We held on to MANY of DS's clothes, and it has only been in this last year that I'm giving them away.

I think MANY moms have "evolved" in their thinking about kids' clothes in this way. When your baby outgrows those first things, it's hard to give them away. They're so tiny and cute, and they remind you of those first days, and you think you might need them again for another baby . . . but when she outgrows more and more and more sizes, and when they begin to fill your attic and take over your life . . . well, you can't get wait to get rid of them!

[a1tinkfans]

Originally Posted by jennyjinx3

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

I bolded
really?
Did you ever consider that maybe that family is selling their items to actually make money so they can afford new clothing? Perhaps the family buying it..its all THEY can afford??
Recycle rather than throw it away?
Or avoid being on assistance?
Its lovely to be able to donate but perhaps....not everyone has that "luxury" sometimes there is another side to the picture..
I know one of those families you appear to criticize and honestly, I applaud ALL the things they do to manage their family with dignity and without the need to ask for public help. Just say'n