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Old 12-10-2012, 11:27 AM   #1
BeachLove
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Family refuses to donate.

So, maybe this is more of a vent. When I don't want clothing anymore, I just donate it. If its something that will fit someone in my family and they want it, its packed up and given to them. Now, I've been noticing once these items no longer fit my younger cousins, its kept in storage. For years....... They have bags and boxes with dozens of jeans, dozens of shirts, coats, some formal dresses, etc.

I guess it just bugs me because the clothing is in good shape and could go to a new family. Especially the formal dresses. Their idea is that since its name brand stuff and expensive they feel bad donating it. UGH come on. Do you have people in your family like this? I know its no longer my stuff. Still I did say to please donate it once you're finished with it. I've started to just not ask if they want something and just donating it. Its the same thing when I donate food to the food bank. If they see the bags hanging around my house waiting for donation time they try to claim it.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:33 AM   #2
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My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:35 AM   #3
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I can understand the frustration - it's hard to see all those nice clothes turning into mice feed when needy families could use them.

I would just not give anything to your family anymore - take it right to Goodwill.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:45 AM   #4
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It *could* be that they are saving them for future children. I packed up all of my eldest's clothes with the idea of re-using them for my next child, and as fate would have it, she didn't arrive for 10 years. She's wearing those clothes right now.

(Also, fwiw, packed properly, natural-fiber clothing will last for centuries; it won't be mouse-kibble if you do it right. Also, I've been sewing since childhood, and I often re-use fabric from old garments to make new ones.)
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:51 AM   #5
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Thank you

I know I can't tell them what to do with it now. It's just annoying to know its stacked in cardboard boxes in an attic. Some of those gowns could have been donated to be used for proms.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:56 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyjinx3 View Post
My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)
The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

The best way to be sure your donated clothes are helping those who need it is to give directly to that person. Such as my son's clothes that are still in good condition go to family at church who have 2 little boys.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:59 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by NotUrsula View Post
It *could* be that they are saving them for future children. I packed up all of my eldest's clothes with the idea of re-using them for my next child, and as fate would have it, she didn't arrive for 10 years. She's wearing those clothes right now.

(Also, fwiw, packed properly, natural-fiber clothing will last for centuries; it won't be mouse-kibble if you do it right. Also, I've been sewing since childhood, and I often re-use fabric from old garments to make new ones.)
By the time the younger kids can fit into this clothing it would have been in storage for up to 15 years. I guess I'm just anti-clutter and couldn't stand to have stuff in storage. Especially with styles changing and how picky kids are.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:01 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by crl View Post
The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

The best way to be sure your donated clothes are helping those who need it is to give directly to that person. Such as my son's clothes that are still in good condition go to family at church who have 2 little boys.
Exactly, I love giving to the churches. I don't care what kind of church it is or what they believe in. I rather donate that way than give it to the goodwill.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyjinx3 View Post
My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)
Nope, I love those people. It's the only way I can afford to clothe my girls on a budget. I can get an entire wardrobe between those folks and clothing swaps for about $25, including coats, boots, etc.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:08 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyjinx3 View Post
My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)
For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:10 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeachLove View Post
So, maybe this is more of a vent. When I don't want clothing anymore, I just donate it. If its something that will fit someone in my family and they want it, its packed up and given to them. Now, I've been noticing once these items no longer fit my younger cousins, its kept in storage. For years....... They have bags and boxes with dozens of jeans, dozens of shirts, coats, some formal dresses, etc.

I guess it just bugs me because the clothing is in good shape and could go to a new family. Especially the formal dresses. Their idea is that since its name brand stuff and expensive they feel bad donating it. UGH come on. Do you have people in your family like this? I know its no longer my stuff. Still I did say to please donate it once you're finished with it. I've started to just not ask if they want something and just donating it. Its the same thing when I donate food to the food bank. If they see the bags hanging around my house waiting for donation time they try to claim it.
You need to let it go. Once you give something to someone, you give up any rights to dictate what they do with it. Would you donate clothes to Good Will or any other charity with the stipulation that the person buying the clothes should also donate them when they are outgrown?
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:14 PM   #12
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Isn't Goodwill set up to help provide jobs and training for those with disabilities? I think they do their work not by providing low cost items but by providing jobs?

Lots of great places to donate, women's shelters are another area that often need clothing and toys.

Many research groups ( Kidney, cancer...) collect items and then sell them to the thrift stores to raise funds. ASPCA, or rescue groups? Maybe something close to her heart would motivate her?

Or maybe you could suggest that she place the clothes on consignment? Maybe getting some money from them would entice her? At least they would not just go to waste and would give someone else a chance to purchase them at a reduced price.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:30 PM   #13
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maybe you should simply ask for them back. You gave them to them with disposal directions. That does mean they accepted your terms when accepting the clothes. So ask them to give the clothes back to you to donate or just take them and donate them.

Maybe I'm mean but I wouldn't tolerate my family acting like that.
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:11 PM   #14
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maybe you should simply ask for them back. You gave them to them with disposal directions. That does mean they accepted your terms when accepting the clothes. So ask them to give the clothes back to you to donate or just take them and donate them.
That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:32 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Friendly Frog View Post
Isn't Goodwill set up to help provide jobs and training for those with disabilities? I think they do their work not by providing low cost items but by providing jobs?

Lots of great places to donate, women's shelters are another area that often need clothing and toys.

Many research groups ( Kidney, cancer...) collect items and then sell them to the thrift stores to raise funds. ASPCA, or rescue groups? Maybe something close to her heart would motivate her?

Or maybe you could suggest that she place the clothes on consignment? Maybe getting some money from them would entice her? At least they would not just go to waste and would give someone else a chance to purchase them at a reduced price.
They do hire disabled workers and give them a very low wage, some make as low as .22. While the CEO makes a little more than half a million.
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