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Old 12-10-2012, 08:41 AM   #46
mhsjax
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Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
A one-time event???!! Are you kidding? These days people get married and break-up as quickly and easily as I go to the grocery store.

If a bride is concerned about how her wedding will "look" rather than who will share in it and why they are special to her, then she should probably not ask a friend who she knows has specific beliefs that might impact the "look" she desires.

I am assuming that if a bride asks someone to be a bridesmaid, that it is someone she knows relatively well and therefore would know the limitations of the bridesmaid's religious beliefs...
Well the way I look at it, after watching too many Say Yes to the Dress, Bridesmaids and from listening to people I know. If you give one person the option for changing something then they may all want something different. No way I would want several different girls arguing over what changes they want. One style that is it.
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Old 12-10-2012, 09:04 AM   #47
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My sister was engaged around Thanksgiving, so this is something we're going through right now.

My sister didn't want to have an audience as she tried on/chose a wedding gown, so she took my Mom and bought a gown that day.

For bridesmaid dresses, my Mom, DD11 and I went with her to pick out bridesmaid dresses. We had to use David's Bridal, as her bridesmaids are scattered across the country and it was the easiest as far as access for everyone.

It was relatively quick and painless picking out a dress. I tried on 12 or 15 gowns and DD tried on 6 or 7. Some were just awful and had us all , but she did find one we all liked. Even though I told her from the beginning it was her wedding and DD and I would wear whatever dress she picked, even if I hated it.
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Old 12-10-2012, 09:18 AM   #48
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This is why I only took my mother dress shopping.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:05 AM   #49
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I don't really watch the shows so I can't comment.
But, as a bridesmaid, I always wore whatever was asked of me. And some were not so flattering. I picked the bridesmaid dresses for my wedding and no one said a word positive or negative. Maybe they hated them, but they didn't say it.

That said, if I had a friend with religios beliefs that conflicted with the style I wanted, I would have chosen a style that suited them... I'm just not that picky about style and fashion.

For my wedding, I went shopping with my mom and dad. Yep, dad. My friends were still busy with college, my sisters were out of town. And they volunteered to help me choose. I only tried on three and we loved the dress I picked.

My favorite wedding (as a bridesmaid) was for my youngest sister. She had six bridesmaids. One was a teenager and still in a kids size with no bust. Another two and myself were in the 8-10 range, but differed a lot in height and bust size. Another two bridesmaids were in the 18-20 range.
She chose one store and one color of fabric. And we all got to choose our own dress. Different lengths, different styles, sleeves or sleeveless. It was wonderful. And we all looked nice and were very comfortable and happy on the day of the wedding. I also think it made the entrance of the bridal party more interesting, because we all looked so different.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:39 PM   #50
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I just went wedding dress shopping with dd last week. It was just the two of us which is what she wanted. She is waiting for one dress she fell in love with but was not in the shop to come in to try on but has another dress she did try on which she will be ordering if she doesn't like that one. No drama but we had a lot of fun! Oh and just one bridesmaid and she is letting herchoose her own dress.
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:52 PM   #51
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I'm sorry, I wasn't assuming you have the attitude -- I was commenting on a general attitude that I'm seeing more and more of -- read Dear Abby or watch Bridezilla, and you'll see that more and more girls seem to have this "me me me" way of thinking about their weddings. It was your comment that started me off on this -- all I said was that I hope any future daughters-in-law I have don't have the bridezilla way about them. I didn't say "you're a terrible bridezilla type of person and I hope you never meet my sons."
To this day, I still would have the same stance I had 21 years ago. The only part of "it's all about me" that they were to adhere to was, be there to support me and DH on the day of our wedding. Every thing else was easy-peasy.

Here is the dress, yes it's under $100.00. Here are earrings and a neckless to wear with it, one of my gifts to you for doing this with me. The shoes, I don't care if you wear a flat or a 4 inch heel, open toe or closed. Just make sure they are black. If you already have a pair in your closet, clean 'em up and wear them. Please make sure you wear black hose. I don't care if their sheer or not.

You can wear you hair up or down. If you want to have your nails done, fine by me, just don't have them painted an out there color, like neon green.


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Ok. OH and trust me you wouldn't want me to meet your sons for lots of reasons. Starting with the fact that I am 49.

FWIW I do agree with you, but really I see nothing wrong with a bride wanting a specific type of dress for her wedding. However, that is part of the fun of these shows, DRAMA. Not sure I believe all of it.
I wanted a specific type of dress, one that wouldn't break the bank of those close friends I asked to be in a wedding 4 days before Christmas. I didn't want to make a money squeeze time any worse for my friends than it had to be. While I LOVE the dress that I went with, there were a couple of higher priced ones that I loved just as much, but I wouldn't do that to my friends. I had 2 friends flying in from outta state. They would have been coming home for the holidays anyhow, it was just a few days earlier, but still it was an added expense.[

If I had a close enough friend that I wanted her to be a part of my wedding, you can be sure that I would have know about her religous views and made sure that I didn't put undue stress on her to go against her religous views just to apease me for 1 day.

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A little off topic: On many episodes of the Say Yes Atlanta show, everyone, especially the mother of the bride, hates the dress the brides loves. Then they "jack her up", put a veil on and all of a sudden, everyone loves the dress. Really? A veil has that much power? Perhaps they should get a $500 dress instead of a $3,000 one and no matter what it looks like, the veil will make it all good.
The whole "jacking her up" isn't just the veil, it's the sparkly head piece, the big dangling earrings, the "bling" necklace and braclet, the beaded belt, that takes the dress the crew deems dull and gives it the wow factor they think the dull dress needs.
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Old 12-10-2012, 02:06 PM   #52
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We've never watched any of these shows through, but I've caught bits and pieces. It does seem that a bride going gown shopping shouldn't take anyone with her that she believes will have significantly different tastes, and that goes double for her mother. (Moms have a way of reverting to the "I'm the mother and you're the child" mode.)

Mrs. Tex solved the whole thing by picking out a Simplicity pattern she loved, and the bridesmaids wore the same pattern in whatever color of gingham they chose. They all sew, so it worked out fine.

It's funny, you know. Nobody ever makes a Federal case about what the groom and his party wear. Unless it's the bride, of course.
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Old 12-10-2012, 02:13 PM   #53
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When I was gown shopping eons ago, I brought ONE friend. I liked how she dressed, so I thought I was in good hands.

I didn't realize that with her being Southern, her manners would come into play. I tried on a dress that I LOVED. I lit up, did that whole bridal teary thing, asked her opinion, she said it looked lovely and I bought it.

It was days later (no returns on wedding gowns) that she let slip in a related conversation about jewelry that, "Well, your arms are SO easy to get into shape." I had arm fat that showed from the back! ACK! Why didn't she say something!? She was being too NICE because I loved that dress.

You know what, I still love that dress.
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