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Old 12-07-2012, 10:16 AM   #16
WeCantWait
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This is abuse and should be reported.

The poor kid is probably telling lies to avoid getting in trouble. If this is the punishment for lies, I cannot even imagine what other punishments are being handed out in that home.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:39 PM   #17
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There are better and more effective ways to punish a lying kid. When my son went through a lying phase, I decided to show him how aggravating liars are. When he asked me once what what we were having for dinner, I said "Pizza!" (his favorite). When dinnertime came, I served him a big plate of liver & onions with broccoli (his LEAST favorite - and mine! Blech!). When he said "You told me we were having pizza!" I shrugged and said "I lied. Now eat up!" I had to serve two more "lie dinners" but eventually he saw how frustrating it is to deal with a person who lies. The only thing the kid OP referred to is going to learn is that if he lies, he doesn't have to talk to anybody. If he's shy, he may not want to talk anyway.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:51 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanetRose View Post
Heard about someone who disciplines his child (about 10 years old) who tells a lot of lies by not letting him talk for 20 days....the boy is also home schooled.

Don't want to start any fights but wanted to find out if that is reasonable...I think it's extreme.
If the punishment was enforced, then yes, it's extreme.

I know of parents who will tell their children "You're grounded for a month!" and then give it up by the weekend. Not a great way to discipline, either, because then the child knows you're not going to follow through.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:05 PM   #19
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You heard? From whom? Is the source reliable? Do you have any other information or just this?
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:58 PM   #20
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Unless the parent is duct taping the kid's mouth closed for 20 days I doubt that this is going to be enforced. Maybe it was said out of frustration and anger, I know I;ve told my kids that I'm going to throw out every single toy they own if they don't pick them up off the floor. They still have toys.

I wouldn't report anything that you don't have actual proof of it happening.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:03 PM   #21
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I think this sounds like someone who only has part of the story.

In Bambi (hey ... it's a Disney board ) Thumper's mom tells him, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". I don't think that Thumper's mom was forbidding her son to talk. And I don't think anyone here would accuse her of emotional abuse. She was reminding him that if he's going to talk, to say something nice.

When I was a kid, it was common for my mom to say, "You know ... if you're not going to tell the truth, then you don't need to say anything." She didn't mean it literally, as in "you cannot speak for the next however-much-time". She meant it as a scolding and as a way of letting me know that lies weren't worth the telling.

Sounds to me like this could be the same sort of thing, particularly since the timeframe noted is "20 days". Not a week ... not a month ... but "20 days". Sounds like maybe the dad said something along the lines of "Santa Claus doesn't like little boys who lie. You better not talk between now and Christmas if you can't tell the truth." Still not great parenting, perhaps, but not sinister either.

Just a thought ...

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