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Old 12-06-2012, 02:42 PM   #31
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I understand. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was hoping for a girl- not like all crazy hoping, but secretly wishing, knowing I would be OK either way. I had a boy. He was wonderful and perfect and stole my heart immediately. When I got pregnant again, he was 3, and he REALLY wanted a sister. We found out the sex of baby 2, and it was a boy. My DS cried! I was OK- because I knew boys!

As I get older, and my boys get older (they are now 17 and 13), I realize that I was meant to be the mom of boys. Other moms of just boys probably know what I mean. And perhaps, if I had only girls, I would have felt like I was a "girl" mom. But either way, you love them no matter what! They are a part of you- they are awesome- and boy or girl- they are just your kid in the end!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:55 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by pigletgirl View Post
Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
19 years ago, I was you. Except that I found out during the ultrasound that it was a boy. Totally incomprehensible to me -- of course it would be a girl! I'm so glad I found out at 4 months -- I needed the extra time to recover.

That said, it was amazing having a boy, and I wouldn't trade him for anything, and I actually have a closer relationship with him than I do with my daughter -- our personalities are the same.

Get the ultrasound; prepare yourself. And then enjoy your baby.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:30 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by pigletgirl View Post
Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
I know how you feel...

I had a six year old DD when I got pregnant with#2. She REALLY wanted a sister, and I really wanted her to have a sister because I always wished that I had one myself. When I had the Ultrasound that showed the baby was a boy, I cried for days. I was heartbroken for my DD that she wasn't going to have a sister, and I knew that there was definitely NOT going to be a #3. It lasted a couple of days, and then I got over it. Once he was born, I couldn't imagine not having my little boy.

If it's not what you want/expect, you probably will have a little bit of guilt and some sadness, but in the end, you'll get over it and be thrilled. Really.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:30 PM   #34
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I am over here tearing up!
It's so nice to be able to relate to others about this! It feels like such a faux pas to be upset or disappointed in your own child's gender. But, we love our child regardless and we will be definitely finding out. Tomorrow is my birthday and I intend to not let this get in the way.

Thank you again for your kind words!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:41 PM   #35
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Yes, another one here who can say that I totally understand, and that this is completely normal !

I actually experienced a little of the same thing when DS was on the way. And, this knowing that he may be my only.
Which he is.

I can tell you that I have never ever looked back, and can not imagine anything better!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:00 PM   #36
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It sounds to me like you're not really dreaming about having a girl -- you're dreaming about having a specific kind of child who will have a specific kind of relationship with you, and it happens that that child in your head is a girl. But you could have a daughter who turns out to be totally different than the one in your head. The ultrasound determining your child's biological sex is not like ticking off a checkbox: "Yes, your child will be EXACTLY what you wanted" / "No, your child isn't going to be what you wanted, and therefore you're going to be disappointed."

My point is that I think you should let go of the idea that knowing the child's gender will offer you any clue about who your child will turn out to be, and just look forward to getting to know them when he or she arrives.
Good point!! I have 2 girls who are the least girly girls I know! No American dolls, Barbies or dresses for them. And now that they are teens, they are still sort of tomboys.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:09 PM   #37
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I think it's normal. I wanted girls each time I was pregnant... I wouldn't even know what to do with a boy. But I think you'd surprise yourself and it would be just as fun for you (just a different kind) if it was a boy.

I personally always found out the sex because I'm a chronic planner and had to decorate accordingly!

If/when we go for a third, I know my husband is desperate to have a boy. I want a boy for him, sports/coaching/boy stuff and all.... but the thought of it seems less fun to me too.

Weird and irrational fears with part of my pregnancies lmao - I think my favorite was the constant fear that I was going to have twins, and while in utero one twin would start eating the other

Enjoy the pregnancy. You'll be fine either way! Promise!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:25 PM   #38
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I completely understand hose feelings and think its natural. It's not fair for anyone to try and tell you differently. They are your feelings.

With my first I knew from day one that it was a boy. Once confirmed we had his name that afternoon. With my second I wanted a girl soooooo badly. I was convinced it was a girl. I had an Ultrasound at 15 weeks because I couldn't stand not knowing. It was disappointed when they told me he was a boy. I can only think those feelings are normal! I knew I'd be disappointed at first a little bit but that is also why I wanted the ultrasound. I didn't want even one millisecond of the birth to be dissapointment over gender. Now that he is 2.5 I can't imagine my world without him. He is amazing .... Very loving very cuddly. Opposite of my first son.

We are on the fence on having number three but have decided to wait for now. I'd find out gender then too, at this point more because I couldn't stand the not knowing. I am one that enjoys the anticipation of a vacation as much as the vacation itself. This is similar to me! I'd love to have a girl but it scares me too. I know little boys now. I don't know the first thing about little girls! Lol. A third boy would be so much cheaper too!!

No matter what ... Your feelings are normal and your baby will be perfect no matter what! Congrats!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:30 PM   #39
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TOTALLY normal! I really wanted girls. I have always worked with girls and felt clueless if I had to deal with a boy. Was thrilled when dd was born. Second pregnancy wanted another girl for them to be "sisters" and have a close relationship. Was kinda bummed when I found out I was having a boy. I liked the ultrasound because then I had time to process it. I was happy with having a boy by the time he was born (ok, there was a small part of me that was hoping the ultrasound was wrong) and I love my ds, 2, to pieces!!!!!! Definitely love at first sight!!! I wouldn't trade my little boy for the world!!!!!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:46 PM   #40
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Growing up, I wanted a boy first and then a girl since I always wished I had an older brother.

With my first pregnancy I was convinced I was having a girl from day one since my due date was my birthday. Silly, but I did end up having a girl.

I got pregnant the second time and didn't really have a strong feeling one way or the other. Sadly, I miscarried at 12 weeks and then felt like I had lost a son.

I got pregnant again and figured I was having a girl. I was one of two girls and saw myself as the mother of two girls. However, my pregnancy was so different that I soon felt like I must be carrying a boy. It turned out that I was.

I didn't think I'd know what to do with a boy, but I figured it out real quick. I love both my kids but at our house we do have "daddy's girl" and "mommy's little man". Now that they are in their teens our dd likes to shop and hang out with mom and ds loves to hunt and fish with dad, but in the end she's still daddy's princess and he is my buddy.

I am glad I have one of each. I get to experience all of it.

OP - I did not know the sex of either one of mine until the minute they were born. I loved it that way. No matter what sex your baby is, you will think he or she is the most wonderful baby on the planet.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:52 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pigletgirl View Post
Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
I have a friend who felt exactly the same way & even went so far as to say how disappointed she'd be if she had a boy. You can probably guess what happened But, she absolutely loves that boy & everything about him
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:17 PM   #42
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Yes, I think you are crazy.

It doesn't matter. If you are a good mom and attentive to your child you will have a great relationship with them. If you start off unhappy that the child isn't a girl then you aren't starting off on a good start.

I have boys and have great relationships with them. My married son comes over just to visit with me. My mom is shocked! I love it!

Good luck to you and I really hope you can change your attitude.
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:17 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Gumbo4x4 View Post
I have a friend who felt exactly the same way & even went so far as to say how disappointed she'd be if she had a boy. You can probably guess what happened But, she absolutely loves that boy & everything about him
I think this is toatlly normal. My sister's kids are 14 years apart. Her first was a very rambunctious, full-on ADHD boy and she sincerely wanted to have a girl the second time. Well, she got another boy, just as rambunctious as the first. DSis was very disappointed the first week, but she got over it and has really enjoyed her boys. She just got her first grandchild, a girl, and she is OVER THE MOON.

I didn't have an ultrasound wiht my first pregnancy--they didn't do them much back then--but I "knew" it was to be a boy. And it was! Second time around, I really really wanted a girl. And it was! When I got pregnant the third time, I wanted a girl mainly because the last two would be 2 years apart and I figured they could share a room. Well, the best laid plans and all that....the last one turned out to be a boy and I was rather disappointed. Our house only had 3 bedrooms and I couldln't put the baby in the oldest kid's room--Oldest DS was 9 years older than the baby! Fooo...

But it didn't take me long to get over myself. We made a 4th bedroom in the basement. Life went on and in the end it was a good thing that Christian was a boy. I wouldn't take a milllion dollars for that boy! He's the light of my life.
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:25 PM   #44
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Yes, I think you are crazy.

It doesn't matter. If you are a good mom and attentive to your child you will have a great relationship with them. If you start off unhappy that the child isn't a girl then you aren't starting off on a good start.

I have boys and have great relationships with them. My married son comes over just to visit with me. My mom is shocked! I love it!

Good luck to you and I really hope you can change your attitude.
Down lion! *whapish*

It's not like her feelings aren't normal for some people - not you. That's cool. No reason to chastise someone who has dreamed of tiny dresses, bows, and glitter wondering what she'll do if her baby is a boy. Being a first time mom is hard enough! She's just questioning herself and her feelings, like we all have in such a bloated and vulnerable state! Just nerves!
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:51 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by holycow
Yes, I think you are crazy.

It doesn't matter. If you are a good mom and attentive to your child you will have a great relationship with them. If you start off unhappy that the child isn't a girl then you aren't starting off on a good start.

I have boys and have great relationships with them. My married son comes over just to visit with me. My mom is shocked! I love it!

Good luck to you and I really hope you can change your attitude.
Your name "holy cow" is very fitting because that's what I was going to reply to this post! HOLY COW! She didn't say she didn't want the child if it was a boy!! Just because YOU don't understand her feelings that DOES NOT mean she's crazy!! Nothing like kicking someone when they're down! Jeez!
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