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Old 12-06-2012, 02:44 PM   #16
erin1715
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Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
Speaking as someone who could not have children I would have been thrilled to have been able to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.
I agree. Speaking as someone who has been trying for a baby for almost a year and a half and is going through infertility testing, I would be happy with a healthy baby, boy or girl. Count your blessings.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:50 PM   #17
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Skip discovering gender until birth. We didn't know with either one, I was convinced DD was another boy and I was perfectly ok with that, I "knew" how to do boy Well, the universe had other ideas and we were blessed with the Princess.

I have totally different relationships with my kids but I will say I "get" my son much better than I "get" my daughter, she is 14 and is still something of a mystery to me, there is nothing about us that is similar but I love her dearly and we are very close, she just confuses me, often I am very close to my son, we think the same.

I think that there is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed at first, I think it is probably way more common than many people are willing to admit to.
We hear "I just want healthy" blah blah blah and while that is very true, that is what we all wish, many of us also wish for a certain sex for a myriad of reasons. We don't always get what we want and disappointment would be normal.

Congrats by the way, and like so many have said, it won't matter the minute they hand you that baby!
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:58 PM   #18
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Good friends of mine paid around $25,000 and a trip down to the states to do the procedure where they specifically select the gender of your baby. She really wanted a girl as she had two boys already. This procedure is not authorized up here in Canada, but is allowed in the US. It worked out quite well for her. She delivered a healthy baby girl.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:59 PM   #19
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I can understand your feelings.
I sooo wanted a son for my first child, although my coworkers at the time, most of whom were older and had children already, told me the way I was carrying they thought it was a girl.
Nope, it's a boy, I would say.
The ultrasound tech said she was pretty sure it was a girl. I was still hoping it was a boy.
Lo and behold, when she was born, it was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt...that ex-h and I had created this tiny little perfect being.

I finally did get my son, and I must agree, there is definitely a special bond between mom and son.
If you do find out the baby's sex at your appointment, you will have plenty of time before the baby is born to sort through your feelings.
And until then, try not to worry about it.
If you do find out it's a boy, look around when you're out and about, and see how little boys are. Yes, they can be loud and rambunctious (I am quiet and fairly laid-back, that part about boys really frightened me) but turns out my son is the most easy-going of my children. My dmom and I are really close, but my dd's are quite the independent young ladies so we don't have the closest of relationship, actually. I think my son and I have a closer relationship.
The closeness part may also depend on the fit of your personalities.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:04 PM   #20
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I have 3 kids. Never found out what I was having. I had 2 girls and then a boy. I will admit to wanting a 3rd girl and even a split second of dissapointment when they said 'It's a boy!". Now, that little boy is the love of my life, he is so much mushier than his sisters ever were, he evn still hugs and kiddes me, cuddles with me at almost 12. He's the dream I never knew I wanted come true.
me too! I thought boys?! what do you do with them?

my ds is nearly 16,still gives lovely hugs and kisses,and is an absolute joy every day.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:08 PM   #21
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irst of all - ignore the comments from the few that are projecting their own disappointments onto you and making it seem as if you don't want this baby. I know you are thrilled to be having a baby.

It's NORMAL to wish for one gender or another and to think you will be disappointed. Many women and men have a preference for one reason or another and may experience some disappointment or doubt. As other have said when your baby is born you will take one look at him or her and what you thought you wanted just won't matter. In fact it's very likely you will take one look at the ultrasound, find out the baby is healthy and just won't care if it's a boy or a girl.

Having said that I too wanted a girl with my first. I wanted the relationship I did NOT have with my mom. My first was a boy and there was a small moment when I was sad but it really was very brief and to be honest at that point it was more over not getting to decorate a frilly nursery @@

I have 2 sons and a daughter now. I love my daughter to pieces, I am so glad I have her but my sons are my little love bugs. (they are 14 and 9, my dd is 11)You have no idea what the connection is between a mom and her boys until you have a boy. It's totally different in so many different ways.

Congratulations!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:09 PM   #22
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I had my dd first, and was so sure I was going to have another girl. I was PETRIFIED when I found out my 2nd was a boy - just because I knew NOTHING about boys! Well, let me tell you- he has my heart so completely! I found out that I love being a boy mom just as much as a girl mom! Our relationships are really different too - my dd loves to argue with me (sometimes I think just for the sake of arguing) while ds is always so concerned with how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking etc. They are both so much fun. And the kicker is you just won't know how much fun until they are born! Don't feel bad for worrying about it - pregnancy hormones play into it, etc. Just know that once your sweet one arrives, you will love him/her with all your heart and it won't matter a bit whether it is a boy or a girl!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:13 PM   #23
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OP, it will be all ok. Sure you have this fantasy in your mind but in the end you'll be thrilled either way.

And don't let other people on this thread make you feel guilty for having these feelings/fears because of their circumstances.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:20 PM   #24
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I think I cried when I found out my second child was a boy. My DD was 6 at the time and I just could not imagine what I would do with a little boy.

But let me tell you, I got over it quickly and as soon as I saw his face, it was love! He is such a hugger and a loves to cuddle. He is 5 now and according to my husband, the only thing I do wrong is I dress him like a baby.

You will be fine if you end up with a boy! Your little boy will be so much more than you ever dreamed and he will be exactly what you need!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:23 PM   #25
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He's the dream I never knew I wanted come true.
Yes!!! I knew we could only have one baby, and I really, really had my heart set on a girl. I did find out at 20 weeks I was having a boy and it took me a bit to get over it. Of course I was so thankful and blessed to be carrying a perfectly healthy baby, but I was a little sad at the thought of never having a daughter.

Well, I believe things work out the way they are supposed to. I was totally meant to be the mom to a boy. PPs are right, there is a special relationship between a mama and son. DS is 14 now...I adore him and all his friends. Boys are absolutely a true joy.

I promise you...you will be thrilled and adore your child, boy or girl. And you will not be able to imagine having any other baby than the one God gave you.

Have the ultrasound, find out the gender, and then you can put this worry behind you.

Congratulations and best wishes!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:30 PM   #26
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It sounds to me like you're not really dreaming about having a girl -- you're dreaming about having a specific kind of child who will have a specific kind of relationship with you, and it happens that that child in your head is a girl. But you could have a daughter who turns out to be totally different than the one in your head. The ultrasound determining your child's biological sex is not like ticking off a checkbox: "Yes, your child will be EXACTLY what you wanted" / "No, your child isn't going to be what you wanted, and therefore you're going to be disappointed."

My point is that I think you should let go of the idea that knowing the child's gender will offer you any clue about who your child will turn out to be, and just look forward to getting to know them when he or she arrives.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:33 PM   #27
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And you know, all girls are fru-fru and pink and princesses and all boys are wild and loud and mischievous.

So, don't think you can't connect with a girl because of the stereotypes you see. My DD would not even eat in the Castle, let alone go to Bibbity Bobbity Boutique.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:35 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by SarahWeasley View Post
It sounds to me like you're not really dreaming about having a girl -- you're dreaming about having a specific kind of child who will have a specific kind of relationship with you, and it happens that that child in your head is a girl. But you could have a daughter who turns out to be totally different than the one in your head. The ultrasound determining your child's biological sex is not like ticking off a checkbox: "Yes, your child will be EXACTLY what you wanted" / "No, your child isn't going to be what you wanted, and therefore you're going to be disappointed."

My point is that I think you should let go of the idea that knowing the child's gender will offer you any clue about who your child will turn out to be, and just look forward to getting to know them when he or she arrives.
Yes, this is what I was relating too.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:38 PM   #29
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Thought before the ultrasound that our first child would be a girl. Nope. It's a boy. Then after boy #3 I was convinced we wouldn't have any girls.

On the table having the ultrasound with child #4 the tech said "She sure is moving alot." What do you mean???? SHE?????? DH and I went out to lunch and celebrated!

Each child has been a wonderful blessing to us, no matter what their sex is.

Congratulations! It's pregnancy hormones, you'll be fine.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:41 PM   #30
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I don't think you're crazy at all. When I was pregnant I had an extremely strong preference for a boy. Toward the end my doctor said the heart rate sounded more like a girls, I cried for the rest of the day. Obviously he was wrong (and ultrasound right), though I imagine if he had been a girl I would have been fine once she was born. As long as you're not still feeling this way 5years from now you'll be fine!
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