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Old 12-06-2012, 01:46 PM   #1
pigletgirl
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Help!

Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:47 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by pigletgirl View Post
Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
What if you don't find out the sex until the birth?
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:49 PM   #3
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I agree with PP. Don't do the Ultrasound if it's only to find out the sex of the child.

It's very exciting to be surprised at the birth of your child. Really, it is.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:51 PM   #4
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Boys have amazing relationships with their moms too. I dont know why you would get your heart set on one or the other. But I think the minute they put that precious bundle in your arms (boy or girl) the world with stop turning for a second and you will absolutely adore your child with every fiber of your being.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:52 PM   #5
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As soon as you see that precious little baby (whether on ultra sound or in real life) for the first time you will fall in love no matter what! I understand what you are saying but trust me when I tell you you may feel a little disappointment at first but it will go away. It doesn't make you a bad person....it makes you human! You will be just fine, I promise!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:53 PM   #6
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I was convinced my oldest was a boy - blue room, boy clothes, blue carseat... I had dreams, and could picture him in my mind. We found out at birth that he was a little girl, and I was thrilled!

For the next one, I was convinced I was having another girl, and so happy to give my dd a sister. Nope, found out at birth that I was wrong again! Got to use my boy name, though! And I was thrilled again!

Kind of wanted another boy with the third, since that baby would be closer in age to ds. Nope, another girl! And I was thrilled again!

So happy to have a boy and girl the last time around.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:58 PM   #7
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I don't have any advice, but I think I understand your feelings. DH and I really want a boy (well, DH is okay with a girl...after all, nobody says a little girl can't play ice hockey ). I know why I want a boy...DH's older brother has 2 girls and is done having children, so there's nobody to carry on the name; my MIL made a (quiet) comment some weeks ago about how "we have no little boys in the family;" and finally, I've had numerous reproductive organ issues since puberty and I can't bear the thought that I'll pass it all on to a daughter.

But I also know in my heart that even with a girl, once I carry her and give birth to her and hold her, my love for her won't be any different than if she'd been a boy.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:00 PM   #8
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When I was pregnant with my son, I wanted it to be another girl SO badly!! I was a little disappointed after the ultrasound and finding out we were having a boy...but as I got used to the idea I was good and even excited. Never ever would I have guessed how close me and my son would be!! He is so stinkin' precious to me, he is so loving and caring!!! I am so very glad that I have a son. I mean, me and my daughter are close...but I really have a special bond with my son. I promise you will love your baby no matter what!!!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:02 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pigletgirl View Post
Where do I begin,....

Ever since I have become pregnant with this baby, I've had the dream it would be a little girl. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and my desire would be to pass that on to my daughter. We have our ultrasound coming up (two weeks from tomorrow!), and I've started having this panicky feeling that it might be a boy. Why do I even care what's between the legs so much? The pregnancy, thus far, has been relatively smooth and the biggest thing I could ask for is a healthy child. DH really doesn't have a preference and he's supportive as he could be, although I feel like he doesn't understand.

Why am I feeling this way? I feel like my pregnancy won't be as exciting if it is a boy and it would feel like a loss of a dream.

Am I crazy?

Help!
Speaking as someone who could not have children I would have been thrilled to have been able to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:07 PM   #10
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I always envisioned having girls. I have two boys and love them to death. Like everyone said, it simply won't matter to you. Give yourself a break and forgive yourself for your wishes. Wanting a girl doesn't mean you won't love a boy more than you could possibly imagine.

I feel bad about the momentary disappointment when I found out each time I found out I had a boy, but it was a blip - not even worth mentioning. I honestly hadn't thought of it in years until writing this.

I still occasionally wish I had a daughter. (Other times I'm relieved I don't!) It doesn't mean I love my sons any less.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:14 PM   #11
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I wanted a girl when my sister got pregnant with what would be the first grandchild in our family. She had a boy and he is such a joy to me! There are no words to describe how precious little boys are. I do not have a son though but both of my sister's do.

We chose to only have one child but some days, even though I am 47!, my heart longs for a son. Boys have a closeness to their mom's that I love to see and lucky for me, both my nephews are sweet and loving to their aunt.

You'll be just fine with whatever you have!
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:21 PM   #12
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I posted a story about my MIL saying my SIL's unexpected pg was a disaster and got all kinds of flak for being upset saying a baby is a blessing. posters were saying i was being judgemental. Here this mom to be is just saying she isn't sure how she'll feel and people are telling her she should be happy no matter what.

To the OP, I completely understand. I wanted a boy. I found out during the ultrasound i was having a girl. I was very sad and wasn't sure how i'd ever relate to her. Growing up I had more boys for friends and just found it easier to get along with boys. However, the day I went into labor I was so worried the ultrasound was wrong! I just had to have my girl. Once they put her in my arms I couldn't imagine her being anyone but her. I did have my boy 2 1/2 years later. Once you find out you may be disappointed but once you have the baby it'll all be wonderful.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:31 PM   #13
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Well I wont be of too much help. I got what I was hoping for each time, although really either sex would have been fine.

I initially wanted a girl first but I changed my mind after a friend had a boy. Then I wanted a girl, got one, then another boy, got one. No way did I want 2 girls. Anyway, I love my girl, we share many things that the boys don't share with me, but I am here to tell you there is something between a mom and her son. My boys are more caring and loving than my girl. She is a wonderful child but there is a difference. My boys take care of me, even though I don't need them to and they aren't even grown yet. lol

I would get the ultra sound so you will be prepared, trust me, you will be fine with either. Maybe it will take a little while but as you feel your baby grow and get to know him or her you will be over whelmed with love for which ever sex it is.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:32 PM   #14
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If you do have a son, you will be ok. Yes, boys are loud, and can be messy, and rambunctious. But boys love their mommas like nothing else! I have such a cool relationship with my boys. And, it's pretty awesome being queen of the castle...no one to share the throne!!

Good luck!
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:41 PM   #15
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I have 3 kids. Never found out what I was having. I had 2 girls and then a boy. I will admit to wanting a 3rd girl and even a split second of dissapointment when they said 'It's a boy!". Now, that little boy is the love of my life, he is so much mushier than his sisters ever were, he evn still hugs and kiddes me, cuddles with me at almost 12. He's the dream I never knew I wanted come true.
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