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Old 12-06-2012, 02:16 PM   #61
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My mother always says:
"Be nice to people. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle".

So I'll be nice to you and say that I am sorry your co-worker annoyed you and I am quite sure that if your co-worker knew you'd be making a disparaging post about them on the DIS, they would have probably avoided you like the plague.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:30 PM   #62
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Wow some of you are a bit rough on the OP. Seriously chill. Your telling me every time someone 'over shared' you never once thought in your head "oh my goodness"?

I dont think the OP was being heartless as some of you claim. They're speaking the truth. Im a very good listener but even this annoys me sometimes. Im the type that doesnt do well with long winded stories. You need a ride, tell me so. Dont go into detail about what you had for breakfast this morning. Thats just me, i get to the point.

OP, i can relate. This happened to me this morning. I was out walking my dog and bumped into a man who wanted to pet my golden retriever. We chatted for a bit, which is fine. But then he went on about his personal life and how his parents died, his mom 'spoke' to him once, he's going to Cuba for a month, he has a cold, you name it. All i could think of were ways to make a run for it. It was irritating but it doesnt mean im a bad heartless cold rude mean poor excuse of a human being. I never met this man before but he decided to share personal details with me. Which is fine. But im not gonna say I care or even pretend to care because i really dont give a hoot about him or his life. I dont know him. I didn't say anything rude to him. I dont wish him unhappiness or sickness. I was polite and stood there and listened, then said goodbye when we were done chatting.

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Old 12-06-2012, 02:36 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyintoronto View Post
OP, i can relate. This happened to me this morning. I was out walking my dog and bumped into a man who wanted to pet my golden retriever. We chatted for a bit, which is fine. But then he went on about his personal life and how his parents died, his mom 'spoke' to him once, he's going to Cuba for a month, he has a cold, you name it. All i could think of were ways to make a run for it. It was irritating but it doesnt mean im a bad heartless cold rude mean poor excuse of a human being. I never met this man before but he decided to share personal details with me. Which is fine. But im not gonna say I care or even pretend to care because i really dont give a hoot about him or his life. I dont know him. I didn't say anything rude to him. I dont wish him unhappiness or sickness. I was polite and stood there and listened, then said goodbye when we were done chatting.

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I'm not sure where the "relating" is. It's complete stranger on the street vs. coworker in the hallway.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:49 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by EMHDad View Post
We live in a society where it is not only the norm, but expected for each other to ask the other 'how are you?' Except, 99/100 times, people only want to hear 'ok' or 'good'.

Fortunately for me, as a pastor, I am in a setting where people are more open, honest, and connected to each other than most places.
Fortunate for the rest of us that there are pastors like you!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:00 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by Bob NC View Post
I'm not sure where the "relating" is. It's complete stranger on the street vs. coworker in the hallway.
Not to mention the co-worker mentioned he had health problems that would prevent him from driving versus a stranger who had dead people talking to him. Slightly different scenario there.

I like the suggestion that in the future you ask your co-workers (the ones who you don't want any chance of a personal conversation with), "how can I help you with your work-related issue?" - or even if someone starts down the road with you telling you something you don't want to hear, just politely say "that's o.k., I understand and don't need the details". No need to come on the DIS and knock the poor guy for being such an over-sharer when in the future you can cut it off before it even gets to that point.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:01 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob NC

I'm not sure where the "relating" is. It's complete stranger on the street vs. coworker in the hallway.
Ya i figured someone would mention that. But its the same idea. Over sharing and me not giving a hoot. Lol.

I dont think the OP is rude for being honest.

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Old 12-06-2012, 03:04 PM   #67
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In all honesty, there are days when I don't care.
But on those days I certainly won't ask if there is anything I can help with, lol.
Other days, I'm there for you!
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:09 PM   #68
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I like the suggestion that in the future you ask your co-workers (the ones who you don't want any chance of a personal conversation with), "how can I help you with your work-related issue?" -.
I agree that would work.

Heck, after a few times you probably wouldn't have to worry about ANY personal conversation at work.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:13 PM   #69
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It sounds a little cold, but then again... I'm from the south.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:14 PM   #70
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I agree that would work.

Heck, after a few times you probably wouldn't have to worry about ANY personal conversation at work.
I thought the same thing
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:25 PM   #71
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I'm not sure where the "relating" is. It's complete stranger on the street vs. coworker in the hallway.
So the relationship you have with the person doing the over sharing makes a difference? Can you tell me where the line is so I'll know the next time whether I can be annoyed or not?
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:42 PM   #72
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So the relationship you have with the person doing the over sharing makes a difference? Can you tell me where the line is so I'll know the next time whether I can be annoyed or not?
Um, weren't you the one who said it had to do with the relationship in the first place? See below:

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Maybe you're more friendly with your coworkers. I do have some that I'm willing to share with and listen to them share. Someone who I simply say "hi" when passing in the hallway... not so much.

I don't expect the majority of coworkers to care about my personal life.
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There are coworkers who I would have no problem with them sharing this information. To me, it comes down to the relationship you have with someone.
You apparently already know where to draw the line, and your line seems to be a bit different than many other people. For me, based on what you have posted here, I wouldn't have had a problem with it (and I might even do it to someone else.) It doesn't sound like he shared details of his illness/treatment/symptoms with you, nor does it sound like he cornered you into a ten minute conversation. Yeah, he could have been more succinct, but...

The point is that this co-worker didn't make the cut where you'd listen and be polite. (I know some people like that... some of them co-workers, but there's usually a backstory to it and it's an annoyance that built up over time. If this was an isolated incident, it really wouldn't have been a blip on my radar.)
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:51 PM   #73
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Um, weren't you the one who said it had to do with the relationship in the first place? See below:
As you point out, I do believe the relationship you have with a person matters. Others seemed to indicate it doesn't.
Quote:
You apparently already know where to draw the line, and your line seems to be a bit different than many other people. For me, based on what you have posted here, I wouldn't have had a problem with it (and I might even do it to someone else.) It doesn't sound like he shared details of his illness/treatment/symptoms with you, nor does it sound like he cornered you into a ten minute conversation. Yeah, he could have been more succinct, but...

The point is that this co-worker didn't make the cut where you'd listen and be polite. (I know some people like that... some of them co-workers, but there's usually a backstory to it and it's an annoyance that built up over time. If this was an isolated incident, it really wouldn't have been a blip on my radar.)
Who said I wasn't polite? I didnt interrupt him, I didn't say "I don't care." I actually did what he asked me to do... tell the other coworker he was looking for him.
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:52 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by design_mom View Post
Um, weren't you the one who said it had to do with the relationship in the first place? See below:





You apparently already know where to draw the line, and your line seems to be a bit different than many other people. For me, based on what you have posted here, I wouldn't have had a problem with it (and I might even do it to someone else.) It doesn't sound like he shared details of his illness/treatment/symptoms with you, nor does it sound like he cornered you into a ten minute conversation. Yeah, he could have been more succinct, but...

The point is that this co-worker didn't make the cut where you'd listen and be polite. (I know some people like that... some of them co-workers, but there's usually a backstory to it and it's an annoyance that built up over time. If this was an isolated incident, it really wouldn't have been a blip on my radar.)
Thanks
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:53 PM   #75
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My thought is thati spend 9-10 HR/day with coworkers. I want to have a friendly relationship with them. Of course, some things could be extreme but I don't think this man was.
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