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Old 12-07-2012, 11:14 AM   #31
Cannot_Wait_4Disney
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"Watch how the guy treats his mother and his sister and the waitress. Because eventually, that's how he's going to treat you once he's done being on his best behavior.")
Especially the waitress. Watch how they treat people they don't have to treat well. The signs will be there.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:16 AM   #32
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Ok, Your first post wasn't that clear.

The guy's a loser. If he calls, don't answer.
I am not the op. I was just making a joke because you commented a full day after this thread was started.
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Old 12-08-2012, 12:32 PM   #33
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Well, if you're going by how he treats his sister, it sounds as though he went to another city to help her with something. That might be a good sign! OTOH, he sure could have and should have called prior to missing your date. That's not good.

I'd be interested to hear from Dismom2005 who seems to have dealt with poofers. What would Dismom do next?
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Old 12-08-2012, 02:37 PM   #34
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I don't think it was mentioned what the age of this person is, but if they are 25 or older and don't have enough consideration to text before missing a date.....forget him totally. By the age of 25 the brain is fully developed and so he is showing his true self.

If if is younger than that....he isn't ready to be real relationship yet, so forget him for now, but if you run into him later on and he seems more mature, then a second chance would not be unreasonable.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:02 PM   #35
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I want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I gotta think that he was not that interested in following up the first date. Maybe he was afraid of hurting your feelings or something like that. I think that in general people are good natured and do not want to hurt someone on purpose.
But what the heck do I know about dating, I have been with my girl for eight years, we don't really date anymore.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:07 PM   #36
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he is not that into you... i would move along. you dont need him op!
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:18 PM   #37
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It doesn't get any better with age, either. I was widowed in my late 50's and started dating a few years later. My first date was so traumatic I almost gave up on it, but I plowed on. It seemed like so many guys in their 60's were, for lack of a better work, "damaged". They had either given up on life or were so bitter from previous experiences that they didn't make good prospects. OR, they were looking for a nurse or a purse or both. I wasn't meeting "Mr. Right"......I was, however, meeting "Mr. Bitter", "Mr. Bankrupt", "Mr. Slobby", "Mr. Downrighy Wierd", "Mr. Psycho", and "Mr. Still-Married". Anyway, I perservered and met my ideal guy three years ago and we're set for life. I could not be happier.
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Old 12-08-2012, 06:32 PM   #38
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You could do what my husband and I did. We met because we sat across from each other at work and started chatting there (as in being work friends.) Then he got let go (he was a temp...I was permanent) and I sent him a message on Facebook letting him know I'd miss him (I was assuming I'd never see him again.) He added me as a friend and a month later he sent me a message out of the blue asking if I wanted to do something for my birthday. We got to know each other better as friends and got married 7 months later. I tried the blind date/online dating thing first but I hated it too.
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:02 PM   #39
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Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:04 PM   #40
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I wasn't meeting "Mr. Right"......I was, however, meeting "Mr. Bitter", "Mr. Bankrupt", "Mr. Slobby", "Mr. Downrighy Wierd", "Mr. Psycho", and "Mr. Still-Married". Anyway, I perservered and met my ideal guy three years ago and we're set for life. I could not be happier.
This is funny to me! Because all the guys I've dated since I was divorced get a name like this, to describe them...there was Mr. Publix, Mr. Microsoft, Mr. Trainer, Mr. Painter, etc, etc....thought I was the only one!
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Old 12-09-2012, 02:17 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by Aurora63 View Post
Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.
This seems so inappropriate that I'd be tempted to make a date, not show up, and text him a day or so later. I would have ignored him, but good grief he deserves to be messed with! He's either the dumbest guy on the planet or he's specifically looking for someone who is willing to be walked on. Kind of scary actually.
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:12 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by Aurora63 View Post
Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Oh don't make another date! He is the person he is going to be and at that age he is not going to mature or change.
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:01 PM   #43
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Speaking from experience long ago*, I can tell you it's not just men.








*--Been married for awhile and wouldn't ever want to have to date again. Too much work. As Louis CK said, "I'd have to get all this (pointing to himself) showroom-ready. Right now, it's pure functionality."
I never expected to end up divorced and when I heard Louis CK's skit about divorce I almost died laughing it was SO true. LOL

And dating does suck. I've been lucky but it's still so hard to figure out how this whole "early relationship" thing works. Ugh!
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:27 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Aurora63 View Post
Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.
You are saving yourself a lot of hassle for sure! (BTW, wife was the first thing I thought too. )
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Old 12-10-2012, 09:34 AM   #45
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Originally Posted by Aurora63 View Post
Hello, OP here.

For those wondering, the man in question is 41. Way old enough to know better.

Not that into me...I'm sure this is a possibility and even a probability. Though it is strange, in the days after our first date, I received a barage of texts from him, everything from good morning to when can we get together again? So I think maybe he was into me, at least at first...I don't think I responded in any way that would change that, but I am wondering now if maybe he has a girlfriend or, even worse, a wife.

In any case, I ignored his first apology text for a day, then heard back from him the next day, at about 6:50 in the morning...he knows I am on my way to work at about that time, saying "Hey sweety, good morning, did you get my text?" SO I was cordial and said yes, and that I hoped his sister was doing better. So of of course then he wanted to get together again, that night, but I told him I had plans...which was true.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last from him, but Im still looking. For other guys, I mean.
Here is my interpretation based solely on this post. He was probably going out with a few women, one of them being you. Nothing wrong with that, that is what you do when you are dating. Maybe at first he intended to go out with you again but in the meantime one of the other women has developed into something and he decided to see where that goes. Of course he could have just been looking for a hook up and figured out after one date and the tone of your subsequent texts that it wasn't going to happen and moved on to someone else but I have no reason to jump to that conclusion instead of the first one.

Every guy that doesn't call you back isn't cheating on a wife or girlfriend, in fact the majority aren't, just like the majority of men aren't pedophiles as another thread would have you think.

Good luck.

Last edited by FireDancer; 12-10-2012 at 09:42 AM.
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