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Old 12-06-2012, 10:53 PM   #31
Rylee
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I'm trying really hard to find some Christmas spirit, I really am.

My Mom died last year, 3 days before Thanksgiving. We have 5 kids, including a 10 & 13 y/o, so we did put up a tree and buy gifts, but that was it. Everyone told me this year would be worse because I was still in shock last year but this year it would really hit me. It has been an extremely sad year for me/us, my children were very close to her, too.

I lost one of my closest friends in Mar. 2010, (then her husband was tragically killed in a car crash 1 month and 1 day later) my step-father died in Dec. 2010, then my Mom last Nov. Thank God for my wonderful husband, (his Mom died the day after Xmas in 2000) and children because it feels as though my world has been pulled right out from under me.

Throw in that my SiL's cause drama at Xmas every year, and they decided that just because we buried my Mom Thanksgiving weekend, would be no exception last year, so we haven't spoken to either of them since then. I'm really hoping they'll just leave us alone this year.

I just need a "breather." I wish everything... sports games, work, grocery shopping, family commitments, DH's gigs, appointments, everything, could just stop for a little bit so I could catch my breath. Although, I am also keenly aware that those are the very things that force me out of bed every morning and keep me going and that's a good thing, otherwise I might pull the covers over my head and stay in bed... permanently.

I'll get through the holidays, I just need to find a new normal (because I am, and my life is, different now) but with life changing so quickly, it's hard to feel secure.

Wishing everyone strength, hope and peace, now and always.


*One of the little things we do... I set a picture of DH's parents, (his Dad has also passed) on a stand in the dining room, and next to it dangling on an ornament stand, we have an ornament with the Merry Christmas From Heaven poem. (I didn't want to place the ornament on the tree and have it just blend in with all the others.) On the wall mirror above the stand, I hang small porcelain angels from the top corners, and behind the photos on the stand, I place a battery candle to create a soft glow around the pictures, which we keep lit the entire holiday season. On Christmas eve and day, I light a real candle.

Last year, I added my mother's picture and a beautiful snow globe with the, If Tears Could Build A Stairway, poem.

It looks nice and it's one small way to include them and honor their memory during the holidays.



"Merry Christmas From Heaven"

"I love you all dearly
Now don't shed a tear
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year."

"If Tears Could Build A Stairway."

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane,
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:04 PM   #32
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Just can't muster the spirit this year. MIL went in the hosp the week after Tgiving. She's now in rehab and won't ever be going home again. We have guardianship of her so now we have to alter our plans for a quiet holiday together to go to KS, help get her settled in assisted living (which trust me she WON'T LIKE ONE BIT) and now I won't get to go see my daddy in WA state. Whom I haven't seen in almost 8 years. Because we have to go deal with Mummy. I don't begrudge her, we took on this responsibility when we took guardianship but we made the mistake of letting her stay at home against our better judgement. We knew then it wouldn't work. We're actually stunned she made it this long. I'm torn between my feelings of love and sympathy for Mummy (MIL) and my anger at her for being so stubborn and fighting us so hard on assisted living earlier this year. Had we been stronger or she'd been easier to deal with, I'd be spending the holidays with my Daddy, who has no one but me.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:10 AM   #33
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Luckily I havent had any major tragedy in my life recently, condolences to you that have. But I'm so not even thinking about the holidays. I'm in my last semester of college and should be graduating on December 15th, but (counting the two exams I took toady/yesterday/whatever) I have 4 exams and a lab report before then. Two exams today, lab report tomorrow, and finals on Tuesday. Then graduation rehearsal, getting robes, and directing relatives. So I haven't thought past much next Tuesday, honestly.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:28 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent7 View Post
Luckily I havent had any major tragedy in my life recently, condolences to you that have. But I'm so not even thinking about the holidays. I'm in my last semester of college and should be graduating on December 15th, but (counting the two exams I took toady/yesterday/whatever) I have 4 exams and a lab report before then. Two exams today, lab report tomorrow, and finals on Tuesday. Then graduation rehearsal, getting robes, and directing relatives. So I haven't thought past much next Tuesday, honestly.
Congratulations!!! That's a lot to be proud of and you still have time to get into the Christmad mood.

I am trying to do better. I have been putting off decorating the outside of the house but I made myself do it today. It did help make me feel a little better.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:38 AM   #35
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I don't want to do Christmas this year either. Every year my family gets smaller and smaller. Over the last several years I lost my brother, sister, both grandmas, father, uncle, two aunts and two very good friends. Through almost all of it I've had my boyfriend to hold me together. We were together 6 years until he was killed in a car accident this past August. I just don't have it in me to pretend to be in the Christmas mood. I'm working the evening shift at the hospital this year, and I might volunteer to work a double.
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:04 AM   #36
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I have so much going on and so many people pulling me in different directions that I'm not excited about the holidays either. I'd love to just go somewhere, anywhere to get away. Maybe next year...
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:50 AM   #37
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I'm having a really hard time getting into the spirit this year. We have our tree up, but that is it. I've barely done any shopping this year and really am not motivated to even start.

I can't even say that I have an excuse or a reason for being in the mood I'm in. The only thing I can think of is that really nothing seems to be a big surprise this year. My 15 yo already pretty much knows what he's getting so it won't be a big surprise for him this year. My parents asked for no gifts this year. My parents along with aunts and uncles made the decision that we weren't doing a family gift exchange this year (only buy for immediate family). I guess I just don't see much fun this year. Even my work has decided not to do an office gift exchange (we usually do a form of dirty santa). We got a Christmas card from the in-laws last night. The only note on the inside was "sorry we didn't see you at Thanksgiving. You missed a good dinner". No Merry Christmas or anything like that. Just a guilt trip. Well, I'm sorry we were sick and didn't want to infect anyone else with our germs and stayed home.

And yes, I know that the true spirit of Christmas isn't about the gifts. But, when so many people around me appear to be scrooges, it does make it harder.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:07 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissManda View Post
I'm having a really hard time getting into the spirit this year. We have our tree up, but that is it. I've barely done any shopping this year and really am not motivated to even start.

I can't even say that I have an excuse or a reason for being in the mood I'm in. The only thing I can think of is that really nothing seems to be a big surprise this year. My 15 yo already pretty much knows what he's getting so it won't be a big surprise for him this year. My parents asked for no gifts this year. My parents along with aunts and uncles made the decision that we weren't doing a family gift exchange this year (only buy for immediate family). I guess I just don't see much fun this year. Even my work has decided not to do an office gift exchange (we usually do a form of dirty santa). We got a Christmas card from the in-laws last night. The only note on the inside was "sorry we didn't see you at Thanksgiving. You missed a good dinner". No Merry Christmas or anything like that. Just a guilt trip. Well, I'm sorry we were sick and didn't want to infect anyone else with our germs and stayed home.

And yes, I know that the true spirit of Christmas isn't about the gifts. But, when so many people around me appear to be scrooges, it does make it harder.
I agree with the bolded 100%.

I love this holiday, from decorating, baking, and shopping but it's so hard when I'm doing everything myself. DH and DD13 are not into it at all... SCROOGES!
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:04 PM   #39
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Not really in the christmas spirit. I had to go across the united states from tx to Nc cause my father in law is very sick. He needs a quadruple byass and we do not know how long we are going to be here cause DH mom is wheelchair bound and needs help while father in law is in hospital.
My father is home alone in Tx and the anniversary of my mom's death is coming up also her birthday. She passed in dec 1998 and her birthday was the 22 of dec. Dad also misses his lil pumpkin who is with us in Nc . I mean his grandchild is the reason he has been more in the christmas spirit the past 4 years.

There is no tree up and most of em's presents are in tx I am just like blah
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:28 PM   #40
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Right now, I'm not. We aren't decorating, it's just Dh and I and we really don't care. I am having surgery on my ankle on Dec 17th and won't be able to get around much. I really just don't even care.

We are going to Atlanta tomorrow for out Anniversary and I want to see some of the lights downtown, and I feel sort of in the spirit in the moment, but it doesn't really change the way I'm feeling in general.

I lost my mom 4 years ago and things just haven't been the same. Dh is losing his job in January due to the company closing, that doesn't help my outlook.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:37 PM   #41
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Me.

Just not feeling the Christmas-ness. I haven't felt it for about 10 years, or since we moved to NC and away from my family. And since we no longer associate with DH's mother, our Christmases are just he and I now...which is actually quite pleasant. But it just feels like a nice day together. Not Christmas.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:05 PM   #42
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I really haven't been in the Christmas spirit so far this year. There have been alot of changes for our family this year. Also I am stressed at work and anxious about what could happen in the near future with jobs. DH and I took today off to do some shopping. I have been listening to Christmas music. I am hoping to find the Christmas spirit before long. I will say the music is helping a bit.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:59 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissManda View Post
I'm having a really hard time getting into the spirit this year. We have our tree up, but that is it. I've barely done any shopping this year and really am not motivated to even start.

I can't even say that I have an excuse or a reason for being in the mood I'm in. The only thing I can think of is that really nothing seems to be a big surprise this year. My 15 yo already pretty much knows what he's getting so it won't be a big surprise for him this year. My parents asked for no gifts this year. My parents along with aunts and uncles made the decision that we weren't doing a family gift exchange this year (only buy for immediate family). I guess I just don't see much fun this year. Even my work has decided not to do an office gift exchange (we usually do a form of dirty santa). We got a Christmas card from the in-laws last night. The only note on the inside was "sorry we didn't see you at Thanksgiving. You missed a good dinner". No Merry Christmas or anything like that. Just a guilt trip. Well, I'm sorry we were sick and didn't want to infect anyone else with our germs and stayed home.

And yes, I know that the true spirit of Christmas isn't about the gifts. But, when so many people around me appear to be scrooges, it does make it harder.
I could have written your post.

At this point, I just want it to be over. And that makes me even more sad, because I used to love Christmas and now it's just become one more chore and one more disappointment.

I had a feeling it was going to come to this and wanted to go on a cruise over the holidays, but my dh said no, he would step up and do more and have a better attitude. Yeah, right. That's why he spent the entire time putting the tree up -- the ONE thing I need is help with -- complaining about what a waste of time it was and how he'd rather not have a tree.

I'm done. Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Next year, I'm going on the cruise by myself if I have to. At least I'd be some place warm. With a drink in my hand.
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:09 PM   #44
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add me to the list.

i'm just not into the spirit of the holidays at this point.


i have to do some shopping for the ones within my four walls.

last year i shopped on the 24th and did gift cards and called it a day.


that option right now looks very good to me again.


2012 has not been our best year.
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:13 PM   #45
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So sorry about your best friend, op.


I'm not in the holiday spirit either. Have had some health issues this past year, as well as other family members having health issues too.

Hopefully the new year will be brighter!
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