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Old 11-26-2012, 12:40 PM   #91
mickeysgal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zandy595 View Post
I just couldn't justify the cost of a hotel room on top of what it's costing to fix the plumbing problem.
Part of me understands what you're saying but part of me says too flippin' bad.

I'd call a plumber and charge it if I didn't have the cash. Wouldn't blink an eye. Wouldn't regret it. I wouldn't go to a hotel - that's a hassle for me. I want the comfort of my home. All you'd have to do is do this once...maybe next time he would take you seriously and treat you with more dignity.

I demand more respect for myself and my children. I rate higher than a movie. He's being lazy and disrespectful. A movie can be rescheduled. If it were something more significant like being called into work, well, then I'd cope with the no water.

You do have me thinking where my shuts offs are in my house. Consider that a silver lining in this mess.
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Old 11-26-2012, 12:45 PM   #92
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I can see lots of reasons my dh might do something similar. All of them would irritate me, but that's just who he is.

1) trying to fix it himself rather than wait for the plummer.... my dh LIKES to tinker and would want to have a stab at it.

2) leaving for the movie anyway.... with my dh this could have two explanations. a) needed time to regroup before trying again and was unable to verbalize that to me. b) had been planning on this movie with his parents and was unable to think beyond what had been planned (this would be the most likely for my dh. He's a Sheldon Cooper in that he doesn't deviate from a plan easily. If he's upset/stressed he's even less able to deviate.)

3) not noticing his family is very upset about the water situation and dealing with that...... see #2 - Sheldon Cooper.

I'm guessing OP's dh might be like mine. In his head he had a plan. He didn't stop to think how it affected others. His inner Sheldon was ruling.

The character Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) has actually given us some good talking points over the years. DH can see some of Sheldon's extreme behavior in himself when it's pointed out.

OP if your husband is like mine, it might be a few days before he's able to process this and see your side of it. I'd revisit it later in the week so you can "kiss and make up" and agree on expectations for the future if something similar happens.
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Old 11-26-2012, 12:59 PM   #93
mickeysgal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disykat View Post
I can see lots of reasons my dh might do something similar. All of them would irritate me, but that's just who he is.

1) trying to fix it himself rather than wait for the plummer.... my dh LIKES to tinker and would want to have a stab at it.

2) leaving for the movie anyway.... with my dh this could have two explanations. a) needed time to regroup before trying again and was unable to verbalize that to me. b) had been planning on this movie with his parents and was unable to think beyond what had been planned (this would be the most likely for my dh. He's a Sheldon Cooper in that he doesn't deviate from a plan easily. If he's upset/stressed he's even less able to deviate.)

3) not noticing his family is very upset about the water situation and dealing with that...... see #2 - Sheldon Cooper.

I'm guessing OP's dh might be like mine. In his head he had a plan. He didn't stop to think how it affected others. His inner Sheldon was ruling.

The character Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) has actually given us some good talking points over the years. DH can see some of Sheldon's extreme behavior in himself when it's pointed out.

OP if your husband is like mine, it might be a few days before he's able to process this and see your side of it. I'd revisit it later in the week so you can "kiss and make up" and agree on expectations for the future if something similar happens.
The bolded brings up a good point. OP, did you tell your DH that you wanted him to skip the movie and repair it pronto? Or did you keep that to yourself?

I have a girlfriend who would have not verbalized her feelings to her DH but would have complained to me about it. He wouldn't know that this was an issue because that is how they've always operated...with him pushing things to the back burner and nothing ever being urgent. Yes, he "should" know better, but if you give the impression that the repair can hold for just a few hours because you always enable by not opening your mouth and speaking up, what else is the guy to think - especially if this is the status quo in your house?

And yes, some guys need it specifically pointed out to them that this is one of those cases where sooner rather than later is necessary.
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Old 11-26-2012, 01:04 PM   #94
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I'm not a shrink but your husband sounds like he has a pretty major case of ADD or ADHD. Lack of being able to focus on what's important, inability to prioritize, suprise about other people thinking he's made mistakes...
ADD/ADHD takes it's toll on marriages, big time! He's not an idiot nor is he thoughtless(well, he IS but it's prolly because of ADD/ADHD), he just is unable to focus or process how his actions or lack of good decision making affects others. Good luck. Get him to a doctor for ADD meds. Lots of doctors specialize and would test him prior to prescribing. Just my opinion but I've seen it a lot.
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Old 11-26-2012, 01:14 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by mickeysgal View Post
The bolded brings up a good point. OP, did you tell your DH that you wanted him to skip the movie and repair it pronto? Or did you keep that to yourself?

I have a girlfriend who would have not verbalized her feelings to her DH but would have complained to me about it. He wouldn't know that this was an issue because that is how they've always operated...with him pushing things to the back burner and nothing ever being urgent. Yes, he "should" know better, but if you give the impression that the repair can hold for just a few hours because you always enable by not opening your mouth and speaking up, what else is the guy to think - especially if this is the status quo in your house?

And yes, some guys need it specifically pointed out to them that this is one of those cases where sooner rather than later is necessary.
To further my Sheldon Cooper analagy - she could very well have told him and he didn't "get" it. "But this movie was already planned" is what my dh would have said as he whistled and walked out the door. He would have understood that I wanted the water on, but his need to stick to the plan would probably have been more important to him. Me getting upset would just cause him to be more "right" in sticking with his plan because sticking to his plan keeps his universe in order in times of stress.
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