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Old 11-25-2012, 02:58 PM   #1
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How well do you know your SIL and BIL's?

I just realized this Thanksgiving I have been with my DH for 12 years, married for 7 and honestly I barley know his 2 sisters. I can tell you a bit about each of them but I don't think I have ever gone out to lunch alone with them or shopped alone with them. They do live in different states, but any messages are always relayed by DH. I could tell you a little about my SIL's husband, like 2 things and they have been married 8 years.

Is this unusual? Am I mean/horrible? To be honest, neither party seems all that interested in getting to know the other..
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:03 PM   #2
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One of my SIL's is my best friend, we were friends before my DH and I got together though. I work with another one of my SIL so we are very close as well. I am also very close with my DH's other sister. He has 3 sisters and I have a great relationship with all of them. I also have a great relationship with all my BIL's (sil's husbands).

My DH actually feels a little put-out when his sisters call the house to speak to me and not him.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:08 PM   #3
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I only have 1 sister & DW is an only child, so just the 1 BIL for me. I definitely spend more time with him than with my sister. My wife is at least as close to my sister as I am
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:09 PM   #4
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My SIL (brother's wife) is 900+ miles away from me, but we usually see them once a year. We just got back from spending a few days at Disney with them. We aren't super close "tell each other all our secrets" or anything but we talk on the phone and text or facebook message here and there so we aren't total strangers.

My BIL (DH's brother) lives in our neighborhood and is always around so I can know way more about him than I really want to.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:14 PM   #5
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We are basically the same way and ours don't live in other states, lol. First my dh and his brother are about as opposite as two people can be and second, we married pretty young (22 and 23) and started having kids by 26 whereas his brother & wife got married at 30 and waited 7 yrs to have their first. While our sons are 23, 19, and 16, their daughters are only 5 & 8 so we have little in common even in the parenting scheme of things. We probably see each other once or twice a year. Initially I had hoped I would be close to my sil since I lost my mom and have no sisters but we just have different beliefs as far as religion, family, politics, money, etc.

My friends that have lots of family and are together a lot seem to complain about all the drama anyway so perhaps we're better off!

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:15 PM   #6
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Nope. But then my sister and I live a number of states away from each other and never see each other except for family emergencies or tragedies. Not that we don't get along we just each have very busy lives.

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:17 PM   #7
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I know one SIL pretty well as we were friends before DH and I were a couple. I know her DH as well as either of us cares to know the other. We're as different as oil and water. He thinks I'm a knee-jerk liberal and I think he's to the right of Atilla the Hun. We're civil but we'll never be friends.

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:17 PM   #8
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DH has 3 sisters, each with husbands. His favorite sister & husband are very close to us. We spend a lot of time together, travel together etc.

She has a twin who is crazy, so we spend as little time with her as possible....pretty easy since she lives 1500 miles away. Her husband is...sort of just there. Not a nasty guy but no ball of fire. Not the life of the party. I think he is basically just betaen down by his wife's nastiness & Craziness.

DH's 3rd sister & her husband are OK....kind of whacky but tolerable in short doses. They also live 1500 miles away, so we see them in short doses.

I have one brother. He's OK. Kind of rough around the edges and can be a bit abrupt, but has a good heart. He & DH get along fine. We like his wife. About the only thing I wish about them is that they'd be a little more "proactive" with my elderly parents rather than "reactive". If my parents need anything and we or they call my brother, he is there in a flash. But he doesn't really initiate calls with them. He will stop in occasionally. But they are in their 80's now, so it would be nice for them to pop in occasiooannly just because and just to eyeball the parentals to make sure I'm not missing something. I see my parents at least once a wek and speak to them pretty much daily just to check in and make sure they're OK.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:28 PM   #9
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My SIL and I are friends. We like the same kinds of movies, books, and both love puzzles. We often go to movies together (planning on seeing Twilight once she is confident that my 4 month old niece will be ok without Mommy for 2 hours.) We talk books and exchange them on the rare occasion that we both don't already own the books. We are not best friends or anything, be get along great and like hanging out with each other.

I think your relationship with you in-laws really depends on if you have things in common. You should be nice and friendly to them, but you are not required to be friends with them. If it works out that you enjoy spending time alone with them, then that's great. If not, then that's fine too.

Last edited by Mel522; 11-25-2012 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:39 PM   #10
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My dh has a half sister and we know her and her dh very well. We go through cycles of seeing them a lot then hardly ever. Dh feels she takes advantage of my niceness and the easiest way to disentangle ourselves is to just stay away.

His stepsister and her dh we do not know at all. We see them maybe twice a year. Growing up, he actually lived more years in the same house as her than he did his other sister. But we are totally different from them and no one tries to get to know the other better.

My dh doesn't know my brother's wife very well. But I really don't either. She's from a different state and moved here with my brother a few years ago. She is very quiet while the rest of us (dh, me, my brother) are loud. I try very hard to do things with her and introduce her to my friends. She just seems very content to be alone. We do things together, just aren't as close as I thought we would be.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:55 PM   #11
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We live in different states so we don't know each other very well. We have a good time when we're together though. The one I know the least is my brother's wife, but they live the farthest away and we are very different. They're moving closer soon and I'm excited to be getting to know her better and confident we'll get along fine, but also know that we probably won't ever be super close friends and that's okay.
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:06 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by marmalade View Post
My DH actually feels a little put-out when his sisters call the house to speak to me and not him.
Mine too. I'm close to my SILs, but we don't go out often since we don't all live in the same area. If we did we'd probably go out together often.
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:24 PM   #13

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Been married 30 years. I have 2 brothers, both married that long also. My husband has two brothers and a sister, all married longer than 30 years.

They all live within 30 minutes of us. Neither of us are close to our families so we hardly know them. I don't even have the phone numbers of any of my husband's family and I couldn't find their houses. I see my brothers and their families twice a year.
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:27 PM   #14
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I spend more time with my soon to be sil than my brother... she's much nicer I take her everywhere with me. My brother is kinda jealous of this. Last time I took her to a concert she said he had tears in his eyes because I didn't ask him to go instead... lol now my dh's sister? yeah haven't seen her in almost 5 years and dont plan on seeing her anytime soon (if I can help it)
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:33 PM   #15
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I have been married 20 years and I know enough about my SIL's to know I do NOT want to get to know them better. Both are full of drama and are nosey. We moved a state away and one of the reasons was to get away from them.
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