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Old 11-20-2012, 10:31 AM   #1
SeaSpray


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A couple of minor vents....

I realize that in the grand scheme of things, these vents mean nothing. However, it'll make me feel better to type them. LOL

Vent #1: Last night my father in law called and invited he and his wife over to our house for dinner on Thanksgiving. I was looking forward to a very low-key day on Thursday. DH is on vacation this week, and I start a new job next week.

I like my in-laws well enough, but there's also a long story attached to the fact that they were looking for some place to eat on Thursday, namely the fact that for the last 15 years they've hardly bothered with us because they prefer DH's younger brother and his family. We've accepted this fact, but it's kind of funny now that DH's brother and the wife are separated, therefore not having dinner at their house, that FIL calls US and invites them (he and his wife) over for dinner. Ah well. It could be worse. Like I said, this is a minor vent.

Vent #2: Our neighbor is leaf-blowing leaves onto our front yard. He's forming a perfect line between our lawn and his, where his section is spotless and ours has the leaves on it. This is so totally not worth even talking to the neighbor about because he's an older retired gentleman whose wife will not allow him to smoke his nasty cigar in the house, so he spends his hours outside working on his lawn. LOL

I should add that yesterday DS24 cleaned up all of the leaves on our property so it's not as if our lawn is covered with leaves. This guy is just neurotic with his lawn. lol


Thanks. Vent over.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:39 AM   #2
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Here are some wooden vents, kind of minor...



Just an attempt to put some levity in your day.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:10 AM   #3
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sometimes it is better to get it out & let it go
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:21 AM   #4
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I do think that I would walk outside and say to the neighbor, "so you're gonna be picking these leaves up, right? You can't just leave them here." And say it with a smile.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:49 AM   #5
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Sometimes just getting it out just helps doesn't it?
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:52 AM   #6
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You're a better person than I...

1) I think I would have said we had not planned on making a big dinner, but you are welcome to bring dinner over to share with us, lol.

2) I'd be sorely tempted to go out and blow the leaves right back where they came from. Being an older retired gentleman whose wife won't let him smoke in his house is not an excuse for him to be rude.

Last edited by Shannon G; 11-20-2012 at 11:52 AM. Reason: because I can't type...
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:04 PM   #7
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1) If my FIL called and invited themselves to our house for Thanksgiving dinner and I wasn't going to be cooking I would just tell them that. "I'm not cooking dinner this year, but you're welcome to go out to a restaurant with us."

2) I would just spread the leaves back out and run the mower over them and mulch them. It's good for the lawn. We do it every year.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:11 PM   #8
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Thanks for the comments, everyone.

We *are* making a turkey dinner on Thursday. DH gets up early every Thanksgiving morning to prepare the turkey and get it into the oven. Then we have a nice leisurely breakfast, and wait for the turkey to cook. It's not so much that we'd have to do anything more than we're already doing, but DH and I really enjoy having our time off from work together, with just our DSs and ourselves. It will be fine. But we won't be letting them know what time to come to dinner until that day because we're not planning on any exact time.

Edited to add: I guess what's bothering DH and I is mainly the fact that ILaws only call us when DH's brother's family is not available. Every other year on Thanksgiving they'd either not see us at all, OR, stop at our house for a few minutes after spending the day at BILs house. Now get this: BILs house is LITERALLY a 2-minute drive from our house. LOL In past years, if we'd call to invite them to dinner, they'd say that they're having dinner at BILs house, and maybe they'll stop in afterwards.

Regarding the leaves, I was thinking of doing exactly what you said, MIGrandma!! LOL I want to mow up those leaves and mulch them back in to the ground. We mulch often, so it's not as if we'd be doing anything too out of the ordinary. LOL
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:21 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaSpray View Post
Our neighbor is leaf-blowing leaves onto our front yard. He's forming a perfect line between our lawn and his, where his section is spotless and ours has the leaves on it.
Our neighbors have a tree in the front yard right near our driveway. We do not have a tree. There is about 5 feet of our yard between our driveway and the property line. They clear the leaves up to the line and leave the rest on our yard. I don't expect them to do the entire yard, but really, they could do over to the driveway. It looks ridiculous.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:33 PM   #10
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I hear you on both complaints! I can relate to wanting a quiet dinner and also the leaf problem.

Just curious... in the past why didn't the whole family have dinner together then switch off whose house it would be?

Off topic, but when is your next vacation? I miss reading the trip reports!
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:37 PM   #11
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#1 - I'd call FIL and make sure he knows what to bring for dinner. "I know that you haven't been at our place for Thanksgiving in a while, so you may not know our traditions. For our meal, DH and I traditionally make the turkey and stuffing, and the guests bring everything else."

#2 - I'd go out into the front yard while your neighbor is still out there, start raking up the leaves, and then exclaim loudly, "OMG! I can't believe I found $100 bill in the leaves!!" Then rush into the house waving your arms and screaming in joy.

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Old 11-20-2012, 02:15 PM   #12
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I like your style OP!

Not everyone, as you can tell, would be able to shrug off either issue. You have a lot of class and are a very nice person, especially in the leaf issue. Poor old guy, they get really OCD about their yards, don't they!!? We have a neighbor like that but he hires a lot of his done. I'm wondering where your BIL is having Thanksgiving. Had you thought about that? Maybe your FIL will invite him to your house.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:33 PM   #13
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Since yall don't know what time dinner will be your in-laws might be offended. They need specifics AND they are upset re youngest son's troubles. LOL Of course they could come but they'll have to eat when it's done. I would NOT change times to suit them even if they say nothing. You better believe they do not understand the way yall run your household. Bottom line they don't have to it's your home. Poor in-laws lol I wouldn't do a thing re the leaves. That man might be rude or mean but he does have to live with that WOMAN. Oh along with the $100.00 I would say loudly about the great cigars there too. lol
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:40 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mefordis View Post
I hear you on both complaints! I can relate to wanting a quiet dinner and also the leaf problem.

Just curious... in the past why didn't the whole family have dinner together then switch off whose house it would be?

Off topic, but when is your next vacation? I miss reading the trip reports!
In a nutshell we were never invited to BIL's house because his soon-to-be-ex-wife is a psychopath. Seriously. She wore the pants in that family, and if she didn't like DH and I, then there was no way that BIL was going to invite us to their house.

SIL threw BIL out of their house exactly a year ago. Bizarre thing is, BIL will probably go to his former house (well, he still owns half of it) to have dinner with SIL and his sons (their sons are 24, 20, and 18).

My Inlaws are not invited to their house this year because SIL now hates them simply because she has decided that she hates his entire family, and wants nothing to do with them ever again. BIL has been "seeing" his estranged wife for the last few weeks. He told us last week that SIL told him "You can come back home, we'll get back together, but you can never see ANY of your family ever again".

There really is a LOT more to the family dynamics there, but fortunately DH and I have stayed out of it, and we see FIL and his wife on our own. They just have always chosen to see BIL and his family, as opposed to us. It's not that we dislike my Inlaws, but it's just complicated, and I let DH have the lead when it comes to how, when, and where we see them. I would never in a million years ever suggest to my DH that he not see his family members. I endured a lot of grief during the years that we were still "allowed" over to BIL/SIL's house, just because my DH wanted to see his brother.

My DH is the stepfather to my DSs, but we've been together since DSs were ages 6 and 9. They're now 21 and 24. DH has *always* treated my sons as if they were his own. (He was never married before and had no children of his own). Yada, yada, yada... like I said, they have strange family dynamics in DH's family, which DH doesn't like at all, and I think that all of these things has made our family of 4 a closer unit because we've always done everything together, without extended family nearby.

MY family is all in NJ (we're in MA), and ALL of us get along awesomely. DH loves my family, and they love him.

I should add that DH has one more sibling, a sister, who lives in Virginia. She and her DH are awesome, and we wish we lived near them, and my family. DH's DSis has been basically treated the same way that DH has been treated, by their father, stepmother, brother, and his wife.

Whew...didn't mean to type so much... LOL

P.S. Regarding our trips: Our last WDW trip was July 2010 and our last Disney Cruise was this past May. We have another semester of DS21's college tuition to pay for, then we'll be planning vacations again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shortbun View Post
Not everyone, as you can tell, would be able to shrug off either issue. You have a lot of class and are a very nice person, especially in the leaf issue. Poor old guy, they get really OCD about their yards, don't they!!? We have a neighbor like that but he hires a lot of his done. I'm wondering where your BIL is having Thanksgiving. Had you thought about that? Maybe your FIL will invite him to your house.
Thanks for your kind words. I don't know where BIL is having dinner on Thursday. I'm assuming that he'll be going to his house where his wife is still living. Like I said, it's a long strange story. LOL I will suggest to DH that he give his brother a call and invite him to dinner.
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Old 11-21-2012, 08:50 AM   #15
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Now that you've got those vents off your chest, hope you have a nice Thanksgiving!
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