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Old 06-14-2013, 12:24 PM   #1
kphwus
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Single Dads "Rules for Dating My Daughter"?

I've been away from the dis for way too long but now I'm back to seek some of the wisdom from fellow disdads.
Here's my dilemma...Since I am a single dad, my daughter doesn't have a mom around to act as a Buffer Zone between us when it comes to differences of opinions concerning curfews and certain attire when going out on a date.

My daughter is just graduating high school and I have had 0 issues or problems raising her. We have a great, open, honest and frank relationship but I know there are times when it's tough for her.

The few boys that have come-a-calling have all been respectful and it's easy to instill a little fatherly fear(or a lot) in them but little girls don't have that same fear about dad(probably because they know us too well). I'm just curious how other guys handle it.
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:47 PM   #2
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I'm sorry, DISDads don't let their daughters date. When they get to that age, it's of to the convent.

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Old 06-14-2013, 07:50 PM   #3
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A properly stocked gun case usually keeps them in line.

Of course said gun case is locked and totally secured.
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Old 06-16-2013, 08:55 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kphwus View Post
I've been away from the dis for way too long but now I'm back to seek some of the wisdom from fellow disdads.
Here's my dilemma...Since I am a single dad, my daughter doesn't have a mom around to act as a Buffer Zone between us when it comes to differences of opinions concerning curfews and certain attire when going out on a date.

My daughter is just graduating high school and I have had 0 issues or problems raising her. We have a great, open, honest and frank relationship but I know there are times when it's tough for her.

The few boys that have come-a-calling have all been respectful and it's easy to instill a little fatherly fear(or a lot) in them but little girls don't have that same fear about dad(probably because they know us too well). I'm just curious how other guys handle it.
Happy Father's Day. It sounds like you are doing a great job of single parenting - bravo to you. My oldest dd is 11, so I am still years away. But, it scares me because I know what every guy is thinking about.

I think you know this already, but your dd will tend to look for traits in guys that she dates that she sees in you. As for the rules with curfew and attire, just communicate to her what you think and the reasons why. Be prepared to negotiate on some things, and as such, intentionally start lower. So, if you can live with a midnight curfew, start the bidding at 10 or 11. At the same time, negotiate the consequences and let her select them. They have to be within reason. So, if she arrives home 30 minutes late, then she ... You might be surprised that she will select a punishment worse than yours.

Another idea is to put things down in a contract that you both negotiate and sign. You can include things like curfew, no drug use, etc., but the reward for following the contract will be half payment of a car or a nice vacation.

Good luck and keep up the great work.
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:30 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kphwus View Post
I've been away from the dis for way too long but now I'm back to seek some of the wisdom from fellow disdads.
Here's my dilemma...Since I am a single dad, my daughter doesn't have a mom around to act as a Buffer Zone between us when it comes to differences of opinions concerning curfews and certain attire when going out on a date.

My daughter is just graduating high school and I have had 0 issues or problems raising her. We have a great, open, honest and frank relationship but I know there are times when it's tough for her.

The few boys that have come-a-calling have all been respectful and it's easy to instill a little fatherly fear(or a lot) in them but little girls don't have that same fear about dad(probably because they know us too well). I'm just curious how other guys handle it.
BTW kphwus, Welcome back to the DISDads!
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:31 AM   #6
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Thanks for the tips guys.
Good idea about the convent, never considered that path. It would take care of the low cut tops and short dress issues.

The stocked gun cabinet would work but unfortunately she can handle a firearm almost as well as I do.

Yes good communication is the key. We've always done well in that regard and it's something we continually work on especially now that she is getting more grown up. When she was little she accepted the rule that she could start dating when she turned 32. That lasted until 12-13 but we worked it out.

I do believe it's harder to get through this age with your daughter than it is with your son. You don't want to have a double standard but you know what's out there waiting for them.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:32 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Cinderella's Fella View Post
BTW kphwus, Welcome back to the DISDads!
Thanks. I've been away too long.
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Old 06-17-2013, 03:30 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kphwus View Post
I've been away from the dis for way too long but now I'm back to seek some of the wisdom from fellow disdads.
Here's my dilemma...Since I am a single dad, my daughter doesn't have a mom around to act as a Buffer Zone between us when it comes to differences of opinions concerning curfews and certain attire when going out on a date.

My daughter is just graduating high school and I have had 0 issues or problems raising her. We have a great, open, honest and frank relationship but I know there are times when it's tough for her.

The few boys that have come-a-calling have all been respectful and it's easy to instill a little fatherly fear(or a lot) in them but little girls don't have that same fear about dad(probably because they know us too well). I'm just curious how other guys handle it.
You let your daughter date!

Seriously, I have a 10 year old so no worries for a couple more years. It sounds like you have done an excellent job raising your daughter. Since she has graduating, I assume she is 18? I'm not sure how I'll handle it when we get there. I would say support you DD any way you can and let the guy(s) know what your expectations are. Hopefully that will be enough. I have friends that have tried the "while under my roof" strategy and it hasn't worked well. I would prefer to know what is going on good or bad. Being too strict will just cause her to do things in the dark as they say. Good luck. I'll be asking you for suggestions soon.
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Old 06-18-2013, 06:57 AM   #9
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Old 06-18-2013, 08:59 AM   #10
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Can we put the DisDads logo on the front/left? I bet we could sell around 700 of them.
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