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Old 10-16-2012, 09:54 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by SaraJayne View Post
It's 21 in the US.
Not true. Since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, only 7 states and DC have an outright ban. Other states have set their own laws. In my state it is completely allowed for a minor to drink in their own home if a parent or guardian is fine with it.
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:01 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladypage

Not true. Since the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, only 7 states and DC have an outright ban. Other states have set their own laws. In my state it is completely allowed for a minor to drink in their own home if a parent or guardian is fine with it.
Whether that's true or not I couldn't say, but you definitely can't be serving alcohol to other minors even if it is.
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:03 PM   #33
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I really have to say, I see multiple people on this thread who say that their kid would never ever go to a party like this. Uhm, you sure about that? I would say it's kind of a normal experience to attend at least one. I'm not saying they have to get drunk, or would even drink at all, and I'm not saying they would try drugs, but really? You're going to assume that they will never ever go to one of these? Just because they don't tell you, doesn't mean they're not doing it.
I never attended or desired to attend these parties is high school or college. I don't drink, I never have, and I've never wanted to be around people who did. There really are people out here like me who are totally turned off and disgusted by drugs/alcohol and that type of "fun"! I love to have real fun, I'm almost always on the go doing things with friends and family and traveling, but a bunch of losers sitting around getting wasted, not my idea of a good time!
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:10 PM   #34
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Well, I'm a loser, because I went to plenty of parties with drugs and alcohol, and I even partook, and inhaled.

I would never give my kid permission to go to this type of party.

I would ever supply alcohol to minors.

I am not naive enough to think that my kids will never attend this type of party. I'm pretty sure they will do what normal kids do and lie or omit. I just hope that they will be smart about it.
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:11 PM   #35
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I didn't go to parties with alcohol in high school, nor did my husband. According to my older son, he didn't either. My younger son is still in high school.

Would I allow him to go to one? NO! If he did it anyway I would expect him to face any and all consequences at school and elsewhere.

Sometimes kids break rules, that doesn't mean there shouldn't be any rules nor does it mean consequences of broken rules shouldn't be enforced.

I would expect any adult knowingly involved to be prosecuted.
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:25 PM   #36
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I'm really surprised at all the eh doesn't bother me, I did it, attitudes. It still doesn't make it right nor safe. If I found out my kids were at a party like that or a parent supplied alcohol believe me someone is going to pay! We hear about drinking and driving teenage deaths a lot. What does it take to wake up some of these parents?
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:53 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by nchulka View Post
I never attended or desired to attend these parties is high school or college. I don't drink, I never have, and I've never wanted to be around people who did. There really are people out here like me who are totally turned off and disgusted by drugs/alcohol and that type of "fun"! I love to have real fun, I'm almost always on the go doing things with friends and family and traveling, but a bunch of losers sitting around getting wasted, not my idea of a good time!
That's fine, you're in the minority though, as far as I've seen and experienced. Don't get me wrong, like I said, I wasn't really in to the [party scene myself, and I respect those who don't drink at all. I think I went to one party after prom, was didn't partake in anything, and got bored and went home an hour or two later. But the majority of students will likely attend one party in their youth, whether they drink or not. The parents that assume this would never happen because their kid didn't ask specifically to go to a kegger would more than likely be surprised to hear they will or have.

Teach your kids not to be stupid, that's what it comes down to. Drinking in itself, isn't stupid. Lots of people do it. Binge drinking is stupid, drinking and driving is stupid, as is drinking pass your threshold. So unless your kid is 110% against alcohol and has never ever succumbed to any form of peer pressure in their entire lives, teach them not to do the stupid stuff. I'm not saying you need to condone underage drinking, or teen parties or whatever, but make sure that you discuss it with them. Don't just ignore it and act like one speech of "drinking is bad" is going to help.
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Old 10-16-2012, 11:04 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by vicki_c View Post
Whether that's true or not I couldn't say, but you definitely can't be serving alcohol to other minors even if it is.
Technically they can, if you're on private property and their guardian agrees. I guess no, the 18 year old can't be a bartender for the others, but the guardians can pour the drinks if they want to. Some states even have more lax laws. I'm just saying that it's a pretty common misconception that 21 is a magic number that you can drink at.



http://www.alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.g...to_Minors.html
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Some States provide an exception when alcoholic beverages are furnished to a minor by a parent/guardian or spouse. Some States specify that the spouse must be of legal age, while others do not. APIS considers a State to have a spousal exception even if the age of the spouse is not specified.

In some of these States, the exception for family members applies only if the furnishing occurs in a specified location, e.g., all private locations, private residences only, or in the home of a parent or guardian only. No State has an exception for furnishing on private property by anyone other than a family member.
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Old 10-16-2012, 11:13 PM   #39
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So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!
Heck no, and I am very glad that my son values his football eligibility enough to steer clear of events where he's heard there will be alcohol/drugs, not because he's a saint but because he figures if he's heard about the party odds are that parents and cops have heard too. He's got a "live and let live" attitude about things that his friends do that he doesn't partake in, but he is very focused on football and entirely unwilling to do anything to risk his eligibility.
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Old 10-16-2012, 11:21 PM   #40
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High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.
That would be it for me too. I'm sure DS will be (and maybe has been) hanging out at a friend's house while someone passed around a few beers or a joint. That's a pretty normal part of growing up, as much as we parents would like to think it isn't. But there's a big difference between that and the "party of the year" where there will be a ton of underaged kids drinking, loud music and traffic to attract attention, and probably a lot of drunk driving home if the police don't break things up.

I don't expect my kids to be perfect. Right now, my approach is just to remind my son what is at stake - a positive drug test or arrest would be the end of his football career because our program is too competitive to give second chances to kids who throw away a year of eligibility. It really would be life-changing for him because football is his biggest, most passionate interest, his reason for keeping his grades up, and the only thing that even gets him talking about college rather than trade school, so I hope he will continue to display the good judgment he has so far about major social events.
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Old 10-17-2012, 12:04 AM   #41
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Meh, when I grew up, that is all we did on the weekends was go to parties and drink (and drugs). Nothing else to do. Heck, my mom even bought the alcohol for my friends and I from the time we were 13. Most parents knew what we were doing. And it didn't ruin my life, I am now a Nurse Practitioner.
When my kids are in high school and want to go to a party, I just want them to know to not get in a car with people under the influence.
I'd be pissed if a parent was supplying booze to my 13 year old to take to a party where they would be drinking and doing drugs.


My friends and I did a great deal of drinking in high school (only we were resourceful enough to get our own booze). By the time I was 21 and finally legal to drink, it really lost its appeal for me.


DH and I always comment how "Mary Poppins" our kids and their friends are. Seriously, these are some pretty straight laced kids at the moment and that isn't me being naive. The things we were doing at their age compared to them is But they seem happy and I'm not complaining. My DD was asking me tonight how I went to so many haunted houses in high school because I really am a big chicken. After thinking about it, I realized I was hammered most of the time so it didn't bother me. I really am a horrible parent yet they seem to be turning out pretty darn good.

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Old 10-17-2012, 12:12 AM   #42
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This is something that DH and I will have to discuss, a lot.

I live in a very rural area, serviced by the state police, who are very rarely in our area since they have to cover the entire county. There is enough room between houses that the neighbors may never know there is a party going on, or more likely invited to it.

Did I attend these parties,, heck yeah. Did I do things that were illegal, heck yeah, did my parents know, yes. Did they approve, not so much, but it was more of a I would rather know you are out and drinking so we can get you home safe if needed vs sneaking out. I see myself doing the same for my kids.

By the time I went away to college, I didnt have the WOW im not under my parents rules so I can go and try this now.
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Old 10-17-2012, 01:24 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by nchulka View Post
I never attended or desired to attend these parties is high school or college. I don't drink, I never have, and I've never wanted to be around people who did. There really are people out here like me who are totally turned off and disgusted by drugs/alcohol and that type of "fun"! I love to have real fun, I'm almost always on the go doing things with friends and family and traveling, but a bunch of losers sitting around getting wasted, not my idea of a good time!
That is kinda going to the extremes. There are people out there that drink moderately without getting wasted. Not trying to say you are wrong, just that extremes are always bad. I drink but never in my life have I gotten wasted. Drinking doesn't mean that you can't have fun any other ways.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:13 AM   #44
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I'd be bummed if I missed a fun party!
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:25 AM   #45
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Boy am I glad that I live where the legal drinking age (meaning to buy t themselves and drink it without parental consent) is 16 for beer and wine. Seriously, the concept of kids getting into major trouble with the police and school and possibly affecting their ability to go to collage, etc over being at the wrong party at the wrong time is far too much of a nanny state and far too big of a consequence in my mind (NOT talking about driving drunk--only about BEING at the party).

Over the summer my DD15 shared an insight which I think is really true--she said that everyone says you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, and that makes sense EXCEPT these days the consequences have gotten so big that you are destroyed by mistakes instead of getting to learn from them--which means you pretty much have to be perfect all the time from the get go. This is why she feels that she and many of her peers suffer from increasing levels of anxiety and depression n her generation.

I think she is on to something. In my generation (highschool late 80s/early 90s) teens worried about how their parents would react and what consequences they would face at home if they got caught out at a party--but no one had to worry about their life being changed (loss of sports spot that affects college, etc) unless they were really stupid (drank enough to seriously harm themselves ,drove, etc).


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Teach your kids not to be stupid, that's what it comes down to. Drinking in itself, isn't stupid. Lots of people do it. Binge drinking is stupid, drinking and driving is stupid, as is drinking pass your threshold.

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That is kinda going to the extremes. There are people out there that drink moderately without getting wasted. Not trying to say you are wrong, just that extremes are always bad. I drink but never in my life have I gotten wasted. Drinking doesn't mean that you can't have fun any other ways.
Yep! That would be me. I have been drunk only once in my nearly 40 years. I was 15 (in Spain and it was totally legal)and had not had alcohol before and dd not know how it would hit me until it was too late. Even then I was woozy and things felt not steady but I was not drunk enough to be sick or to have a hang over the next day. I went to lots of parties in highschool and college. Mostly I did not drink at them at all, but I made sure that none of my friends did anything stupid and I enjoyed the music, etc.
Heck, these days I have wine (one small glass--more than that can feel an effect, which I do not personally enjoy)with dinner most nights and attend lots of local festivals at which beer and wine flow freely--but virtually no one is "wasted"
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