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Old 10-16-2012, 12:52 PM   #1
zoo2tycoon
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Underage drinking parties UPDATED INFO POST 68.....

Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!

Last edited by zoo2tycoon; 10-17-2012 at 08:22 AM.
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Old 10-16-2012, 12:59 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoo2tycoon View Post
Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!
Eh, where I grew up this was a pretty typical weekend thing, from the party to the drinking to the parents complaining. My parents thought they kept close track of me but obviously had no idea what was really going on.

Do you really think this weekend is going to change their future? In what way?
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:04 PM   #3
zoo2tycoon
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Not the weekend changing future BUT the getting suspended from sports and how that looks on college applications when they look into high school record.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:09 PM   #4
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1. I would not let my kids go and in fact, if they went out that night, I might show up at the party to see if they changed their mind and went anyway. If they did, there would be consequences.
2. I would make an effort to notify the parents, if I knew them. I would want someone to tell me about the "plans for my house" in my absence.
3. "Pretty typical" doesn't make it right. There is a risk for DUI resulting in a death or accident, or alcohol intoxication resulting in serious injury or death.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:09 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by zoo2tycoon View Post
Not the weekend changing future BUT the getting suspended from sports and how that looks on college applications when they look into high school record.
As long as it's a one-time thing, colleges aren't going to care. They ask the question on the application, the student answers truthfully, and writes a little essay about what he or she as learned, and that's that.

(Perhaps not true at, say, BYU or College of the Ozarks, but true pretty much everywhere else.)

I am an interviewer for a top 20 university. I see several of these every year. Really has no impact on the admissions decision.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:14 PM   #6
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I've never verified a party of my teens (although, most of the time, they are at friends' homes where I know the parents well). However, my dd16 is a junior in HS, and I certainly don't know all of her friends. I know they will encounter situations with drugs and alcohol, and I hope and pray they make the right choices. So far, so good (I always wait up for them, and really pay attention to their manner).

Now, if they came to me, and told me that they were going to a party, where there would be alchohol, and no parents, I'd tell them to stay home. However, growing up, I attended TONS of these parties (just gave the cops a fake name and number...).

The nice thing about living here is that, everyone knows everyone's business - I know the name of the freshman who got drunk and fell down at the Italian feast, and not from my ds14. Eyes and mouths are everywhere.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:19 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoo2tycoon View Post
Situation happened recently

THANKFULLY MY CHILDREN WERE AT HOME---we were aware of the event and our kids had no desire to go and were home!

Background....senior in high school turning 18. He plays football, has a younger brother who plays football and 2 other younger siblings. He announces he is having party (everyone knows drugs/alcohol will be there). There is really no parental supervision---parents want kids to be popular (really??) PARENTS WEREN'T HOME

So the big event happens and of course the cops come. Lots of kids get caught there---still sketchy about details. Have heard there was a keg (adult bought and that adult was arrested). Kids run and hide in a field, and try to get away. Not sure of what cops did (parents called???, heard breathalized all the kids they found).

So school finds out-and when they agree to participate in sports they sign paper saying their behavior on/off school property can result in discipline. Not sure of exact disciplinary action (contract kids sign if they do XYZ it is one thing ABC is another).

Some of these parents are of course throwing tantrums claiming kids innocent, not fair, etc (seriously). Several varsity football players are NOT playing in sectional game this week (way to treat your teammates).

So as a parent, if you heard of a party going on like this would you let your kid go? How close of a track do you keep on your teenagers (these kids were sophomores thru seniors)? This has been good learning experience---lets kids know ONE mistake can change your future!!
I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:19 PM   #8
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High school kids with beer? Oh noes! Heh.

Who knows exactly what parties/where their h.s. senior is every minute?

Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze? Not at all. Would I care if a high schooler went to a party with booze that was likely to get busted by cops out in some rural house? I'd care they were dumb.

I don't see how this would affect someone's whole life unless we're talking about people driving drunk, that's an entirely, entirely different matter.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:20 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wvjules View Post
I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.
Exactly. Not dumb.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:24 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pipkin View Post
1. I would not let my kids go and in fact, if they went out that night, I might show up at the party to see if they changed their mind and went anyway. If they did, there would be consequences.
2. I would make an effort to notify the parents, if I knew them. I would want someone to tell me about the "plans for my house" in my absence.
3. "Pretty typical" doesn't make it right. There is a risk for DUI resulting in a death or accident, or alcohol intoxication resulting in serious injury or death.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wvjules View Post
I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.
No way my kids would go to one of these parties. I didn't ever go to one of these parties. If I was at a party and alcohol came out, I left. My daughter had better do the same.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:27 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wvjules View Post
I drill "ONE mistake can change your future" into DD all the time. And I think she actually listens. Two weekends ago there was a party that her and her BFFs were going to attend. When they heard how big it was going to be they decided not to go because "the big parties always get busted" and they didn't want to get into trouble.
Yup, same here. DS has seen firsthand what "one mistake" can do with some older kids at our school.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:29 PM   #12
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I went to tons of underage drinking parties and my life is not ruined nor it affected my college applications. I got accepted into every college and university I applied. Your kids will probably end up going to one, it is important you teach them what to do so they don't get into trouble. I never did drugs and I only had two or three drinks as I mostly went to have fun and not get wasted.

I wouldn't notify the parents, especially if your kids weren't there, IMO that is just being nosy and getting into other people's business.

My parents always told me that they can't isolate me from the real world, but they did teach me everything to have fun without putring my life or others in danger.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:29 PM   #13
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18 is the legal drinking age here so I guess I don't see the big deal.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:32 PM   #14
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No, I would not let my children go, not gonna happen. When they're older teens 18+, meh, I really don't have a strong feeling about it one way or the other.

BUT..this was a regular occurance in my town when I was a teenager..and back then(I graduated high school in 1989), if the cops were called, they used to confiscate the beer and just kick you out of the house..sometimes even sending you off to your cars to drive away.
Minor in possession, calling parents, totally unheard of. You didn't get in any trouble at all. Never ever.


In fact, I knew one guy who used to collect money for another keg, and as soon as he had the money, he would call the cops on his own party, cops would come, shoo everyone away and he'd keep the money.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:33 PM   #15
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18 is the legal drinking age here so I guess I don't see the big deal.
It's 21 in the US.
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