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Old 10-12-2012, 07:04 AM   #31
aprilgail2
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Originally Posted by Kathi OD View Post
Even if they would rather be at home doing instead of her job, it probably won't be happening. In every school I've taught in, we were required to be in school for a specific time frame. This year it is 12:30pm to 4pm and then again from 6pm to 8:30pm for 2 days. .
I wish they had hours like that in our school- our conferences run the dame as a regular school days- last one is at 3pm which would be the end ofthe school day so if you work you either take off or don't go. They never have them at night.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:12 AM   #32
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I have 3 kids, they all do very well in school. I never saw a need to have a parent conference with the teachers. I saw it as wasting their time. They need to spend their time with the parents of kid who are having a difficult time.

If I want to meet and get to know the teacher I go to the open house at the first of the year, I also can volunteer. I don't need a relationship with her as long as she is teaching my child. This is one of the few areas where I don't overly involve myself.

To me, to demand otherwise is taking away time that could be spent on kids and parents that may really need some help. In other words, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

ETA, One in middles school, I stopped going to open house as well. No need to go there, we met the teachers at orientation.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:13 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by aprilgail2 View Post
I wish they had hours like that in our school- our conferences run the dame as a regular school days- last one is at 3pm which would be the end ofthe school day so if you work you either take off or don't go. They never have them at night.
Ours too. Hours are 8-3 on election day (school is closed, but most people are working) and 1:00-3:00 the next day (half day of school.) Very challenging for parents who work. (And equally challenging for teachers who have to accommodate a lot of working parents.)
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:17 AM   #34
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Wow. I can not imagine a teaching putting that note out, nor can I imagine not attending a parent teacher conference. My kids went to private schools, and the mindset there was if the child was doing well, maybe you needed to look at giving them more challenging materials. My daughter was a whiz at reading, and by the end of First grade, she had been moved up to the Fifth grade materials.
OUt teachers would simply send a note home stating this. My DS just came home last week and his English teacher said to talk to us about moving to AP English, we did and we called the registrar to let her know. All done, no need to go in and take up the teachers valuable time. One simple phone call an it was done.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:40 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Tinker'n'Fun View Post
: Me thinks the would rather be at home doing this instead of her job.

I usually do not tattle, but I wonder if the principal is aware of this teacher's policy and agrees with it.

You really think that the teacher is attempting to keep parents home so that she can watch TV or play video games? Seriously?

I raised three children and with two of them I could have skipped the conferences and still know exactly how they were doing in school. With my oldest, his teachers spent a great deal of time with me. As a parent, I knew how best to allocate my time to my children, which one was struggling and where my help was needed. And this was before email was used to communicate.

I went to all of the conferences but believe me, as I sat through the teacher telling me that Marisa was chatty but kind, was keeping up with all of her subject and did I know she was chatty? And Dan's teacher telling me that he was smart, very gifted in math, could use more time in social studies, was confident and paid attention to detail............I knew that the teacher I should be spending time with was the one my oldest son had. And that teacher needed more time with me. So that teacher would set up additional time in conference with me, certainly not home catching up on the latest soap opera. Betcha a buck this was going on all week long during conferences, parents who knew what the teacher was going to say and knew they should be elsewhere and teachers who would have loved to allocate that time to a parent who needed to be updated in order to better help their child.

I believe that for every child who is struggling there are children who really are doing fine. The teacher knows who they are as do their parents.
Honestly, it is amazing to me that anyone would believe that a teacher who has made multiple attempts to assure a parent that the child is dong well and is adjusted in class is accused of slacking off. Parents who feel the need to use that particular 15 minutes were not told to stay home, they were given assurance that it was okay to do so. They were also told that the door was open if there came a time that a conference was needed.

It is my belief that a teacher who paid no attention and simply was going through the motions would not bother to know which child's parents needed a conference. Much easier to set a timer and ding ding ding your way through all of them.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:43 AM   #36
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I would have been pleased to hear that from the teacher and I would happily skip the conference. Most of the ones I went to were the same kind - unless I had a real concern I'd stay home.
Totally agree!
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:51 AM   #37
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If the teacher wasn't having a problem with my kid, my kid wasn't having a problem with the teacher AND my kid was doing well in school, I'd skip it.

I see no problem with the way the message is worded. "Your kid is great, I have no issues, if a concern crops up you can always contact me." Sounds good to me.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:57 AM   #38
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I may be in the minority here but I think that you were wrong to put your name on the list after the teacher said that it was for parents with kids who struggle. My DH and I always attend open houses and parent nights for both our children. We always introduce ourselves to the teacher and try to get as much information for the upcoming school year, projects, homework, extra credit, that sort of thing. Almost all the teachers say that they are more than willing to speak with a parent and although the days hours are short they are always available through email. Could you not have just sent an email to address any 'concerns' you may have for your very successful student?
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:00 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by Mickey'snewestfan View Post
I think that a teacher's job includes knowing her students well enough to be able to discuss all of them, and that the email isn't acceptable.

I'd probably write back and say something along the lines of "I appreciate your offer, and needless to say I'm pleased that she's doing so well. However, I believe that a strong home-school connection has been a key to her success, and therefore I'm looking forward to a chance to see some work samples and hear about how you intend to challenge her this year. I look forward to seeing you on (date) at (time)."
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I would still keep my appointment. The purpose of a conference is not just to discuss what problems your child may be having. It's for the parent to get to know the teacher better (and vice versa), see the child's work samples, and learn about the classroom routine and cirriculum. Even if your child is doing very well, a conference is not just for the teacher to gush about their progress. It also opens up an important line of communication between the teacher and parent.
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I know my kids. I have a pretty good idea of how they handle their relationships with friends and peers, and how they behave and perform in school. However, even if I already know my child is "at the top of her class, plays well with others, a great role model and is a joy to have in class," personally, I would want my 15 minutes. I can learn a lot in those 15 minutes... about the teacher. My child will be spending a lot of time with her, and she could have a huge influence on my child's academic success, attitude towards learning and school, or her life in general. While discussing my child, I can get a feel for the teacher, her ideas, attitude, approach to learning, teaching style, if she truly enjoys working with children, etc. That's important to me, as it relates to my child. And, I'll come away knowing if she really knows my child.



My oldest was the child that would not have needed conferences yet I went to everyone except for 2nd grade. He was doing great, I had just broken my wrist, and I was having some health issues with my youngest. That teacher approached me later and said she was surprised that I did not show up!

He is a freshman now, and I went to every P/T conference, they ALWAYS told me something helpful. If they could not fit me in, or ask me if I could do a phone conference instead I would gladly do that, but I want that time with that teacher, I always learned things about my son, and we always had something to discuss even if it was ways to challenge him more.

Now DS9, we have always had LOTS to chat about
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:11 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinker'n'Fun View Post
: Me thinks the would rather be at home doing this instead of her job.

I usually do not tattle, but I wonder if the principal is aware of this teacher's policy and agrees with it.

There is no reason for the parent of a child that is doing well and has been told by the teacher that their child is doing well to go to a conference. You post is an insult to teachers.

Teachers hope to use the time alloted to parent-teacher conference to discuss options with parents of children who are struggling not simply heap praise on parents of children who are doing fine.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:12 AM   #41
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my eldest is in 5th grade and we have always gone to conferences for all 3 of my kids, even though they all do well and my 5th grader is consistently the top of his class. I am suprised that the consensus here seems to be that if the student is at the top of the class, there are no concerns. I disagree. I do want to know what the teacher is doing to challenge my son. He is not there to twiddle his thumbs, he is there to learn, too. So far the teachers I have met with have been great and have been happy to meet with us and have been really good about coming up with ideas for him, some that have been a direct result of those conferences.

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Old 10-12-2012, 08:12 AM   #42
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I always looked at parent conferences as a way to let the teacher know things about our DS that he/she might not know from a classroom setting.

His kindergarten teacher went on and on about his cutting skills, he really needed to practice, etc. Even gave him an unsatisfactory on his report card. (He still can't really cut straight and he's a freshman in college!) When we asked her if they had any advanced work for the kids that were reading, she had no clue he could read, and this after 2 months of school. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he was reading everything on her desk when he came in the morning, and telling me about it.

Just because your child is doing well, the teacher has 25 give or take students and may not really know the ones that are not the problems, since the problems take up more time. We never missed an opportunity to speak one on one with the teacher, not just at the open house which was more speaking to the parents. My DH always said he wanted to get his money's worth!

I am amazed at the number of parents here that do not take the opportunity to speak with the teachers.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:14 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Luv Bunnies View Post
I would still keep my appointment. The purpose of a conference is not just to discuss what problems your child may be having. It's for the parent to get to know the teacher better (and vice versa), see the child's work samples, and learn about the classroom routine and cirriculum. Even if your child is doing very well, a conference is not just for the teacher to gush about their progress. It also opens up an important line of communication between the teacher and parent.

The line of communication has been established and there is no need to attend this conference. If the parent had never met or talked to the teacher before I would agree with you but that is not the case in the OP's situation.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:15 AM   #44
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I would have loved it if the teachers said that to me when my kids were in elementary school. Every year it was the same thing - "She's doing fine in every subject. She participates in class. She's polite." It really was a waste of time for both of us, but I was afraid it would look like I didn't care if I didn't show up.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:21 AM   #45
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I don't understand why parent would not want to go. We went for both of our children all the way through to senior and including senior year.


We did this too for our oldest foster child. He came to us in the 5th grade and still had difficulty adjusting to certain social situations well into his senior year.

I think it is great to still have conferences in high school. It really helps young adults who are not prepared for the real world as well as their peers.
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