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Old 10-11-2012, 01:55 PM   #16
RunningGirl
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DS got left behind because of his size. It made him more determined to work harder and practice more and become excellent technically at his sport. He is now on the top team, and his skill is superior to the guys who had it easier, so he is one of the top players on his team. He's not huge, but he has caught up for the most part.

Show your DS this short little video: http://link.brightcove.com/services/...id=76012854001
My DS LOVES it and watches it as inspiration frequently.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:57 PM   #17
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I'm sorry that he had to endure that. It's really hard to watch our children not get to where they want to be. Sometimes our body works against us for certain sports. My DD8 is in basketball and she loves it, but she's a shorter gal from the rest of the girls.

Basketball is really teaching her teamwork and working with some girls with attitude. That in itself is worth it's weight in gold.

Give him a big hug!
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:58 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunningGirl View Post
DS got left behind because of his size. It made him more determined to work harder and practice more and become excellent technically at his sport. He is now on the top team, and his skill is superior to the guys who had it easier, so he is one of the top players on his team. He's not huge, but he has caught up for the most part.

Show your DS this short little video: http://link.brightcove.com/services/...id=76012854001
My DS LOVES it and watches it as inspiration frequently.
Love that!!!!!! Thank you
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:58 PM   #19
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If his skill level is very good he could be a stand out player
in the league that he was chosen to participate.
Enough so he could be possibly be picked up to the majors.

Would he rather play first string ... on a team he contributes (minors)
or ... seat on the bench (majors)

Myself ... Been there done that ... I'd rather play ball.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:05 PM   #20
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If his skill level is very good he could be a stand out player
in the league that he was chosen to participate.
Enough so he could be possibly be picked up to the majors.

Would he rather play first string ... on a team he contributes (minors)
or ... seat on the bench (majors)

Myself ... Been there done that ... I'd rather play ball.
Ya know......
As hard as it was for him to be rejected from majors, he had an amazing season in minors while some of his friends struggled. It made him stronger for the next season and then he was picked for majors. He even got nominated for all-stars (but couldn't commit and be on the team because of vacation). Your right.....it all works out for a reason!
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:05 PM   #21
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I'm sorry that he had to endure that. It's really hard to watch our children not get to where they want to be. Sometimes our body works against us for certain sports. My DD8 is in basketball and she loves it, but she's a shorter gal from the rest of the girls.

Basketball is really teaching her teamwork and working with some girls with attitude. That in itself is worth it's weight in gold.

Give him a big hug!
Thank you!
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:23 PM   #22
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While it is hard to see your child rejected from anything, it is sadly a fact of life. My son was not picked for the travel basketball team in middle school (way back when). He isn't that short but they picked the tallest kids. Funny thing was some of them weren't even that good! Anyway, I think this made my son try other sports. He started playing tennis and became a great tennis player, played on many different tennis teams. He was into soccer when he was younger and played his freshman year of HS. The coach was really mean to him (long story but this coach has a horrible reputation and I think he was trying to get back at my husband who coached baseball). This made him try track and he ended up running on the varsity team as a freshman. He earned 10 varsity letters and I didn't even realize how amazing this was until the senior sports banquet when I quickly realized that he was only a handful of a ton of athletics who had earned that may letters!! Funny again but all those kids who were picked for the travel basketball teams when my son wasn't only had one or two letters. My son also earned the MIA sportsmanship award among other things. Moral of the story is many many times things work out just fine in the end. I hate to say this but (and I am quoting Walt Disney) sometimes it's good to have a real hard rejection(Walt said failure, but you get the picture) early in life to prepare you for life. My son is now 24 years old, just finished his master's degree in film studies in London and is now working at the London film festival and talking about his PHD. I know this is long, but I really believe my son is the wonderful amazing man he is today because my husband and I didn't rush to make things better for him, we were always there and he knew it. All his experiences good and bad helped to make him who he is.

Good Luck!

Last edited by DisneyMim; 10-11-2012 at 02:29 PM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:32 PM   #23
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Yes exactly....his being small doesn't give him much strength behind his hits. Although he is a great hitter, he just doesn't have the strength to hit the ball out of the park like some of the big kids can do. He is very good as a short stop, or any infield position and he is a lefty pitcher. He does have assets.

I also want to add, one of his friends is 5'5 and weighs 125lbs at 11 years old. The kid is bigger than me! Granted his parents are both very tall people. My hubby is 5'7 and I am 5'4 so there isn't much hope for my boy to be a big kid.
I can relate- as far as size goes anyway. My DS13 is in 8th grade and is 4'9". Not only is he shorter than most of the boys (and some girls) in his grade, but he also has not come into puberty at all, so he has a very small voice and still looks like a little kid. Some of the kids he is friends with have huge muscles and facial hair! It is like night and day!!

He has never been a fabulous athlete but enjoys playing sports. We have always done rec leagues for basketball, although even those can get kind of nasty, with coaches playing their better players all the time. My son is more of a music/drama kid, and his success has come in those areas- where size normally does not matter. He is a great drummer, and has gotten leads in his middle school musicals. He also tried sports like cross country (which he hated) and tennis (which he loves). Those tend not to be as competitive and everyone has an opportunity.

I would encourage your boy to try out more varied activities until he finds his niche. And- most importantly- it doesn't matter what team you are on, as long as you are having fun.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:32 PM   #24
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Can I be honest? Maybe basketball really isn't the right sport for him to focus on considering that he is short? In all honesty, basketball is a tall person's sport, and I think that most coaches will pick the taller kids. Especially if it's a travel team, which, I assume, are pretty competitive.

Really it does stink when this happens, but all you can do is say, "yup, it sucks, better luck next time."

Maybe he would like to get involved in a sport that isn't so focused on size? Soccer or baseball maybe?
Heck, the kid is already bigger than Muggsy Bogues!

Play for whatever team will give him playing time . . .
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:35 PM   #25
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No offense to male gymnasts, I LOVE the sport! Knowing my son, its not for him. He would look at me like i had 4 heads if I even mentioned it to him. He is not the least bit flexible and doesn't have much upper body strength.
If he doesn't have much upper body strength, then I'd re-evaluate your statements in previous posts that he's better than his friends in sports, etc. He may be faster, but upper body and core strength play a big role too.

Perhaps he should give sports a break, focus on building upper body/core strength, have a meeting with a nutritionist, and wait for the inevitable growth spurt?
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:50 PM   #26
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I think sometimes it's a good idea to take a break for a few months from anything that kids have to "try out" for. Or at least add an activity where no one is judged or picked like scouts, an art class, church youth group or community service. I think it puts kids under too much pressure to always have to perform. That being said, both my girls love to compete in different things like competitive cheerleading, auditions for musicals, and academic competitions through school, but we always make sure they do other activities, too. Right now my younger dd is helping at the animal shelter and is a Girl Scout in addition to her other activities.

I hope your son finds something new to do if he doesn't want to do basketball. Do you have any running/track clubs in your area? He may be a really good at that if he is thinner built and can move fast.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:53 PM   #27
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I am with design mom and Running Girl. ^

My son is a baseball player and he has always been on the smaller side compared to most of his teammates. He has experienced rejection due to his size (at 11, in fact), but that caused him to work harder in the sport, and that's been a good thing for him long term (he's 15 now and a skilled player). He knows he has to prove himself out there, so he not only continues to work hard, he has become the type of player that coaches love to have on their team (good behavior, willingness to do anything required, shows up for every practice and game, goes the extra mile, gets along with everyone, cheers on his teammates, etc. - don't underestimate the importance of this!). It was sweet that same year to hear the coach who rejected him for size express regret over it later. (Another of his teams that year won their World Series, getting there on a walk-off home run hit by guess who? )

It can be a crossroads for kids when things like this happen, but it's not the end of the world. Remind your son of the saying, "When one door closes, another one opens". It could be that, for whatever reason, those teams may not have been a good fit for your son, and the C team will be better. Tell him, if he wants to play basketball, to take his place on the C team and be the best player he can be on it. And by the time next year rolls around, he probably will have grown in size and in ability, and maybe he'll be able to make one of the other teams then (or then again maybe he may just like it where he is! Maybe he'll meet his best friend for life on that team, or his future wife, or whatever - you never know, things happen for a reason). Anyway, A teams aren't always all they're cracked up to be. Think of the long term more so than just this one season.
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:53 PM   #28
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Have you ever considered swimming? It is such a great sport! Awesome exercise! Not many boys swim in my town, but there is a decent amount. What's great about that is that he will get to participate in tons of races!!! My daughter(16) keeps saying that she wish she was a boy cuz then she would get to race more!
Has he ever tried Lacrosse? My son was rejected from the high school baseball team freshman year, but a bunch of his friends were doing lacrosse, so they let him on the team with no experience... It was probably the best thing he could have ever done!!! It has been such a great experience for him and he has gained such a great group of friends. He has always been on the shorter side and never too strong, like your son... But it usually takes place in the spring and would interfere with baseball...
I hope you guys get through this tough time... I have four kids... I have dealt with all of the politics in sports, too... It usually doesn't get any better... At least your son will get playing time on this team and hopefully it will work out next year
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:06 PM   #29
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On a positive note........

My DS is an incredibly smart student who scored above average on his MCAS. He has a 99 average in all of his classes. He was also recommended by his teachers to be an Ambassador to the school. Not all rejection thank God
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:52 PM   #30
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I think, first of all, let him know it's okay to be disappointed. It's okay that he may not be okay in 30 seconds. After that:

1. I don't believe that "everything happens for a reason" or that "when one door closes, another opens." I think that sometimes life is unfair and it sucks or we can't get what we want for reasons over which we seem to have no control. The key is to be able to figure out when we can make something fair or remove the suckitude and when we can not. So in that way, I think being rejected can help teach a kid a life lesson about analyzing a situation and learning when to keep plugging away and when it's time to move on to another option. In other words, it's about teaching our kids not only how to handle rejection, but how to analyze and solve a problem.

2. I know too many people who are overly rigid in how they approach a lot of life. They must have THAT job or go on THAT vacation or drive THAT car or marry THAT kind of man/woman or have THAT kid who achieves THAT. And if they can't get THAT, then they are unhappy because they think there is only way to happiness. So, like I always asked my dd, "What's your Plan B?" Because life pretty much requires a Plan B.

My dd learned that lesson through rejection when the new junior high drama coach refused to cast dd in anything. (We found out recently that the deal was that she was from this town and came in with favorites -- she cast all of her family friends in productions). Nothing my dd could do would get her a role, even though she was a highly skilled musical theater performer. She wasn't even given a role in the chorus. It was devastating, particularly because the way the district's drama program works is that if you aren't case in junior high, you won't be cast in senior high. So her school drama "career" was now over. I said to her, "Let's find a Plan B." We did and that Plan B ended up leading her to a great job, which led to another great job and which, if she wanted, could lead to a great professional career. She said a while back, "You know, that Plan B ended up being better than Plan A."

In contrast, I have a cousin who was a sports fanatic, like his father. He grew up in a small town and because there wasn't a lot of competition, he was on the basketball team, despite being only 5'5". He was also on the baseball team. He and his parents were operating under the serious delusion that he was going to be a professional ball player at best or at worst, was going to play college ball and get a college degree on a sports scholarship. They spent his college fund on various sports camps. At no time, did any coach or teacher tell him the truth -- that it wasn't going to happen. He did not get a sports scholarship and went to college on the "loan plan", as we call it, majoring in sports management but didn't really DO anything to make a career in that field happen. He ended up becoming a bartender.

Last edited by Andtototoo; 10-11-2012 at 04:00 PM.
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