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Old 10-09-2012, 12:50 AM   #1
triron
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Coping Strategies For Dealing with Disney Guests

As we plan our Disney trips for the upcoming months, I thought I would share with you the thoughts of a Disney veteran who is also a 15 year Sophomore in High School. She submitted this article in one of her classes as she told them how she was preparing for our Christmas trip this year.

Declaration of Independence from the People of Disney World
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands of acquaintance which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the imagineers, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Disney and of Walt Disney himself entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all guests of Disney World are created equal, that they are endowed by their tickets with certain unalienable rights, that among these are joy, unforgettable experiences, and the pursuit of happiness--that to secure these rights, cast members are instituted among guests, deriving their just powers from the one and only, Mickey Mouse--that whenever any guest becomes manipulative or inconsiderate of these rights, it is the right of the cast members and other guests to abolish them, therefore reducing the wait time in lines, and creating an even more magical experience for those who so deserve it.
There are several types of guests in Disney World, and the “I-need-a-photograph-no-matter-what-and-I-don’t-care-if-I-have-to-stop-and-make-you-wait-for-me” types are the most stressful to deal with. Disney World is like a magical version of a bustling city, where time is money and your child’s happiness could be dependent on the specific day you decide to attend this amusement park. Imagine being one of the very first people to enter the park and directly in front of you, less than 500 feet away, is the beauty of a line-free Space Mountain staring right back. Hastening toward that ride is the only logical decision of any Disney World attendee! However, the person in front of you decides to block the entire path between you and your potential happiness, just so they can get a picture of their child standing next to a Mickey Mouse shaped tree. Of course being considerate is important so the only option is to wait, but by the time they have finished taking their pictures, other people have gone through the other path to Space Mountain and a half hour waiting line has already formed. The next half hour is spent with you waiting and recalling the old saying “no good deed goes unpunished”.
The next type of guest in the utopia of Disney World is the “my-child-is-more-important-than-your-child-so-I-am-going-to-put-them-on-my-shoulders-during-parades-and-shows-and-you-won’t-be-able-to-see-a-thing” guest. This type of guest only leaves you with the option of peeking around them or trying to walk to a different spot in the crowd, which is almost an impossibility due to the fact that everyone is packed in the viewing area like sardines.
Yet another species of guests that are extremely easy to find in Disney World are the “I-know-that-it-is-midnight-and-my-child-is-screaming-and-crying-at-a-horrid-volume-but-I-am-staying-no-matter-what-and-I-am-also-probably-going-to-be-irritable” species. This is the type of guest that gets on one’s nerves the quickest because they’re absolutely everywhere in the park.
As you continue through this magical metropolis, you’re bound to encounter the “I-am-going-to-lock-arms-with-at-least-four-other-people-in-my-family-so-that-there-is-no-way-of-getting-around-us” type of guest, who think that forming a military column movement will allow them to move at any pace they desire without having to worry about people from behind moving in front of them. This kind of guest not only causes irritability among those who are in a rush, but they also slow the speed of the entire park down so that grief and impatience become mutual feelings to everyone.
Probably the most despicable type of guest would be the “I-am-going-to-use-my-stroller-as-a-battering-ram-even-if-there-is-no-child-in-the-stroller” guest. These guests almost always arise out of nowhere, and have even caused great amounts of danger and injury to those not paying attention. They’re usually operated by soccer moms running to meet up with the rest of their family, which often means that there isn’t even a child in the stroller.
Trying to solve the problem of undesirable guests of Disney World has been no easy task, but over the years I have acquired some useful techniques when dealing with these ignoramuses. To begin, you have to lose almost all thoughts of compassion and consideration for others. This doesn’t mean that you have to go around being intentionally rude to all, but if one of these obnoxious guests is lessening the value of your vacation, it’s imperative to show no weakness. When dealing with the photo-taking guests, I have tried to simply walk through the photo. However, this caused upset and foul language to be shouted, so I have learned to quickly run through the photo being taken and to not look back at any cost. Second, when putting up with the people who block your view in a parade or show with their child on their shoulders, I have tried tried to use a water gun and squirt the child until they have slipped off their parents’ shoulders. Sadly, this caused the parents to chase me around the park until I had to dive into the moat of Cinderella’s Castle. Thirdly, instead of having to endure the screams and cries of tired children and their irritable parents who won’t leave, I have tried to dress up as Mickey Mouse and order them to shut up and leave the park. This attempt has only rewarded me with even more flustered children who have now developed a hatred of Mickey, a reaction that even I feel bad to have caused. Fourthly, solving the problem of people who form an insuperable bond of hand holding between them and four others is a tricky dilemma to overcome but it becomes simple when using the proper technique. When coveting a spot in front of a certain group of people so I no longer would have to to drag at their pace, I searched for the youngest member of the posse since they usually have the weakest strength. Next, I simply charged through the arms of the person spotted, which sent their arms flailing all over the place, and ran as fast as I could so they never knew what hit them. I’m proud to say that this has been one of the most effective of all my techniques of declaring independence from the people of Disney World, and can also work in a variety of other situations such as school hallways. However, if the person was stronger than you estimated and their hand-locks don’t end up splitting at all, it’s best to claim that you’re blind and avoid them for the rest of your visit. Lastly, when solving the repugnant issue of people using strollers as battering rams, I have tried to put up nothing less than a war with these people. To start, I have tried to stare them down with my best evil eye just so they know the importance of their ignorance, then I have proceeded to stick my leg in front of the stroller to trip them and their danger-filled buggy. Unfortunately, the only solution I have encountered from this attempt was skid marks all across my leg, a broken stroller, and a soccer mom boiling with anger. Solving the problems to our grievances is never an easy task, but I’ve learned that enough trial and error will be nothing short of a learning experience for all.
We, therefore, the ideal guests of Disney World, assembled, appealing to hundreds of cast members and imagineers of Disney World, do, in the name, and by the Authority of the good people who simply want an unforgettable vacation, solemnly publish and declare, That these ideal guests are, and of right ought to be able to kick undesired guests out, and that all bands of acquaintance between their ignorant mindsets and us ought to be dissolved, and that as considerate people, we should have full power to live our vacations well, make memories that will last a lifetime, fulfill the pursuit of happiness that young children have so desired to gain from Disney World, and do all other acts and things which considerate guests may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our money, our mouse ear hats, and our sacred Honor.
The only thing I would add would the dreaded "line cutter".
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:04 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triron View Post
I thought I would share with you the thoughts of a Disney veteran who is also a 15 year Sophomore in High School.
After that article, maybe they'll let her move on to the Junior Class.




15 years as a Sophomore can get a bit monotonous.





.

Last edited by Robo; 10-09-2012 at 06:18 AM.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:33 AM   #3
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Cute, but very sophomoric

Did the teacher tell her to remove all instances of "I", eliminate the extra long hyphenated words, and not to use slang?

I assume this was submitted in a history class, and they were studying the American Revolution.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:14 AM   #4
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It sounds like a 15 yr old. It was a good start but a lot of it talking about dealing with rude people was just her way of being rude to other people. I kind of lost her train of thought about a third in. I hope I'm never in the park with her, I want to hold hands with my kids and take a family picture in front of something nice without someone running through it. Maybe she should think how the child on the shoulders can't see so that is why they are there and not to disturb her entertainment.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:52 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pyrxtc View Post
It sounds like a 15 yr old. It was a good start but a lot of it talking about dealing with rude people was just her way of being rude to other people. I kind of lost her train of thought about a third in. I hope I'm never in the park with her, I want to hold hands with my kids and take a family picture in front of something nice without someone running through it. Maybe she should think how the child on the shoulders can't see so that is why they are there and not to disturb her entertainment.
I'm with you on most of that. But just because someone's child can't see is no excuse for them to block the view of those behind them.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:14 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pyrxtc View Post
It sounds like a 15 yr old. It was a good start but a lot of it talking about dealing with rude people was just her way of being rude to other people. I kind of lost her train of thought about a third in. I hope I'm never in the park with her, I want to hold hands with my kids and take a family picture in front of something nice without someone running through it. Maybe she should think how the child on the shoulders can't see so that is why they are there and not to disturb her entertainment.
Agree. She contradicts herself in the first paragraph after her introduction. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all guests of Disney World are created equal, that they are endowed by their tickets with certain unalienable rights, that among these are joy, unforgettable experiences, and the pursuit of happiness--" So, the photo peoples pursuit of what brings them happiness in documenting those unforgettable experiences she doesn't view as equal to her right to run unimpeded to SpaceMtn at RD.

If she kept the rant at strollers used as battering rams I'd be part of the amen chorus.

Last edited by Q-man; 10-09-2012 at 10:20 AM.
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:46 AM   #7
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I agree that this was quite sophomoric. A nice try, but she ends up sounding just as selfish, inconsiderate and unpleasant as those she rails against. She seems to have missed out on a key bit of basic childrearing- being taught to use her words rather than physical confrontation. She apparently has never been taught that a simple and polite "Excuse me," followed by an equally simple and polite request could have resulted in achieving her goals.
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:05 PM   #8
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Quote:
As we plan our Disney trips for the upcoming months, I thought I would share with you the thoughts of a Disney veteran who is also a 15 year Sophomore in High School. She submitted this article in one of her classes as she told them how she was preparing for our Christmas trip this year.

Declaration of Independence from the People of Disney World

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands of acquaintance which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the imagineers, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Disney and of Walt Disney himself entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all guests of Disney World are created equal, that they are endowed by their tickets with certain unalienable rights, that among these are joy, unforgettable experiences, and the pursuit of happiness--that to secure these rights, cast members are instituted among guests, deriving their just powers from the one and only, Mickey Mouse--that whenever any guest becomes manipulative or inconsiderate of these rights, it is the right of the cast members and other guests to abolish them, therefore reducing the wait time in lines, and creating an even more magical experience for those who so deserve it.

There are several types of guests in Disney World, and the “I-need-a-photograph-no-matter-what-and-I-don’t-care-if-I-have-to-stop-and-make-you-wait-for-me” types are the most stressful to deal with. Disney World is like a magical version of a bustling city, where time is money and your child’s happiness could be dependent on the specific day you decide to attend this amusement park. Imagine being one of the very first people to enter the park and directly in front of you, less than 500 feet away, is the beauty of a line-free Space Mountain staring right back. Hastening toward that ride is the only logical decision of any Disney World attendee! However, the person in front of you decides to block the entire path between you and your potential happiness, just so they can get a picture of their child standing next to a Mickey Mouse shaped tree. Of course being considerate is important so the only option is to wait, but by the time they have finished taking their pictures, other people have gone through the other path to Space Mountain and a half hour waiting line has already formed. The next half hour is spent with you waiting and recalling the old saying “no good deed goes unpunished”.

The next type of guest in the utopia of Disney World is the “my-child-is-more-important-than-your-child-so-I-am-going-to-put-them-on-my-shoulders-during-parades-and-shows-and-you-won’t-be-able-to-see-a-thing” guest. This type of guest only leaves you with the option of peeking around them or trying to walk to a different spot in the crowd, which is almost an impossibility due to the fact that everyone is packed in the viewing area like sardines.

Yet another species of guests that are extremely easy to find in Disney World are the “I-know-that-it-is-midnight-and-my-child-is-screaming-and-crying-at-a-horrid-volume-but-I-am-staying-no-matter-what-and-I-am-also-probably-going-to-be-irritable” species. This is the type of guest that gets on one’s nerves the quickest because they’re absolutely everywhere in the park.

As you continue through this magical metropolis, you’re bound to encounter the “I-am-going-to-lock-arms-with-at-least-four-other-people-in-my-family-so-that-there-is-no-way-of-getting-around-us” type of guest, who think that forming a military column movement will allow them to move at any pace they desire without having to worry about people from behind moving in front of them. This kind of guest not only causes irritability among those who are in a rush, but they also slow the speed of the entire park down so that grief and impatience become mutual feelings to everyone.
Probably the most despicable type of guest would be the “I-am-going-to-use-my-stroller-as-a-battering-ram-even-if-there-is-no-child-in-the-stroller” guest. These guests almost always arise out of nowhere, and have even caused great amounts of danger and injury to those not paying attention. They’re usually operated by soccer moms running to meet up with the rest of their family, which often means that there isn’t even a child in the stroller.

Trying to solve the problem of undesirable guests of Disney World has been no easy task, but over the years I have acquired some useful techniques when dealing with these ignoramuses. To begin, you have to lose almost all thoughts of compassion and consideration for others. This doesn’t mean that you have to go around being intentionally rude to all, but if one of these obnoxious guests is lessening the value of your vacation, it’s imperative to show no weakness. When dealing with the photo-taking guests, I have tried to simply walk through the photo. However, this caused upset and foul language to be shouted, so I have learned to quickly run through the photo being taken and to not look back at any cost. Second, when putting up with the people who block your view in a parade or show with their child on their shoulders, I have tried tried to use a water gun and squirt the child until they have slipped off their parents’ shoulders. Sadly, this caused the parents to chase me around the park until I had to dive into the moat of Cinderella’s Castle.

Thirdly, instead of having to endure the screams and cries of tired children and their irritable parents who won’t leave, I have tried to dress up as Mickey Mouse and order them to shut up and leave the park. This attempt has only rewarded me with even more flustered children who have now developed a hatred of Mickey, a reaction that even I feel bad to have caused.

Fourthly, solving the problem of people who form an insuperable bond of hand holding between them and four others is a tricky dilemma to overcome but it becomes simple when using the proper technique. When coveting a spot in front of a certain group of people so I no longer would have to to drag at their pace, I searched for the youngest member of the posse since they usually have the weakest strength. Next, I simply charged through the arms of the person spotted, which sent their arms flailing all over the place, and ran as fast as I could so they never knew what hit them.

I’m proud to say that this has been one of the most effective of all my techniques of declaring independence from the people of Disney World, and can also work in a variety of other situations such as school hallways. However, if the person was stronger than you estimated and their hand-locks don’t end up splitting at all, it’s best to claim that you’re blind and avoid them for the rest of your visit.

Lastly, when solving the repugnant issue of people using strollers as battering rams, I have tried to put up nothing less than a war with these people. To start, I have tried to stare them down with my best evil eye just so they know the importance of their ignorance, then I have proceeded to stick my leg in front of the stroller to trip them and their danger-filled buggy. Unfortunately, the only solution I have encountered from this attempt was skid marks all across my leg, a broken stroller, and a soccer mom boiling with anger. Solving the problems to our grievances is never an easy task, but I’ve learned that enough trial and error will be nothing short of a learning experience for all.


We, therefore, the ideal guests of Disney World, assembled, appealing to hundreds of cast members and imagineers of Disney World, do, in the name, and by the Authority of the good people who simply want an unforgettable vacation, solemnly publish and declare, That these ideal guests are, and of right ought to be able to kick undesired guests out, and that all bands of acquaintance between their ignorant mindsets and us ought to be dissolved, and that as considerate people, we should have full power to live our vacations well, make memories that will last a lifetime, fulfill the pursuit of happiness that young children have so desired to gain from Disney World, and do all other acts and things which considerate guests may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our money, our mouse ear hats, and our sacred Honor.
The only thing I would add would the dreaded "line cutter".

Yup, sounds like a 15 year old.
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:38 PM   #9
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Loved it!
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:48 PM   #10
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I love this! Comes from a young person who thinks, at times like most guest do! I have experienced one of the things listed. Instead of being mean the person found a humorous joking approach. Not that you are looking for my critique. Just throwing it out there.

Thanks for posting!
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:58 PM   #11
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This is so great!! Thank you for sharing!!
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:09 PM   #12
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Wow. Someone's a bit self-righteous.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:12 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Elleshoodat View Post
Wow. Someone's a bit self-righteous.


That would describe the majority of posters on this message board.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:20 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by minnie mum View Post
I agree that this was quite sophomoric. A nice try, but she ends up sounding just as selfish, inconsiderate and unpleasant as those she rails against. She seems to have missed out on a key bit of basic childrearing- being taught to use her words rather than physical confrontation. She apparently has never been taught that a simple and polite "Excuse me," followed by an equally simple and polite request could have resulted in achieving her goals.

See I kind of assumed that this was a piece of satire.

"Second, when putting up with the people who block your view in a parade or show with their child on their shoulders, I have tried tried to use a water gun and squirt the child until they have slipped off their parents’ shoulders. Sadly, this caused the parents to chase me around the park until I had to dive into the moat of Cinderella’s Castle. Thirdly, instead of having to endure the screams and cries of tired children and their irritable parents who won’t leave, I have tried to dress up as Mickey Mouse and order them to shut up and leave the park. This attempt has only rewarded me with even more flustered children who have now developed a hatred of Mickey, a reaction that even I feel bad to have caused."



I mean do people reading this really believe that she squirts kids on their parents shoulders with a squirt gun? Dodged angry parents by diving into the moat of Cinderella's Castle? Dresses up as Mickey Mouse and orders other guests to shut up and leave the park?

Honestly I read it as a parody of all the people on this message board who constantly whine and complain about what other people do.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:43 PM   #15
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I'm in agreement with MMay (previous poster), and I read this as a humorous / satirical piece. Seriously...if this young person jumped into Cinderella's moat, they'd be shuffled out of the World faster than you can say "Dole Whip, please!". And one of the best ways to convey humor in writing is to use hyperbole and outlandish actions which can make the audience see the absurdity of the situation.

Sophomoric or not, I was mostly impressed with the quality of the writing and the style used. It's actually really neat to see a young person who can write...I think that's a lost art nowadays.

Heck, I was beginning to think that anyone under the age of 20 was incapable of writing anything that wasn't text-message-shortened, or Twitterized. And if I see another person writing emails like "R U comng ovr 2nite?" or "I m going to c u 2moro", I will consider that the apocalypse is a-coming! LOL

As far as the subject, remember we're reading the words coming from a 15 year old brain, and their idea of humor and satire. Not shabby for a kid who is younger than some of the clothes in my wardrobe!! I recently read some of my teenage stuff back in the day, and it's pretty goofy too. But kudos to the author for being articulate! More of this please!

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