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Old 10-06-2012, 04:01 PM   #1
mom2grace
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DIS Teachers..need your advice!

We are probably moving our 3rd grade son from our neighborhood Catholic school to a private school for gifted kids. We have known this was probably going to happen for several years.

His older sister (6th grade) will stay at the Catholic school, she is happy there and doing fine & she would not want to change, we will also continue to attend church there & our son will do CYO sports beginning next year at the Catholic school.

He loves his friends and I expect they will still play & be on sports teams together. We are not breaking ties. We live within a mile of the friends so playdates are still a realistic goal that all of the boys will want.

How would you suggest his last day at the Catholic school go? There have been older students who have left for other schools without moving homes, they leave at the regular end of the school year & there is no formal announcement. We will be leaving soon or at the Christmas break.

For this age group, should we say/do nothing? Take in cupcakes on his last day? Other ways to handle it?

We will notify the teacher first, then the principal & other parents. It's a very small tight-knit community & I want to control the 'news'. We will be saying that our son has learning differences and that we knew this was a potential outcome & while we love the community, the teaching style of Catholic schools in general is no longer meeting his needs. He has a great loving teacher & amazing friends, that's what makes this so difficult.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:23 PM   #2
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Why didnt you start him in the new school at the beginning of the school year?
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:26 PM   #3
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I would give the principal a heads up first and ask her how she would like it handled. I'd keep it brief and low key but like the idea of bringing in cupcakes as a way to have a last farewell w/his class.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:54 PM   #4
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I'm a public school teacher living in a military community, so we have our fair share of kiddos moving in and out of the classroom throughout the year. I always write a note to the student and have the student's classmates create/sign a card to present at the end of the day when goodbyes are said. I haven't ever had a parent ask to bring in snacks. I would speak with your child's classroom teacher first and get suggestions from him/her. Since you'll still be in the community and your child will still see his friends, I don't quite understand the need for a "formal announcement." Simply allowing your child to give his friends a heads-up would be enough, IMO.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:07 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by luvmy2sams View Post
I'm a public school teacher living in a military community, so we have our fair share of kiddos moving in and out of the classroom throughout the year. I always write a note to the student and have the student's classmates create/sign a card to present at the end of the day when goodbyes are said. I haven't ever had a parent ask to bring in snacks. I would speak with your child's classroom teacher first and get suggestions from him/her. Since you'll still be in the community and your child will still see his friends, I don't quite understand the need for a "formal announcement." Simply allowing your child to give his friends a heads-up would be enough, IMO.
I agree. It's not as if you are moving across the country. I think bringing in cupcakes or something similar is overkill, TBH. He can just tell his friends when he is ready. You can always touch base with the teacher about how it will be made known to the class if you want to.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:45 PM   #6
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Just to give you a heads up the school friendships will weaken. When kids don't see each other in class everyday they tend to not do as much together. So just be prepared for it. Maybe playing sports together will help.

My DS changed schools after 3rd grade and even though we didn't move either he played less and less with any of the boys who were in his old school even the ones who lived a street away. It is just the way things work with kids. Now 4 yrs later the only kid from his old school that he has anything to do with is our neighbor. He only does things with kids from his new school.

He made the switch though over the summer, so he just told all the kids at the end of school.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:19 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by npmommie View Post
Why didnt you start him in the new school at the beginning of the school year?
There were a lot of changes over the summer at the school and we didn't know it was 'time', we were hoping that we could keep him where he is through 8th grade. The signs are too blatant to do nothing, he is asking for help in his 9 year old way. We cannot wait until next fall.

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I'm a public school teacher living in a military community, so we have our fair share of kiddos moving in and out of the classroom throughout the year. I always write a note to the student and have the student's classmates create/sign a card to present at the end of the day when goodbyes are said. I haven't ever had a parent ask to bring in snacks. I would speak with your child's classroom teacher first and get suggestions from him/her. Since you'll still be in the community and your child will still see his friends, I don't quite understand the need for a "formal announcement." Simply allowing your child to give his friends a heads-up would be enough, IMO.
I don't expect the teacher to do anything at all as a goodbye, I hope I didn't come across that way! I just don't want him to suddenly not be there (for the other kids) and I want him to have some type of closure for himself. He's been with the same kids since K, it's a very small school with 1 class per grade.

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Just to give you a heads up the school friendships will weaken. When kids don't see each other in class everyday they tend to not do as much together. So just be prepared for it. Maybe playing sports together will help.

My DS changed schools after 3rd grade and even though we didn't move either he played less and less with any of the boys who were in his old school even the ones who lived a street away. It is just the way things work with kids. Now 4 yrs later the only kid from his old school that he has anything to do with is our neighbor. He only does things with kids from his new school.

He made the switch though over the summer, so he just told all the kids at the end of school.
This would be perfectly fine and I expect this to happen. He needs to be with a group who are focused on learning and I know he will find that in his new school. His circle of friends will get larger & his sister will still be at the first school.
Several kids went to the public middle school this year who were in my daughter's class & I have seen how the interactions have changed & they also were able to talk about it at the end of last year when after they had made the decision to change schools.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:20 PM   #8
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Thanks everyone! It's helpful to hear your experiences and perspectives.
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:39 AM   #9
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We will notify the teacher first, then the principal & other parents. It's a very small tight-knit community & I want to control the 'news'. We will be saying that our son has learning differences and that we knew this was a potential outcome & while we love the community, the teaching style of Catholic schools in general is no longer meeting his needs. He has a great loving teacher & amazing friends, that's what makes this so difficult.
I would not say this at all.It is very over-generalized.

My kids went to catholic schools and there is NO teaching style there that is different from any other school-where we are the scores are higher, the percentage of kids who go on to college is like 98%, so you should say nothing negative about the school, IMO
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:50 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by mom2grace View Post
We are probably moving our 3rd grade son from our neighborhood Catholic school to a private school for gifted kids. We have known this was probably going to happen for several years.

His older sister (6th grade) will stay at the Catholic school, she is happy there and doing fine & she would not want to change, we will also continue to attend church there & our son will do CYO sports beginning next year at the Catholic school.

He loves his friends and I expect they will still play & be on sports teams together. We are not breaking ties. We live within a mile of the friends so playdates are still a realistic goal that all of the boys will want.

How would you suggest his last day at the Catholic school go? There have been older students who have left for other schools without moving homes, they leave at the regular end of the school year & there is no formal announcement. We will be leaving soon or at the Christmas break.

For this age group, should we say/do nothing? Take in cupcakes on his last day? Other ways to handle it?

We will notify the teacher first, then the principal & other parents. It's a very small tight-knit community & I want to control the 'news'. We will be saying that our son has learning differences and that we knew this was a potential outcome & while we love the community, the teaching style of Catholic schools in general is no longer meeting his needs. He has a great loving teacher & amazing friends, that's what makes this so difficult.
I also don't get the whole 'control the news' and make this big, rude announcement thing. Seems to have no purpose but to alienate people and let them know you think he's 'special.'

The style of Catholic schools isn't meeting his needs? What needs does he have, no learning? Because here, some Catholic schools are right there at the top of the educational ladder and only take the creme of the academic crop, to mix metaphors a bit. They can be crazy competitive to get into.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:53 AM   #11
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Ummm, tell the school he is leaving and move to the other school. There is no need to make an announcement to anyone, just go.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:06 AM   #12
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Quote:
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I would not say this at all.It is very over-generalized.

My kids went to catholic schools and there is NO teaching style there that is different from any other school-where we are the scores are higher, the percentage of kids who go on to college is like 98%, so you should say nothing negative about the school, IMO
As a teacher who has taught in both private and public schools I can say for sure there is a big difference between the two. Many private schools don't have the resources to accomodate either kids with special needs, or kids who learn at an accelerated rate. With only one classroom per grade in many of these schools the teacher is teaching to the "average".

I do agree though that the mother should not have to go into detail about why he is moving schools with anyone but the principal. I would simply say that the public school is better equipped to accomodate his needs. Unless she is new to private school, the principal has seen this situation before.

OP, I like the idea of cupcakes and a low-key goodbye celebration. I think it's a nice gesture on your part and might make the transition easier on your son. It's hard when the kids switch in the middle of the year! I teach at the high school level now so I think you are smart to not wait until he is older. The older they get the harder that transition is. Good luck!
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:08 AM   #13
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I also don't get the whole 'control the news' and make this big, rude announcement thing. Seems to have no purpose but to alienate people and let them know you think he's 'special.'

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Ummm, tell the school he is leaving and move to the other school. There is no need to make an announcement to anyone, just go.
I agree- tell the principal, let him tell his friends on his own- he is 9 years old, he can tell his friends on his own that he is going to a different school. I see no need to make some big announcement.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:11 AM   #14
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I agree with other posters. No need to "control the news" or make a formal announcement with any of that detail. This is not an earnings report or major corporate news briefing that will impact anyone else in a significant way.

Kid is going to a different school. Happens all the time. Totally over thinking it.

That said - I always liked any opportunity to have a cupcake in class when I was that age, so I'm all for him bringing in treats his last day! In the afternoon. Right before dismissal time.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:16 AM   #15
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I'd ask your son want he wants. I don't see the big deal if he wants to have cupcakes and a little goodbye party. I've been an elementary school teacher for 8 years, and if I know in advance that a student is leaving, I'll always have a card written just from me and a class card as well. I've had several parents send in cookies or cupcakes for a little party.

Hope the transition is a smooth one and that your son is happy in his new school! Good Luck!
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