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Old 10-05-2012, 09:37 PM   #1
westjones
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If you have kids who have finished college....

.....can you tell me if you saw a big change in maturity over those four years from when they were Freshmen to when they graduated?
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:46 PM   #2
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I saw a major difference. She went to college a little girl and came home a self-confident young woman.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:47 PM   #3
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I have no answer for you but I am very hopeful that that will happen.

Some people have very easygoing 17 year old sons, I do not.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:48 PM   #4
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My dd went in with a good head on her shoulders and 3 yrs later at graduation she was a confident woman.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:54 PM   #5
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All kids are different including my 3. First child was pretty much always mature. Second child, a middle, matured about 21- bratty one day and lovely the next. Our third child is 18 and one day mature, the next a brat. After the first two, I know one day maturity will come.
OP, 4 years is a long time. Freshmen, 17, 18, 19, have been compared to kids going through the terrible twos. They want to be independent and sometimes act out but at the same time they still have a need to be dependent to a certain extent. This frustrates them and they get upset both with themselves and with their parents.
Don't worry, one day you'll see the maturity. It's bittersweet because your baby has grown away a bit yet it's thrilling at the same time to see them take that big step.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:57 PM   #6
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My oldest daughter has graduated and is now teaching music at a private school. Her confidence has soared.
My son graduated high school and decided to join the working world. Moving out on his own and he has matured leaps and bounds in just a years time.

2 very different individuals, living and growing in their own time.
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
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OP, 4 years is a long time. Freshmen, 17, 18, 19, have been compared to kids going through the terrible twos. They want to be independent and sometimes act out but at the same time they still have a need to be dependent to a certain extent. This frustrates them and they get upset both with themselves and with their parents.
Don't worry, one day you'll see the maturity. It's bittersweet because your baby has grown away a bit yet it's thrilling at the same time to see them take that big step.
Yes! Exactly! One day I hear how they are adults (I have twins) and they don't need me, then the next day they want me to help them figure something out. One day they are talking in such a responsible way telling me these plans/activities they have and how they are going to organize their time to do these things, the next day they are in tears because they don't have time to finish something. It is like a roller coaster!!!!

DH and I are just clinging to the hope that at the end of these four years they can handle life's little problems better! UGH!
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:01 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinijocaro View Post
I have no answer for you but I am very hopeful that that will happen.

Some people have very easygoing 17 year old sons, I do not.

Easygoing would not describe either of my girls, so I am right there with you. We can 'hope' together! haha
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:10 PM   #9
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Well yes, of course they were all more mature at 21 vs 18. But I still think there is a long way to go to full maturity. The 20's do help a lot in getting there.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:26 PM   #10
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We have three kids. The oldest two always seemed to go through life on a more or less even keel, and always seemed pretty mature for their ages. They continued to grow and mature throughout their college years.

Now our youngest finished college this past May, and I can't even begin to tell you how much she has matured! Shw was our "baby", our least independent child, most spontaneous, most "needy" child. Honestly, we weren't sure she would make it through her first night in the dorm!

Well, she surprised all of us and did just fine. She grew in leaps and bounds, and four years later, is now a very independent, dependable, responsible, confident young adult. She matured SO much from the time she entered college until the time she finished.

Of course, there are still those times when my husband and I are left scratching our heads over something one of the three has done, but yeah, we're quite pleased with the mature adults they've all become!
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:00 AM   #11
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DD's in her senior year of college and yes, she's matured immensely in that time. In fact, I'd say the huge difference came between her sophomore and junior years. I'm very proud of all she's accomplished and the young woman she's become.

And this has been an "It gets better" message for parents.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:28 AM   #12
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DD's in her senior year of college and yes, she's matured immensely in that time. In fact, I'd say the huge difference came between her sophomore and junior years. I'm very proud of all she's accomplished and the young woman she's become.

And this has been an "It gets better" message for parents.
LOL! Thanks! But glad to know 'it gets better'.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:32 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by luvflorida View Post
Of course, there are still those times when my husband and I are left scratching our heads over something one of the three has done, but yeah, we're quite pleased with the mature adults they've all become!
I would scratch my head almost daily from the things they do, but then I would be bald!

So for now DH and I just look at each other and

Hoping those times get fewer and looking forward to them becoming mature adults.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:31 AM   #14
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Quote:
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.....can you tell me if you saw a big change in maturity over those four years from when they were Freshmen to when they graduated?
Think back to high school. Was there a big change in maturity from freshman year to senior year of high school? There should be a similar one form freshman year to senior year of college. You can measure the expected growth by each child's temperament if you think about it that way.

Of course, most kids will mature faster in college if we learn to back off and not "helicopter."

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Originally Posted by westjones View Post
Yes! Exactly! One day I hear how they are adults (I have twins) and they don't need me, then the next day they want me to help them figure something out.
One of my favorite book titles (it's a pretty good book, too) is "Get Out of My Life but First Can You Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall".
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DH and I are just clinging to the hope that at the end of these four years they can handle life's little problems better! UGH!
Not necessarily, though - while they become much more organized and much more mature, they still don't know the basics of running a household or a life!
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I would scratch my head almost daily from the things they do, but then I would be bald!

So for now DH and I just look at each other and

Hoping those times get fewer and looking forward to them becoming mature adults.
My working d called me the other day to find out if chicken she cooked a few days earlier was still good! You'll be astounded at the things that they still don't know!
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:45 AM   #15
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Quote:
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.....can you tell me if you saw a big change in maturity over those four years from when they were Freshmen to when they graduated?
The biggest changes happen the first semester.
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