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Old 10-05-2012, 10:59 AM   #1
minkydog
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Spinoff from the boyfriends thread

Does anyone else do this? Almost every time my two young adults starts dating someone seriously I wonder, "Is this the one?" Not that I'm obsessing about it or even talking about it with anyone(not even my DH). But I do kinda daydream, briefly, about how this person would mesh with our family.

I promise, I am not being all dramatic about it. So, am I a complete loon or not?
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:00 AM   #2
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My son is only 15, so no.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:15 AM   #3
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Nope.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:22 AM   #4
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I have 3 sons, all grown and married. No, I never thought about the young women they dated as possibly being the one.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:33 AM   #5
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Having a daughter who is now 19, I have thought about that but it's still to early and so far I have only prayed that they are NOT the one.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:40 AM   #6
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I don't think my parents ever thought my fiance would be the "one" when we started dating when I was 15 but look! He is!
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:44 AM   #7
Hannathy
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No I don't think your are crazy. I think once our kids get to a certain age you have to think this way.

I have a friend with 3 sons and she has always said

"Treat every girl they bring home as if they are the one because you never know when they will be"



I think that is great advise for all parents boys or girls.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:54 AM   #8
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I don't know about when two people first start dating, but I think later on in the relationship, it's only natural.

My mother's best friend has a daughter and son who both had rather steady significant other. They all went on vacation together a few summers ago. My mother asked if she looked at them and said, "This is my family." Her friend said yes.

Well, her son and his girlfriend married in August, and her daugher and her boyfriend got engaged in July!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. My sister considers him her brother. She has actually accidentally (and purposely) called him her brother on several occasions. She adores him.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:26 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannathy View Post
No I don't think your are crazy. I think once our kids get to a certain age you have to think this way.

I have a friend with 3 sons and she has always said

"Treat every girl they bring home as if they are the one because you never know when they will be"



I think that is great advise for all parents boys or girls.
I agree. My job is simply to be welcoming and accepting and let them figure out the rest.

My son (who is still in high school and isn't thinking forever at this point!) is interested in a girl whose parent has decided she doesn't like him. I think it's muddying the waters, just drawing them closer.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:31 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Hannathy View Post
No I don't think your are crazy. I think once our kids get to a certain age you have to think this way.

I have a friend with 3 sons and she has always said

"Treat every girl they bring home as if they are the one because you never know when they will be"



I think that is great advise for all parents boys or girls.
This is exactly what I was going to say! My sons are only 17,15,12...but the few girls that have been brought home, I DO think about it! We had a situation where we ALL got to close to DSs girlfriend and then things fell apart, and it wasn't pretty. So, I am guarded, but certainly DO think about it! And I always careful to keep my opinions to myself...especially if I'm not thrilled with the girlfriend!
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:34 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannathy View Post
No I don't think your are crazy. I think once our kids get to a certain age you have to think this way.

I have a friend with 3 sons and she has always said

"Treat every girl they bring home as if they are the one because you never know when they will be"



I think that is great advise for all parents boys or girls.

Love it! .
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:57 PM   #12
minkydog
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannathy View Post
No I don't think your are crazy. I think once our kids get to a certain age you have to think this way.

I have a friend with 3 sons and she has always said

"Treat every girl they bring home as if they are the one because you never know when they will be"



I think that is great advise for all parents boys or girls.
Great advice. DS26 has been dating a young lady for almost 2 years. They've broken up a couple times and gotten back together. I really like this girl and it was disappointing every time they broke up. Because I just enjoy her company. DD19 has been dating a young man for almost a year and they are clearly head over heels for each other. We don't see him often because he's working a lot. But the times we have seen him, he is very polite and courteous toward my daughter. Of course, I would NEVER suggest they marry--she is waaaaay too young and he is too.

But I have to admit, I met DH when I was 19 and we were good friends for about 2 years. Then one day, sparks flew and we've never been apart since. We waited to get married until we were in our last semester of college, though(24yrs old)
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:03 PM   #13
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I don't think you're alone in this... my mom has (jokingly) called my boyfriend her son-in-law from the beginning
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:16 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by minkydog View Post
Does anyone else do this? Almost every time my two young adults starts dating someone seriously I wonder, "Is this the one?" Not that I'm obsessing about it or even talking about it with anyone(not even my DH). But I do kinda daydream, briefly, about how this person would mesh with our family.

I promise, I am not being all dramatic about it. So, am I a complete loon or not?
I'm a loon too. DS17 has had his first girlfriend for about 2 months. I'm visualizing potential grandchildren, even though our family doesn't tend to get married until they're 28 or so.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:23 PM   #15
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My sons have both been married for 4 and 5 years now, but thinking back --- I'm just grateful that neither married the long-time previous GF! I treated both girls well (I think!) because you never know, but was relieved when they were both out of the picture. I love my daughters-in-law and think they are perfect for my sons (such a relief!)

But, back to the original question - yes, I think that's a fairly common thought as our adult children get into their 20's and beyond.
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