A message that bears repeating

[Kennywife]

Originally Posted by LisaR

That has to be the oddest statement I've read in a long time.

You have decided that if you lost weight, you will end up angry and sad. You have determined that the only reason your mom is angry and sad is because she lost weight. So your conclusion is that if you remain fat, you will also remain sassy and this is your justification for staying overweight.

Okay, then.

Didn't cause it obviously, but she does seem moodier now than before. That's what I'm saying.

Ido work at it, but if I want a treat sometimes, I have one. I learned that if I never have a treat at all, I will binge like crazy.

[wvjules]

Originally Posted by Kennywife

Didn't cause it obviously, but she does seem moodier now than before. That's what I'm saying.

Ido work at it, but if I want a treat sometimes, I have one. I learned that if I never have a treat at all, I will binge like crazy.

Thin people have treats too. Do you think that all they eat is lettuce and fish?

[Colleen27]

Originally Posted by Kennywife

Yep. I've also seen people lose weight and be miserable. My mom is a wonderful woman, but after losing 4 dress sizes, you think she'd be happy. I've never seen a more angry and sad person. If given the choice between being skinny and hateful or fat and sassy, I'll take fat and sassy thank you very much.

Amen. I know many people who have lost weight and loved life all the more for it. I also know several for whom losing and then maintaining became a very stressful daily battle that changed their entire outlook for the worse. Losing weight is liberating when it is a lifestyle change you enjoy. But when it is a lifestyle change that you resent or that takes an immense amount of energy to hold on to, that takes a toll.

Originally Posted by FireDancer

And does anyone doubt that many if not most of these cases are because of our lifestyles, specifically the foods we eat? I'm not even talking about obesity, though that is a contributing factor to diabetes, but even eating normal portions of all the processed food that has sugar and chemicals added.

If we eliminated all the lifestyle diseases and illnesses we bring upon ourselves we would be a much healthier and more productive country in need of less medication. Some diseases are very hard to prevent, others are not. Those easy diseases are low hanging fruit that we as a population are ignoring. Of course it is easier to pop a hand full of pills every day than to correct our health properly but those pills come with high price tags and side effects and in many cases don't address the cause of illness but instead mask the symptoms. There will always be the need for medication but I view it as the last resort, not the first.

That isn't a problem that can be addressed strictly on the individual level, though. So long as we subsidize the worst possible food choices, allow the untested and unchecked approval of science-experiment foods and additives, embrace a "work first" mentality and an economic system where things like free time and health care are viewed as privileges earned only by those with the most marketable skills, and generally place health below a million other forces we can't expect to see widespread change.

Originally Posted by sunshinehighway

They could start by admitting lifestyle and food choices are often a problem. Nobody ever admits to eating poorly or too much. The weight excuse is usually about their slow metabolism. Being able to talk about poor lifestyle choices without being called out biased against overweight people, would be a place to start. How can anyone find a way to change something if they won't look at what is really going on?

I think that's a product of the "personal responsibility" filter that people read these discussions with. I've seen many people admit to eating poorly/too much and especially to not being as active as they should. But it seems like discussion of any factors beyond that is immediately dismissed as pointless excuse-making.

[Wendy31]

A little OT, but, just to illustrate the difference between men & women...

DH & I regularly do the P90X routines together, we watch what we eat, etc.

in the weeks prior to our most recent WDW trip, we were both doing P90X every day & were on stricter diets.

During our trip, we ate basically the same (except he ate bigger portions) &, of course, walked the same amount. We were both eating desserts, & the only exercise we were getting was the walking we were doing - so we both went from a relatively strict diet to a not-as-careful diet & we weren't doing any cardio/weight training like we'd been doing w/ P90X.

When we got home, we weighed.

He had lost 2 pounds.

I had gained 5 pounds.

Soooo not fair!

But, then, the day after we returned home, I got a stomach virus & lost 6 pounds over night...

[Colleen27]

Originally Posted by nathalee81

I am not saying that there aren't unhealthy people who just don't exercise, but I think the "obesity problem" in America goes far beyond that.

Exactly. Right now, both the problem and the solutions are being defined mainly by upper middle class people with lots of options, and they aren't particularly in tune with what it is like for people with fewer options. To pick on FireDancer for a moment - just not taking a job because the commute is too long isn't a luxury most people have these days. I know people who commute over an hour each way for $8-10/hr jobs because the alternative is no income at all. Teaching kids about how to cook? I know a lot of parents who don't even get home in time to have dinner with their kids, much less prepare it! This is the reality for the demographics where the obesity epidemic is most evident.

And keep in mind that both stress and sleep deprivation have been shown to increase weight gain/slow weight loss even after controlling for caloric intake and activity level. The constant low-grade stress that a growing segment of economically marginal families live with cannot be ignored in any thoughtful conversation about the reasons behind skyrocketing obesity rates.

[LisaR]

Originally Posted by Andtototoo

Obviously, we have a weight problem in this country. The causes of it are complex, interconnected, and variable, which is why the simplistic ideas we have about weight loss don't work.


There is a persistent myth I've encountered -- usually promulgated by people for whom weight loss is relatively easy -- that all a person has to do is try "harder" or "better" and the weight will come off.

You can work as hard as you possibly can and still end up with a "F" grade, whether it's algebra or weight loss.

And the myth that I regularly encounter is, "You're thin so you can't possibly understand how hard it is." That myth tends to come from overweight people and I find it insulting.

I'm over 40, have PCOS and thyroid disease, obesity runs in my family along with heart disease and diabetes, and I have given birth. All of those things put me at a higher risk of being overweight. The notion that I sit around eating Bon-Bons all day and the weight just melts off of me is ridiculous. I work my butt off to not end up like my parents and grandparents.

It is WORK. HARD WORK! I don't eat fast food or order pizza. I haven't bought things like potato chips, soda, cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, or candy in probably 20 years. But if I say that I get the, "Well, aren't you just perfect" or "You aren't living." Refer to the thread above about being fat and sassy versus thin and angry and sad I work hard to avoid the diseases that plague my family and, for me, that means not putting that crap into my body EVER. It also means exercising regularly even when I don't feel like it.

We just had a homemade batch of chocolate chip cookies (for those that think I am deprived). But I can pretty much guarantee you my cookies aren't what most are use to eating. There are only four ingredients in them and they were perfect because they are exactly what we are used to. If we ate Oreos multiple times a week, I'm pretty sure my cookies would taste like crap by comparison. But that is the choice we have made. So when people say they "do everything" possible to lose weight and they can't, I'm skeptical because I know that most people haven't really done all they can. Instead, I think that most have done all they are WILLING to do. That is fine. Their life, their body. But the PCOS, child-bearing, thyroid disease, genetics, slow metabolism, excuses are just that. Some of us are unfortunately plagued with this curse. Just like my dyslexic son has to work ten times harder than the kid without dyslexia, I have to work ten times harder than the person without all of the above problems. It sucks but it is life.

I love our lifestyle and wouldn't change it for anything. I am very happy but I still work everyday to keep the pounds off.

[Andtototoo]

Originally Posted by LisaR

And the myth that I regularly encounter is, "You're thin so you can't possibly understand how hard it is." That myth tends to come from overweight people and I find it insulting.

I'm over 40, have PCOS and thyroid disease, obesity runs in my family along with heart disease and diabetes, and I have given birth. All of those things put me at a higher risk of being overweight. The notion that I sit around eating Bon-Bons all day and the weight just melts off of me is ridiculous. I work my butt off to not end up like my parents and grandparents.

It is WORK. HARD WORK! I don't eat fast food or order pizza. I haven't bought things like potato chips, soda, cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, or candy in probably 20 years. But if I say that I get the, "Well, aren't you just perfect" or "You aren't living." Refer to the thread above about being fat and sassy versus thin and angry and sad I work hard to avoid the diseases that plague my family and, for me, that means not putting that crap into my body EVER. It also means exercising regularly even when I don't feel like it.

We just had a homemade batch of chocolate chip cookies (for those that think I am deprived). But I can pretty much guarantee you my cookies aren't what most are use to eating. There are only four ingredients in them and they were perfect because they are exactly what we are used to. If we ate Oreos multiple times a week, I'm pretty sure my cookies would taste like crap by comparison. But that is the choice we have made. So when people say they "do everything" possible to lose weight and they can't, I'm skeptical because I know that most people haven't really done all they can. Instead, I think that most have done all they are WILLING to do. That is fine. Their life, their body. But the PCOS, child-bearing, thyroid disease, genetics, slow metabolism, excuses are just that. Some of us are unfortunately plagued with this curse. Just like my dyslexic son has to work ten times harder than the kid without dyslexia, I have to work ten times harder than the person without all of the above problems. It sucks but it is life.

I love our lifestyle and wouldn't change it for anything. I am very happy but I still work everyday to keep the pounds off.

Okay, then. I think it's time for me to bow out.

[FireDancer]

Originally Posted by LisaR

And the myth that I regularly encounter is, "You're thin so you can't possibly understand how hard it is." That myth tends to come from overweight people and I find it insulting.

I'm over 40, have PCOS and thyroid disease, obesity runs in my family along with heart disease and diabetes, and I have given birth. All of those things put me at a higher risk of being overweight. The notion that I sit around eating Bon-Bons all day and the weight just melts off of me is ridiculous. I work my butt off to not end up like my parents and grandparents.

It is WORK. HARD WORK! I don't eat fast food or order pizza. I haven't bought things like potato chips, soda, cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, or candy in probably 20 years. But if I say that I get the, "Well, aren't you just perfect" or "You aren't living." Refer to the thread above about being fat and sassy versus thin and angry and sad I work hard to avoid the diseases that plague my family and, for me, that means not putting that crap into my body EVER. It also means exercising regularly even when I don't feel like it.

We just had a homemade batch of chocolate chip cookies (for those that think I am deprived). But I can pretty much guarantee you my cookies aren't what most are use to eating. There are only four ingredients in them and they were perfect because they are exactly what we are used to. If we ate Oreos multiple times a week, I'm pretty sure my cookies would taste like crap by comparison. But that is the choice we have made. So when people say they "do everything" possible to lose weight and they can't, I'm skeptical because I know that most people haven't really done all they can. Instead, I think that most have done all they are WILLING to do. That is fine. Their life, their body. But the PCOS, child-bearing, thyroid disease, genetics, slow metabolism, excuses are just that. Some of us are unfortunately plagued with this curse. Just like my dyslexic son has to work ten times harder than the kid without dyslexia, I have to work ten times harder than the person without all of the above problems. It sucks but it is life.

I love our lifestyle and wouldn't change it for anything. I am very happy but I still work everyday to keep the pounds off.

My favorite is "you are thin so you can eat anything". Um, no. The reality is that I am thin because I don't just eat anything.

I also hear the "enjoy life once in a while" line and just don't get it. I love my life. I don't define happiness with high calorie foods or food in general. I like what I eat, I don't force down a bunch of stuff that I hate just because it is healthy. For example, I don't really like cheese that much. It isn't like I'm whipping myself because I don't have it often. I'd rather have most fresh vegetables over cheese even if they were both nutritional the same because I just like them better.

Don't get me wrong, there are things I have in moderation that aren't the best for me. I like craft beers and the occasional dessert but I don't have them every day and then lie to myself and say I "have them in moderation". I think most (but not all) things are fine in moderation but actual moderation.

[LSmith]

Originally Posted by LisaR

And the myth that I regularly encounter is, "You're thin so you can't possibly understand how hard it is." That myth tends to come from overweight people and I find it insulting.

I'm over 40, have PCOS and thyroid disease, obesity runs in my family along with heart disease and diabetes, and I have given birth. All of those things put me at a higher risk of being overweight. The notion that I sit around eating Bon-Bons all day and the weight just melts off of me is ridiculous. I work my butt off to not end up like my parents and grandparents.

It is WORK. HARD WORK! I don't eat fast food or order pizza. I haven't bought things like potato chips, soda, cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, or candy in probably 20 years. But if I say that I get the, "Well, aren't you just perfect" or "You aren't living." Refer to the thread above about being fat and sassy versus thin and angry and sad I work hard to avoid the diseases that plague my family and, for me, that means not putting that crap into my body EVER. It also means exercising regularly even when I don't feel like it.

We just had a homemade batch of chocolate chip cookies (for those that think I am deprived). But I can pretty much guarantee you my cookies aren't what most are use to eating. There are only four ingredients in them and they were perfect because they are exactly what we are used to. If we ate Oreos multiple times a week, I'm pretty sure my cookies would taste like crap by comparison. But that is the choice we have made. So when people say they "do everything" possible to lose weight and they can't, I'm skeptical because I know that most people haven't really done all they can. Instead, I think that most have done all they are WILLING to do. That is fine. Their life, their body. But the PCOS, child-bearing, thyroid disease, genetics, slow metabolism, excuses are just that. Some of us are unfortunately plagued with this curse. Just like my dyslexic son has to work ten times harder than the kid without dyslexia, I have to work ten times harder than the person without all of the above problems. It sucks but it is life.

I love our lifestyle and wouldn't change it for anything. I am very happy but I still work everyday to keep the pounds off.

I agree. Heck, I don't even own a thyroid! It was removed due to cancer 6 years ago. I do have a slower metabolism which means I have to watch very, very carefully what I consume.

I have 3 kids and lots of the normal stress that comes with that. Also, tons of diabetes and obesity in the family.

Exercise is an important part of my day. I drag my carcass out of bed at 5:00 am every morning.

I constantly read everything I can on nutrition and change my ways accordingly. I don't (can't) consume soda, sweets of any kind (except some fruit), pasta, rice, fast foods. I eat almost no meat or dairy and am working on eliminating them entirely. I had to give up cheese, my favourite food on the planet.

I exist mostly on plants, which is the best way to get protein.

I travel almost constantly which means paying close attention to what I eat in restaurants and eating out of the local grocery store salad bar when at all possible.

If my pants start getting tight, I know it's time to really get serious.

I also make sure that I feed my children the same way. It is my obligation as a parent to prepare them healthy foods.

It's not easy for anyone given the culture of eating carbs, fast and processed food these days but it is up to us to not give in to temptation.

It is not about the size or the look of the person, obesity kills.

[badblackpug]

I avoided even commenting on this thread because I knew it was going to be all the same people talking about how wonderful and fit they are, but anyway...

The whole "bullying" thing is ridiculous. The guy who wrote the email was a horse's butt, but he wasn't bullying her. The email was ridiculous and unnecessary, but it wasn't bullying. It really didn't deserve anything more than the 1 second it would've taken to delete it.

We are a society that is obsessed by appearance, and along with that comes the idea that someone's self worth is based on their appearance. To suggest that this woman was poor role model because she is obese is ridiculous. (after all, didn't we have a whole thread dedicated to Hilary Clinton's hairdo? She's an educated, accomplished woman, who is probably one of the most powerful women in that nation, but her hairdo was really important)

The thing I have figured out over the years is that the people who are so quick to criticize others or so quick to toot their own horn about how wonderful they are, generally, have their own self-image problems.

[LSmith]

Originally Posted by badblackpug

I avoided even commenting on this thread because I knew it was going to be all the same people talking about how wonderful and fit they are, but anyway...

The whole "bullying" thing is ridiculous. The guy who wrote the email was a horse's butt, but he wasn't bullying her. The email was ridiculous and unnecessary, but it wasn't bullying. It really didn't deserve anything more than the 1 second it would've taken to delete it.

We are a society that is obsessed by appearance, and along with that comes the idea that someone's self worth is based on their appearance. To suggest that this woman was poor role model because she is obese is ridiculous. (after all, didn't we have a whole thread dedicated to Hilary Clinton's hairdo? She's an educated, accomplished woman, who is probably one of the most powerful women in that nation, but her hairdo was really important)

The thing I have figured out over the years is that the people who are so quick to criticize others or so quick to toot their own horn about how wonderful they are, generally, have their own self-image problems.

Who, exactly, said that they are wonderful and fit on this thread? I read that people, like myself, have to work very hard to maintain their weight by diet and exercise. Also, where is the criticism?

[jujube]

In the end, those of us with children, spouses, partners, and parents who rely us need to try our best to get and stay healthy. It's taking care of ourselves which unfortunately with all of the stressors in life maybe some feel they don't deserve. As I posted earlier, there's a fitness program that only takes 15 minutes a day. Who of us doesn't have 15 minutes? If you work in a high rise building, start taking stairs, even if it's just one floor's worth at first. If you work in a building that's only one level, park as far as away as you can and walk. For those who like to snack, keep celery, carrot sticks, and boiled eggs in the fridge and grab one of those for a snack instead of less healthy choices. Have a hamburger patty, chicken breast, or some other protein because proteins really satisfy hunger pangs whereas carbs make you crave more carbs and you dont feel satisfied.
Some have said they exercise like crazy, watch their diets, and still can't lose weight. For those people, I encourage you to see a doctor because if you're burning more calories than you're taking in and you're not losing weight, seems like there's a problem.

How many overweight elderly people do any of us see? How many of us want to be around to see our grandchildren? How many of us want to travel or just kickback when we retire? Taking care of ourselves now will help us to achieve those goals later.

[Swan4Me]

I have not read all 18 pages here but wanted to mention something about the video
That woman had a very ill fitting jacket 'thrown' over a dress and that made her look even heavier! I have seen heavy women (and we used to have one as a local newscaster) who dressed so they looked great-its do-able

[Ember]

Ah, the DIS. The place of perfect people who can look down on others for not being as perfect as they are. We should rename the place "Mary Poppins" seeing as we're all practically perfect in every way.

If you have mastered controlling your own weight, good for you. If you have mastered your money and are debt free with oodles of savings, good for you. If you have the perfect life, relationship, children and friends, good for you. None of this makes you morally superior or a fundamentally better person. Be proud of your accomplishments, but don't look down on others. They are not less deserving of basic human respect or kindness just because they don't meet your guidelines for existing on the planet.

[LisaR]

Originally Posted by Ember

Ah, the DIS. The place of perfect people who can look down on others for not being as perfect as they are. We should rename the place "Mary Poppins" seeing as we're all practically perfect in every way.

If you have mastered controlling your own weight, good for you. If you have mastered your money and are debt free with oodles of savings, good for you. If you have the perfect life, relationship, children and friends, good for you. None of this makes you morally superior or a fundamentally better person. Be proud of your accomplishments, but don't look down on others. They are not less deserving of basic human respect or kindness just because they don't meet your guidelines for existing on the planet.

I personally don't hear anyone here saying they are perfect.

I do believe we (DH & I) work hard for everything we have in life. Nothing has been handed to us. We keep our weight down and our blood work stable with a ton of hard work on a daily basis. We don't give up. Sometimes we complain but we pull ourselves up and get back to doing what we know is necessary to stay on the path we have laid before us. It never once occurred to either one of us that we were morally superior or fundamentally better than anyone else. But when someone says they can't do that, we definitely say, "sure you can." Maybe we should change our attitude. The next time someone says they can't lose weight, we will say, "You're right. Your situation is an anomaly. You are never going to be able to overcome this obstacle before you. Your situation is hopeless and there are simply no answers for your problems. But, hey! Keep your chin up."