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Old 10-02-2012, 11:08 AM   #16
jen0610
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I am sooooo glad that around here, homecoming and prom are to very different types of dances.

NEVER in a million years, would tuxes and dinner reservations be mentioned in talking about going to the homecoming dance here. The kids go in their everyday clothing. There will be groups that are dressed nicer, but no suits and no "formal" dresses will be seen.

And dinner, they might hit Red Lobster, Logans or Texas Roadhouse. But the places that need a reservation to make sure you can get in, are left for prom. The big dance of the year. Everything else, is small potatoes around here.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:16 AM   #17
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I agree. My son went to homecoming last week, and the girls did all the planning. I eventually found out what the plan was.

Your school wears tuxes to homecoming? I've never seen that before!
I was shocked to see that too.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:17 AM   #18
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Maybe the son asked Mom to go ahead and make a reservation for him just to calm her down.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:19 AM   #19
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In the city I grew up in, homecoming was just another dance.

In this city, it is a big deal. Tuxes, formal gowns, limos, etc.

Okay. I am going to take a deep breath and chill.

DS did tell me that he has his planning period with the head of the group, and that he would talk to her today.

I will not make reservations.
I will not freak out.
I will chill.
I will let the kids be kids, and muddle their way through this if need be.

This will be my new mantra.

Thanks everyone. I am high strung anyway, and tend to get overly involved in things that don't concern me (that is the main reason I don't Facebook).

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Old 10-02-2012, 11:23 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rszdtrvl View Post
In the city I grew up in, homecoming was just another dance.

In this city, it is a big deal. Tuxes, formal gowns, limos, etc.

Okay. I am going to take a deep breath and chill.

DS did tell me that he has his planning period with the head of the group, and that he would talk to her today.

I will not make reservations.
I will not freak out.
I will chill.
I will let the kids be kids, and muddle their way through this if need be.

This will be my new mantra.

Thanks everyone. I am high strung anyway, and tend to get overly involved in things that don't concern me (that is the main reason I don't Facebook).

Sounds perfect.

Honestly, I tend to freak out a lot about stuff like that, too...but I either do it inside my head or at DH. Never at or around DS.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:23 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rszdtrvl View Post
In the city I grew up in, homecoming was just another dance.

In this city, it is a big deal. Tuxes, formal gowns, limos, etc.

Okay. I am going to take a deep breath and chill.

DS did tell me that he has his planning period with the head of the group, and that he would talk to her today.

I will not make reservations.
I will not freak out.
I will chill.
I will let the kids be kids, and muddle their way through this if need be.

This will be my new mantra.

Thanks everyone. I am high strung anyway, and tend to get overly involved in things that don't concern me (that is the main reason I don't Facebook).

If it helps, think of this as useful training for things he's going to have to do all the time in a few years: make plans, make reservations, and deal with flakey friends. A few of my friends never did this growing up, and still, a decade and more later, they get all nervous and shy about making reservations.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:26 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by TinkerBelled View Post
If it helps, think of this as useful training for things he's going to have to do all the time in a few years: make plans, make reservations, and deal with flakey friends. A few of my friends never did this growing up, and still, a decade and more later, they get all nervous and shy about making reservations.
Exactly. They will figure it out and if things don't work out perfectly, they will still have a great time and remember it for planning next time (maybe). I don't even ask about their plans until about 3 days before. DD went to 4 years of dances and they always seem to figure stuff out eventually.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:37 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by TinkerBelled View Post
If it helps, think of this as useful training for things he's going to have to do all the time in a few years: make plans, make reservations, and deal with flakey friends. A few of my friends never did this growing up, and still, a decade and more later, they get all nervous and shy about making reservations.
Totally agree except...

The original post sounds as if the OP was urging her son to txt the friend he doesn't know about the reservations, who's in the group, the date's dress, etc., etc.

Which a. I assume you're going to stop asking him about all the stuff you want done, but b. that just sounds like it'd begin to make someone into ... the OP.

If you don't want your son to need to have this much control and involvement and worry and fret and freakout over stuff - don't teach him that he's supposed to. The whole 'call X to see if/to ask...' seems like teaching him he's supposed to.

He may have an entirely different attitude and just not care whether stuff is planned out or whether there are reservations. Some people care and want an evening to match up with an idea and etc. Some people don't think that way and focus on one thing, without caring about where they'll go to dinner. They're happy that way, same as you're happy your way.

I'm only saying this because the litany of questions he didn't know the answer to in the first post, with the tone, made me nervous even though I don't know either of you and am not in the same state. I don't do frantic like that. I can't imagine someone who does (I realize some people just operate like that and it's fine), asking me and asking again and following up and... I'd just not go, to avoid that.

I think it's great you asked and were open-minded and once everyone agreed, saw you should back off and will. Really.

Just saying, he may not have the same personality as you (suggested by that you have to prompt him to txt about this stuff), and that's ok.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:41 AM   #24
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:42 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rszdtrvl View Post
In the city I grew up in, homecoming was just another dance.

In this city, it is a big deal. Tuxes, formal gowns, limos, etc.

Okay. I am going to take a deep breath and chill.

DS did tell me that he has his planning period with the head of the group, and that he would talk to her today.

I will not make reservations.
I will not freak out.
I will chill.
I will let the kids be kids, and muddle their way through this if need be.

This will be my new mantra.

Thanks everyone. I am high strung anyway, and tend to get overly involved in things that don't concern me (that is the main reason I don't Facebook).



Great!! But if your son asked you to make reservations, make sure you tell him today after school that you thought about it and think he should do the reservation making and if he wants them he needs to do it. (so he doesn't think you did make them and he has a fall back plan already done)
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:50 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by rszdtrvl View Post
Let me first say that I am a "Type A" personality. Plan, plan, plan. Know exactly what is going on.

My son is going to homecoming next week. He has a date. His date wants them to go with a group of her friends. One friend is "in charge".

DS texted the friend to see if they have reservations for dinner yet (at my request). The friend responded "not yet".

DS asked who all was in the group. The friend has not responded.

At least his date responded with the color of her dress.

DS is not in the social circle of these classmates. He has, however, spent time with them.

I am going crazy! For me to be such a planner and to have things so far up in the air when homecoming is only 11 days away is causing me to freak out!!

I am going to make reservations for DS and his date today. I can always cancel if the friend gets her rear in gear.

AAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!

Would you just let them deal with it all, or would you make reservations for your child and their date? To me, time is creeping up quickly, and they are going to be at a total loss if things don't start moving NOW!
I'm in a similar boat, because my 15 yo son has never even gone on a date before. He asked a junior girl who is also not in his group. At this school, a big deal is made of HC. He is clueless, so I've had to step up to guide him. Many of the groups have "dinner parties" at someone's house, and I'm actually glad we're not doing that this time.

When I asked a slew of questions, dress color, corsage preference, ect... He looked at me like I had grown horns. So I wrote down what he needs to know and why. He called the girl and wrote down her answers! We'll be driving them because the girl didn't want to drive, and actually will eat in the restaurant in the bar and just grab their tab. I'll go next week to my florist and have them make something nice.

Next year, he'll have a better idea on how to handle it! Good luck! I'm sure they'll have a blast!
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:27 PM   #27
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Um, kids without reservations generally go eat at Dennys or McDonalds and then they laugh and tell their funny stories about being in their formal dance clothes in the middle of Dennys.

Relax. They will not starve.
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:31 PM   #28
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Um, kids without reservations generally go eat at Dennys or McDonalds and then they laugh and tell their funny stories about being in their formal dance clothes in the middle of Dennys.

Relax. They will not starve.
Seriously, it's not the end of the world.

DH and I still laugh about us not deciding where we wanted to eat after we got married in Las Vegas. Before we knew it it was almost midnight. We ended up at the 24 hour coffee shop place in Treasure Island. I had a BBQ roast beef sandwich. There was a couple in a tux and wedding gown at the next table.
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:58 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by KMarston View Post
I'm in a similar boat, because my 15 yo son has never even gone on a date before. He asked a junior girl who is also not in his group. At this school, a big deal is made of HC. He is clueless, so I've had to step up to guide him. Many of the groups have "dinner parties" at someone's house, and I'm actually glad we're not doing that this time.

When I asked a slew of questions, dress color, corsage preference, ect... He looked at me like I had grown horns. So I wrote down what he needs to know and why. He called the girl and wrote down her answers! We'll be driving them because the girl didn't want to drive, and actually will eat in the restaurant in the bar and just grab their tab. I'll go next week to my florist and have them make something nice.

Next year, he'll have a better idea on how to handle it! Good luck! I'm sure they'll have a blast!
This is exactly my son!! He is somewhat socially awkward too, and just has no idea what all this entails.

Hopefully he will get some answers at school today.

I did warn him that if they don't figure something out for dinner that they will be eating at McDonalds or pizza in what we call "Pilates Park".
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Old 10-02-2012, 01:40 PM   #30
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You said your piece to your son more than enough times.

Your next step should be to tell your son that your are giving him the reigns and HE needs to take charge. Tell him to "man up".

Then step back and try and chill out & let him plan.
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