|09-30-2012, 09:58 PM||#16|
Join Date: Sep 2010
Oh, sweetie, my heart is breaking just reading your posts. The other posters are absolutely correct...you are worth it just because you are you! Call the hotline, do what you can to escape you environment, find your empowerment and get moving on your life! Being overweight doesn't prevaricate happiness. Your mom feels unable to control what is happening in your life so she is looking for blame, in other words, things are bad because your are overweight. That's a bunch of crap! Take some steps, you can do it, and you are totally, completely worth it.
|09-30-2012, 09:59 PM||#17|
DisneyMom to Disneylover0105
Love to Dance
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Originally CA, but now Panama City, FL
Everyone can make friends and get jobs. When I was younger I was the ultra skinny person and people would joke about/with me about my weight. I was also very shy. But I agree with the other posters in that your mother is toxic in her attitude.
If you are not in counseling, you need to get into it. I personally do not wear jeans because I have put on weight since I lost my job 3 years ago. So jeans are not comfortable. I am currently that person in the commercial that wears the yoga pants all the time.
Where I used to work, my co-worker was and still is a very good friend of mine. She was very overweight. She is a very delightful woman. I have other "pooh" sized friends and would never not be their friend because of their weight.
As far as medications, if one isn't working, keep pushing until they get you on one that does work. I was on one for so long that it finally stopped working. They had to change my medication to something different. There is something that will work for you.
Hang in there, don't give up! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I Believe in Magic...
DL yearly 1969-78, Dec 99, Jul 04, Sept 06, Apr 07 FW 1972 SoG Nov 95, Jun 97, Jul 99, Nov 01 AS Sports Resort - Nov 2000; Apr & Nov 02; Mar & May 03; May & Oct 04, Apr 06 Coronado Springs Resort - Nov 03 Pop Century Mar/Apr, May, & Nov 05, Jan 06, Dec 11, Dec 12 Celebration World Resort Nov/Dec 09
It's A Girl - Natalie Grace!
Birthday 5/20/2010 - 3 years old now! Our dancing baby!
|10-01-2012, 06:27 PM||#18|
Tipsy Pioneer (Committed PUI)
Has trouble holding on to tags
Release your inner Betty Crocker!
I shoulda had a V-8!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dreamin' WDW
My heart is breaking for you!
First, you are worthy of friendship, a life and self value! The latter being most important.
You are worthy of happiness. You just forgot that or never really understood that.
It will be however you need to make the first of several steps. Take a deep breathe, again it will be fine!
Please talk to a live person you trust if not a professional ( I only say this due to money being a factor in what you are stating) So I guess I am asking do you have anyone outside of the family to talk to?
If no, its no wonder you feel so isolated. Everyone needs a friend!
Talk to us, it is ok. I have leaned on the friends I made here many times throughout the years and I love them with my whole heart!
Best way to do this is break the wall down in steps. Then its not a wall anymore!
What is most important to you, not what we may think, just you.
Lets break it down together
By the way, I am sure there is so much positive about you, you just aren't seeing it at the moment.
Hang in there and keep swimming!
|10-01-2012, 08:41 PM||#19|
I think I could adjust!!
Owns a S'mores maker .... yum
I have declared a moratorium on the food/kid appliances
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: MN, USA
Don't call the hotline. Go to the emergency room. You need a few days without the stress of your mom and you need immediate help. There is nothing wrong with needing help but there is very much wrong with your mom treating you like this.
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. William Butler Yeats
|10-01-2012, 11:29 PM||#21|
just full of pass questions
Onward and Downward!
Join Date: Jul 2001
Listen to Buckalew, she's got great advice!
My daughter has felt exactly the same way about me, I'm pretty sure. She has suffered from anxiety, depression, been diagnosed with the wrong things, given the wrong meds. Psychotropic meds of any kind, or meds that contain hormones make things much, much worse for her.
Can't tell you the number of hours I have lied awake worrying about her. And I have said a few inappropriate things which she always remembers with a bit of a twist or embellishment. Like your mom, I was trying to get her to fight for her own happiness, even though I knew it had to come from her. I did pay a therapist, that was kind of a disaster.
Did a lot of research and came to realize that her hormones were probably out of whack and diet might help. I could not make her change her diet, of course, so I changed mine. And was kind of obnoxious about it.
In January she decided to try it too, and it's been sort of a miracle for her. When she stays off gluten, sugar, and watches her carbs, her PMS and mood swings are under control. She did lose weight, but the mental stuff is even more impressive. She's socializing. She made a friend at work and moved into an apartment with her, got a nice boyfriend, is doing well at work. Still doesn't exercise, but if she sticks with her diet most of the time she continues to do well.
I keep my fingers crossed all the time, but she is doing it for herself. I hope you can find a way to help yourself too. Finding a job is a good first step. Gives you some independence and a way to meet new people. Good luck.
|10-02-2012, 06:32 AM||#22|
Join Date: Jan 2001
Drugs can help you. Now they are not going to cure you however they can make life managable so you can work and have your own money.
Are you on disability? If you cannot work due to your condition you can get on disability. However that takes work and filling out papers and a doctor to help you in that direction.
My point is that YOU have to get yourself professional help. Medications have come a long way in the last few yrs. Jump back in the game and try to get help.
If you feel like hanging yourself again, please go to the emergency room.
|10-02-2012, 06:56 AM||#23|
Join Date: Feb 2004
|10-02-2012, 08:07 AM||#24|
I just cant go on demand
Hi my name is Mkop and I am a cart leaver!
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Philly Suburbs!!!!
Good advice and you need to believe in yourself and seek out the proper help, the first med or the first dr you see do no always have the answers.
Since you want to get out of the house even for a short period of time, how about joining a gym, or seeking out excercise classes through your rec dept. Or just get out and walk. It gets you out of the toxic environment for a bit, it can help clear your mind or help you sort things through while walking and it is excercise, it may not make you lose a ton of weight, the walking that is, but it may help you just FEEL better.
Good luck OP, I wish the best for you
DH Me DS16 : DS11
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|10-02-2012, 08:10 AM||#25|
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York
Please reach out to someone right now... a hot-line, a family member, a friend, your doctor, etc. There are people and programs that can help you.
Call your Doctor, tell them how you are feeling and get into the office for a full physical and some blood work. You can call any hot-line but if you have a local hot-line, they can put you in touch with services that can help you. Or, try the Dept. of Social Services for programs that can help you begin to reach your potential.
I'm hoping your mother's heart is in the right place but she's just going about it the wrong way.
|10-02-2012, 08:50 AM||#26|
The Tag Fairy thinks my Chocolate Lab Hershey is a cutie!
WHAT IS THE STUPID DEAL WITH THESE BANANAS?
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hampstead, MD
And please don't let your mom get you down. I agree with what the other posters have said about getting help and trying to get out of the house to be on your own. But until that happens, while you are still at home and having to deal with your mother, PLEASE build up a kind of armor that lets her words bounce off of you. DON'T take them to heart, no matter how harsh they are. Keep telling yourself that you are worth it (you are!) and that nothing your mom says is true. Just accept in your mind that your mom has issues and she hasn't a clue about how to treat you and that her words are meaningless.
You have a very distinct purpose to be here... each of us does. You are unique, and you are loved by God. I know I'm just a stranger, but sometimes it's easiest to vent and talk with those you don't know. I'd love to talk with you if you ever feel the need. Please PM me, now or in the future any time.
Please hang in there!
|10-02-2012, 12:25 PM||#27|
I guess that makes me a kiddie song expert.
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bensalem, PA
I agree with everyone else. You have the same right to breathe the air as all of us do. You have the right to a happy life, without being told what a loser you are constantly.
We're all losers sometimes, and we're all winners sometimes. Join the group! Go out each day - look for that job - even if you are turned down, you will get practice in applying for jobs!
I find that when a person is depressed at all - get a job helping others. How about a nurse's aide or cleaning person at a local hospital? They are always short of help. Maybe that's for you. Believe in yourself. You are an important part of society. Go out & explore new possibilities.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
(You are NOT a loser! )
Pop, POFQ, & POR
|10-02-2012, 12:36 PM||#28|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Suburb of Chicago
I too suffer from depression. I am bi-polar and have severe anxiety issues. I have found that meds go in 5/7 year cycles. They work and then I have to find something different. Are you seeing a psychologist? Call now and ask for a payment plan. This is the doctor to consult for your meds. I do believe you can find a med that works, but it takes work and right now you have such deep depression you barely have any energy.
Got that. Been there.
Focus on you. Right now all of your depression is focused on your mom. Yes she is a huge issue, but truly you are the issue. You. Take time to fix you. There is help and there is free help.This is not about jeans, or a job. Thin people get depressed. Folks with jobs get depressed. You are focusing on the outward issues.
Contact the hotline. Not recognizing people. Feeling like you are drowning. Can't get up.... these are all serious issues.
You go girl! Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot deal with this. You can. Make the call. March you butt into counseling. Move forward.
|10-02-2012, 12:41 PM||#29|
Disneyland Bride 2000
If you can't say somethng nice, come sit next to me
Has the wherewithall to save bakery goods from earthquakes
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California and Flexico
My very first instinct is to tell you to get the heck away from your mother.
Overweight people DO have friends and CAN get jobs and we meet strangers every day.
I am overweight and just had a surprise birthday party thrown for me at work. By my friends, that were strangers when I first met them. Trust me when I say that they are not just pretending to be my friends or faking it. I got presents and everything.
You have a right to your feelings, and being upset did have nothing to do with the show you were watching.
You sound like a very articulate woman to me who is just on the verge of discovering who she can be and who knows what the future holds for you. You have landed two jobs on your own, that is an incredible accomplishment. Build on that and start to pay your own credit card bills and stash money away so you can move out and be on your own.
Don't be afraid to ask for help from the right people. Therapy is a gorgeous thing.
PS-Not everyone wears jeans.
|10-02-2012, 12:42 PM||#30|
He's such a fiend!
The monkeys would go crazy on the cars
I wound up with orange tiger stripes
Join Date: Oct 2007
There is some good advice; please pick what you think will work and try it.
If you are against meds, you don't have to be on them forever...sometimes just long enough to get you through. Everyone is worthy of love and life and happiness.
Please keep us updated.
ETA I am plus-sized, and my mom reminds me of that as frequently as she can. I have learned to let it roll off my back, but that sure didn't happen overnight! I also agree with OPs who've said maybe your mom thinks she is helping (totally backwards, yes) or that she is having an issue and is taking it out on you.
Me DH DD 22 DD 20 DS 18 And on 10/11/10 I became a DG
Junior Brody Stella Luna Ella the Bunny
Christmas 07/New Years 08-CBR (baseball), 2006-POR (cheering), 2001-Dixie Landings, 1988, 1975-Offsite
Trip was great...no new ticker for awhile!
My new avatar is one of my tags
Last edited by njmom47; 10-02-2012 at 01:00 PM.
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