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Old 09-30-2012, 03:30 PM   #1
Becc1
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Teenagers and Twitter accounts

Does anyone else secretly look at their teens twitter and/or facebook accounts? My DS17 knows I am on FB often and can see his page since we are friends but he never is on there anymore. But he is constantly updating his twitter page. I have a twitter account which I never use but the past month I have once a week or so looked at my DS's page which he doesn't know because I am not a follower of his. I know alot of people will say that this is an invasion of privacy but in my defense his page is open so anyone can look at it. Here's my problem, when he is mad at me he'll post rude comments about me and the family, the latest being yesterday when he said something about me being the B word. Would you be mad at your teen if you saw something like that? I tell my DH that he's just doing what we all did as teens, venting to his friends about his family but the fact that this is going out to 300+ "friends" bugs me. I know if I say something he'll just block me, which is pobably a good thing.
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Old 09-30-2012, 04:11 PM   #2
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I look at all that stuff but not secretly. They know. It's our internet safetly rule. I need to know logins and passwords. I don't log in to their accounts but I could if I want to and they know it. I watch what they post on FB and twitter. I have seen things I didn't think were appropriate and told them take it down. They do.

ETA- if my DS called me a B-word on FB I would either publicly call him out on it embarassing him in front of his friends or privately tell him to delete it just depending on how mad I was by it. Oh and if he tried to block me he would lose the priviledge (it's not a right)
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Old 09-30-2012, 04:14 PM   #3
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My daughter,12 has a Twitter account. I follow her and she knows I do. She also knows if she posts something rude or obscene she will lose her phone and account. I randomly go through her phone and all apps. I do it in front of her and question anything I don't like. I do not go through her emails or instagram account. She was told no pictures of her are to be posted and I feel confident she is listening to that rule. She needs a place to vent, and thats what she is doing on instagram, I assume. Not that I do anything she would NEED to vent about : D
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:07 PM   #4
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It's amazing what kids and even some adults say on Twitter.
They brag about getting "plastered" (at 16 and 17 yrs old)
they brag about pot
they even give out phone numbers and addresses

What I find the most amusing, is the kids that have the parents that are "control freaks" about their kids-- seem to have the kids that are giving out all the info!
How these parents don't see it is beyond me.

*Last week my dd figured out that her boyfriends Dad was stalking her Twitter as he seemed to know so much about what she was doing, where she was, etc. -just creepy if you ask me
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:37 PM   #5
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I think you have the right to be upset. Whining to his close friends is one thing, but posting it on Facebook or Twitter for all to see is inappropriate. Not only does this reflect negatively on you, but it makes him look like a jerk. Employers, colleges, fraternities, organizations, etc. are doing Facebook checks to get a sense of someone's personality. If someone reads that, it's going to reflect badly on him.

If you were reading though his email, text messages, or Facebook chat, then I would say you're invading his privacy. But he posted it on his status or Twitter feed for the world to see? He made it public.

Coming from someone in their early 20s who can relate to this generation, I actually think you should punish him. Take his computer/phone privileges away for a specified duration of time.... or have him deactivate (not delete - teenagers take their online profiles very seriously) his profile... it's very easy to do, and when he can turn it back on, he doesn't lose any of his photos/comments/etc.

My little sister has a Twitter account. She says that her age group has moved to Twitter because all of the parents have joined Facebook.

They say some of the most awful things there. She showed me this trend of kid her age creating these "Memes" with their photos - not only inappropriate, but mean and hurtful. They labeled girls as stupid, "homewreckers," etc. (For example, they took a picture of one girl and wrote on top of it, "I'm DTF," except wrote it out... and that wasn't even the worst!!!) I couldn't believe this was going on. The same kids who were posting Bible verses on Facebook were throwing out curse words left and right on Twitter.

I don't understand the concept of Twitter. I don't understand why most people would care about what I'm thinking or doing at the time.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:11 PM   #6
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I have a twitter account but I never get on there because the kids mainly used face book. Now my kids are never on face book but they spend more time on twitter and instagram. I guess I need to get with it and find out how to use them.

If I found a post like that from one of my kids I would be hurt and they would be grounded from the internet. I would take away anything they used to get online.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:24 PM   #7
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There would be hell to pay if my son calledme a (w)itch on Twitter.
And after I was done reaming him out for that, I'd tell him what an idiot he is for having it public so I could see it.
Totally disrespectful.
As for looking at the account, my kids are young- 11 and about to be 13, the 11 year old has nothing, but the 13 year old- I get all her passwords and she knows I can check up on her whenever I feel like it. I don't check her texts, but I do check her facebook and instagram, make sure she is not embarrassing herself by putting something stupid, disrespectful or classless up there for all to see.
She never has, and she's not the type, but every kid makes some dumb mistakes so I keep an eye on it.

We have a little something we call PFB, private family business. You don't put your private family business up for the world to see. Period. I don't put up embarrassing statuses(stati?) or photos of my kids on fb and I expect the same regard from them. Tell him to vent to his friends, not to the world.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:24 PM   #8
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DD uses Twitter. She doesn't follow that many of her friends, she uses facebook and text to talk to them. She is a big WWE fan and follows her favorite wrestlers and some of their other fans. They talk about the show they are watching or whatever is going on in the wrestling world. And no, I don't read her account, but she is forever telling me what the conversations are going on.

I keep an eye on who she friends on FB, but that's about it.

I assume when she needs to vent, she probably does it via texts to her friends.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:30 PM   #9
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I'm 18 and in my sophomore year of college. At 17, I would never have posted that on the internet anyway, but if I did and my mom saw it she probably would have told me that it hurt her and that would have been enough for me to apologize and delete it.

ETA I'm facebook friends with her and she doesn't use twitter. My twitter is also private, though.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:35 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizabu View Post
I look at all that stuff but not secretly. They know. It's our internet safetly rule. I need to know logins and passwords. I don't log in to their accounts but I could if I want to and they know it. I watch what they post on FB and twitter. I have seen things I didn't think were appropriate and told them take it down. They do.

ETA- if my DS called me a B-word on FB I would either publicly call him out on it embarassing him in front of his friends or privately tell him to delete it just depending on how mad I was by it. Oh and if he tried to block me he would lose the priviledge (it's not a right)
At what age will you no longer demand passwords and logins for fb and twitter? I can understand at 12 or 13 but by 17 a bit of privacy should be allowed.
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:38 PM   #11
lizabu
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Originally Posted by PaulaSB12 View Post
At what age will you no longer demand passwords and logins for fb and twitter? I can understand at 12 or 13 but by 17 a bit of privacy should be allowed.
My oldest is 17 and I know his password. I don't log into his account but I could if I wanted to. I guess it's the modern day version of knowing where your teen keeps his or her diary or journal. Do you read it just because you know where it is?
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Old 09-30-2012, 11:11 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by lizabu View Post
My oldest is 17 and I know his password. I don't log into his account but I could if I wanted to. I guess it's the modern day version of knowing where your teen keeps his or her diary or journal. Do you read it just because you know where it is?
I don't have experience of teenagers but my sister has three and she doesn't know their passwords and is not on Facebook so hasn't friended them. I have but don't check up on them as they are 18 now and are adults.
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