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Old 09-28-2012, 04:18 PM   #16
JVL1018
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We got a birthday party invite like that this summer, too! We went away that weekend so we didn't attend, but I was shocked! I'm all for potluck, all summer we go to friends houses for BBQs with our circle of friends and no one EVER arrives empty handed..but for a birthday party? No.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:22 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by lovemygoofy View Post
I really hate being so nice and no doubt we will be attending the party but OMG!
My husband forwarded me the work invite for some people's open house/spouse's birthday party.

The party is a grill out and says in the email "what to bring: whatever you would like us to grill. We will provide some sausages and will grill all the meat brought. Also, bring side items you would like to include buns, chips, dessert and drinks."

Now I'm just about as easy going as you can get when it comes to parties especially in my own home I will be providing food too! I understand a potluck party, usually what kind we have at my own home, but this is pushing that a bit.

I was telling my mama about it and she said for us to bring our McDonalds and a six pack of beer.

Like I said we will be going because it's a work thing and we are all working to build up relationships before the guys go wheels up but it's also my birthday weekend. EXACTLY how I wanted to spend my Saturday night, going to a party where I bring the food.
I actually don't see anything wrong with this. I wouldn't do things this way....my last barbeque was catered (I paid for it too! )
I would connect with other invitees and see who is bringing what and look forward to a good time! Sounds like fun.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:25 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by JVL1018 View Post
We got a birthday party invite like that this summer, too! We went away that weekend so we didn't attend, but I was shocked! I'm all for potluck, all summer we go to friends houses for BBQs with our circle of friends and no one EVER arrives empty handed..but for a birthday party? No.
Same here. We do eith a BBQ or pizza night every other weekend in the summer with the neighbors and everyone brings beer, and either deserts or appetizers. However if I am having a party, I provide all the food and drinks. If someone wants to brin g something then that's fine but I would never send an invite asking guests to provide their own food.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:27 PM   #19
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When we have a party, we provide the "mains" - in summer, if we are BBQing, that would be hot dogs/hamburgers and veggie burgers or veggie hot dogs for veg-friends. I will usually also make potato or pasta salad. We also provide sodas/iced tea. We don't provide adult beverages - you want it, you bring it. I ask everyone who is attending to provide a salad or dessert to share.

We have our annual pumpkin-carving/Halloween party coming up. Invitations have already been sent out, and this year we are doing a "soup" buffet bar. I am making two soups; chili with toppings, and gluten-free vegetable beef soup. I have asked attendees to provide a different soup if they want something else, or a side dish; rolls, salads, etc. Again, we are providing sodas/iced tea and coffee and hot cider.

As much as I would like to be able to have friends over and provide ALL of the food, the truth is I just can't afford it. Also, my friends have many different food preferences and allergies. As much as I try to accommodate everyone, sometimes it's easier to just ask them to help bring their own.
I have no problem with this type of party and do several of them myself. The only time I provide everything is for Thanksgiving and our holiday open house. Every other time it is potluck style.

This time the invite leads me to believe they are providing the house and the grill and a few sausages. That is just odd to me and kinda cheap to be honest. I love potluck parties and usually have the most laid back ones you can imagine but I still provide some food.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:30 PM   #20
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That is crazy!!! We have been to many parties where they supply the meat, buns, etc, and guests bring a salad, dessert, side item, wine, wtc, but to have everyone bring their own food and they just cook it seems tacky to me! Plus, I know I would forget something, and then we'd be eating burgers withoput buns or cheese. Just seems like too much work to pack everything up and take it somewhere.

, Tina!
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:31 PM   #21
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WOW!

Now thats how you throw a low cost birthday party........

I like your Mom's idea!
Quick someone post this great money saving tip on the budget boards
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:32 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by lovemygoofy View Post
This time the invite leads me to believe they are providing the house and the grill and a few sausages. That is just odd to me and kinda cheap to be honest.
Yeah, that IS kind of what it sounds like..!
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:34 PM   #23
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I would just stay home and grill my own food.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:41 PM   #24
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I would just stay home and grill my own food.
I understand why you might feel that way, and yes, the invitation sounds kind of "cheap"... but isn't the point to a birthday party to get together with your friends and celebrate someone's special day?

So isn't it more important to not pass judgement, and instead just roll with it; doing what you can to help your friends out, in order to be with them for their celebration?

Just sayin'
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:50 PM   #25
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Sounds like my sister in law when she invites us over for Thanksgiving. She wants me to bring the mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, soda, dessert. While she wants her mom to bring turnips, sweet potatoes, veggie, etc. And SHE will put the turkey (that her mom bought) in the oven. She'll also provide the pickle/olive tray and butter.

I have no problem with a holiday being like this. Its lots of work and expense to host the holidays.

For a birthday party, either you host it or you don't. I think its tacky to ask people to supply their own food for someones birthday party.

I love pot-lucks, but this doesn't sound like a pot-luck as much as I want to have a party but everyone can bring their own food!
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:55 PM   #26
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So you have to bring your own food and a gift too? I would decline. Or show up with fast food and not stay long. I think this invite is super tacky.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:57 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Sorsha View Post
When we have a party, we provide the "mains" - in summer, if we are BBQing, that would be hot dogs/hamburgers and veggie burgers or veggie hot dogs for veg-friends. I will usually also make potato or pasta salad. We also provide sodas/iced tea. We don't provide adult beverages - you want it, you bring it. I ask everyone who is attending to provide a salad or dessert to share.

.
I never have to ask anyone to bring a side dish, anyone I have ever invited to a BBQ at my house always offers, and I do the same when invited to their homes.
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Old 09-28-2012, 04:59 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by powellrj View Post

I love pot-lucks, but this doesn't sound like a pot-luck as much as I want to have a party but everyone can bring their own food!
Isn't that what a pot-luck is?? "I want to have a party but everyone can bring their own food!"

Would everyone who thinks this invitation is so very rude and would just stay home instead of going to help celebrate someone birthday feel better about it if the invitation had said "We are having a pot-luck to celebrate XXX's birthday, please join us on X date at X time if you can and bring a dish to share"?
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Old 09-28-2012, 05:01 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by maslex View Post
Sounds like my sister in law when she invites us over for Thanksgiving. She wants me to bring the mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, soda, dessert. While she wants her mom to bring turnips, sweet potatoes, veggie, etc. And SHE will put the turkey (that her mom bought) in the oven. She'll also provide the pickle/olive tray and butter.
My SIL does the same thing, minus cooking the turkey. At one event she made iced tea and set the table, and went on and on about how hard she workd BUT...its way better than when she doesn't ask people to bring food. For her DSs birthday one year she told us to come for dinner and it would be pizza. She had 18 people in all. Ordered 2 pizzas and one order of breadsticks. Seriously. There were 16 slices of pizza for 18 people. We now have a tradition. We go out for ice cream before going to any event at her house.
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Old 09-28-2012, 05:02 PM   #30
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Interesting responses--- we call these "grill parties" and we love them!

We have friends who host one every Friday night in the summer. Each family brings whatever they want to grill (ranges from hotdogs/burgers, chicken, vegetables, fish---whatever) and an appetizer/side/dessert to share.

Host family provides the beverages (including wine and beer), table service, hot grills and hospitality!

Usually the host makes at least one salad....what everyone brings ranges from a couple of bags of chips to fancy sides/desserts---depending on time/mood.

They have a standing invite of about 60-70 people and a typical Friday has 20-25 people at it. Sometimes they've been dinner parties for 6 other times they are crazy big!

Honestly, these parties are the best part of summer!
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