Mom asked to leave Applebee's for breastfeeding

[sunshinehighway]

Originally Posted by chobie

I agree with the case with this particular woman, judge away! She did put herself out there, as did the women who had the feed-in,

However, the comments from women who have a problem with this are not limited to just the women who publicize, but to any woman who breastfeeds past a year, or when the kid cuts teeth (in my case that would have been 4 months) or even in public at all.

I see the comments about breastfeeding toddlers being more about in public than at all. Most people don't seem to have an issue with breastfeeding an infant in public. Its when we get to toddlers where the line about public breastfeeding gets blurry for some.

I heard the argument that its about feeding the child. The truth is, at that age there are other options while in certain situations. The whole "my hungry child needs to eat" doesn't fit like it does for an infant.

The soothing/calming argument is flimsy too. There are many ways to do that with children that age. As others have pointed out, you don't just give a toddler food to calm them.

Then there's the "bonding with my child" argument. I don't see how breastfeeding a toddler in a restaurant, target, or any other place like that is a great bonding time. Its just not the right time or place.

[punkin]

Originally Posted by sunshinehighway

I see the comments about breastfeeding toddlers being more about in public than at all. Most people don't seem to have an issue with breastfeeding an infant in public. Its when we get to toddlers where the line about public breastfeeding gets blurry for some.

I heard the argument that its about feeding the child. The truth is, at that age there are other options while in certain situations. The whole "my hungry child needs to eat" doesn't fit like it does for an infant.

The soothing/calming argument is flimsy too. There are many ways to do that with children that age. As others have pointed out, you don't just give a toddler food to calm them.

Then there's the "bonding with my child" argument. I don't see how breastfeeding a toddler in a restaurant, target, or any other place like that is a great bonding time. Its just not the right time or place.

It is really not easy to explain to someone who never nursed a toddler, but I will try. Imagine your toddler has a "lovey" or "blankie" which she takes everywhere and needs it for comfort. He knows he can get it whenever he wants and that, in itself gives him comfort when he's away from it. Now imagine this toddler at Applebees and she's overstimulated or upset or for whatever reason needs his "lovey" and her mother who is holding the "lovey" refuses to give it to him.

I nursed two children, one into toddlerhood (sometimes in public) and believe me, very few people even noticed.

[chobie]

Originally Posted by sunshinehighway

I see the comments about breastfeeding toddlers being more about in public than at all. Most people don't seem to have an issue with breastfeeding an infant in public. Its when we get to toddlers where the line about public breastfeeding gets blurry for some.

I heard the argument that its about feeding the child. The truth is, at that age there are other options while in certain situations. The whole "my hungry child needs to eat" doesn't fit like it does for an infant.

The soothing/calming argument is flimsy too. There are many ways to do that with children that age. As others have pointed out, you don't just give a toddler food to calm them.

Then there's the "bonding with my child" argument. I don't see how breastfeeding a toddler in a restaurant, target, or any other place like that is a great bonding time. Its just not the right time or place.

It shouldn't be an argument. Women should stop judging women about child raising choices. How many toddlers are breastfed in this country anyway, let alone in public? Is it really that much of an issue? Are you being constantly assaulted by toddler nursing every time you step out your front door?

Or does the publicity from this one story so bother you that there exists the mere possibility it might happen when you are out in public you feel you need to argue point for point against it?

I just don't get why this is an issue that so deeply effects people. You don't want to nurse your toddler? Don't. You get offended the one or two times in your life you might stumble across it? then look away and go on with your life.

There are no studies it is harmful to breastfeed a toddler in public or otherwise, either.

[sunshinehighway]

Originally Posted by chobie

It shouldn't be an argument. Women should stop judging women about child raising choices. How many toddlers are breastfed in this country anyway, let alone in public? Is it really that much of an issue? Are you being constantly assaulted by toddler nursing every time you step out your front door?

Or does the publicity from this one story so bother you that there exists the mere possibility it might happen when you are out in public you feel you need to argue point for point against it?

I just don't get why this is an issue that so deeply effects people. You don't want to nurse your toddler? Don't. You get offended the one or two times in your life you might stumble across it? then look away and go on with your life.

There are no studies it is harmful to breastfeed a toddler in public or otherwise, either.

I don't get the need for media attention and nurse-ins because of isolated events. Why make a big deal out of every little thing? Someone didn't like they were treated in Applebees, big deal. Can you imagine if every person went on Katie and organized sit-ins because they feel they were treated unfairly?

One woman saying she had a problem with breastfeeding in Applebees is hardly widespread discrimination that warrants national attention.

[jessc79]

For those who think it's wrong to nurse a toddler, no biggie. I'll just take solace in the fact that some day my emotionally and physically healthy adult kids will likely employ your maladjusted sickly ones.

See there's actual science to support that statement. It's rude, but at least it's supportable. Unlike your "it's not right" uneducated opinions.

In public or not, it's the right thing to do, medical and psychological evidence support it. Again, thank god the law protects my and my kids rights from the small minded.

[lovemy3girls]

Originally Posted by mhsjax

I am not looking at you, but I refuse to sit there and stare down at my plate. People see other people. A Toddler doesn't need to nurse in a restaurant.

I guess I just don't understand why something so natural and normal could make someone feel so uncomfortable that they would have to stare at their plate. When I am nursing in public, I look up, make eye contact with strangers, and smile at others. Not trying to draw attention to myself, just sitting there being me. And I am a nursing mother. I have never had anyone give me a hard time, weird look, or rude statement. I have had people start up lovely conversation or smile right back.

[mad madam mim78]

Originally Posted by Feckless

A mother has every right to nurse a baby or toddler in public. If you find it offensive, look the other way. As long as people at other tables aren't making a racket, then I never even look at them - I pay attention to the friends and family at my table. I don't understand why this is even an issue.

Yes I'm sure you are. But what about the 15 year old boy sitting across the way who's got a boner. Yes it's natural. It's also a big ole ****ie. You have to know people are oggling you.

[chobie]

Originally Posted by sunshinehighway

I don't get the need for media attention and nurse-ins because of isolated events. Why make a big deal out of every little thing? Someone didn't like they were treated in Applebees, big deal. Can you imagine if every person went on Katie and organized sit-ins because they feel they were treated unfairly?

One woman saying she had a problem with breastfeeding in Applebees is hardly widespread discrimination that warrants national attention.

I agree with that, the woman in question is going overboard. If it happened to me, i would simply not go back, maybe inform the management if the law but leave it at that.

But most of this thread is directed at deriding the choice of women to breastfeed past 365 days. Blanket statements are made that these women are doing for their own needs ( which of course implies bad mommying). Which is no better than the women who deride other women for not breastfeeding and accuse them of bad mommying. It's a choice, there are benefits and negatives to every parenting choices and we women should all back of a bit from attacking each others choices, IMO.

[jessc79]

Originally Posted by mad madam mim78

Yes I'm sure you are. But what about the 15 year old boy sitting across the way who's got a boner. Yes it's natural. It's also a big ole ****ie. You have to know people are oggling you.

What?!? What kind of nursing moms have you seen where that could even be considered sexy!?!?!

I can't control sick people nor should I have to accommodate them.

[mad madam mim78]

Originally Posted by jessc79

What?!? What kind of nursing moms have you seen where that could even be considered sexy!?!?!

I can't control sick people nor should I have to accommodate them.

Oh you're "accommidating" them alright.

[chobie]

Originally Posted by mad madam mim78

Yes I'm sure you are. But what about the 15 year old boy sitting across the way who's got a boner. Yes it's natural. It's also a big ole ****ie. You have to know people are oggling you.

He should have been taught by his mother that breastfeeding is not sexual and to look away. If seeing a baby under a blanket or a shirt nursing turns him on, perhaps therapy would be in order. Is it the **** or the child that turns him on? Because when the baby is eating, you don't see the ****.

[mad madam mim78]

Originally Posted by chobie

He should have been taught by his mother that breastfeeding is not sexual and to look away. If seeing a baby under a blanket or a shirt nursing turns him on, perhaps therapy would be in order. Is it the **** or the child that turns him on?

hahahahahaha i'm sure it's the ****ie.

[lovemy3girls]

Originally Posted by punkin

It is really not easy to explain to someone who never nursed a toddler, but I will try. Imagine your toddler has a "lovey" or "blankie" which she takes everywhere and needs it for comfort. He knows he can get it whenever he wants and that, in itself gives him comfort when he's away from it. Now imagine this toddler at Applebees and she's overstimulated or upset or for whatever reason needs his "lovey" and her mother who is holding the "lovey" refuses to give it to him.

I nursed two children, one into toddlerhood (sometimes in public) and believe me, very few people even noticed.

This is a great explanation. Thank you!

[chobie]

Originally Posted by mad madam mim78

hahahahahaha i'm sure it's the ****ie.

I'm not. I think pedophile in the making,

[sunshinehighway]

Originally Posted by jessc79

For those who think it's wrong to nurse a toddler, no biggie. I'll just take solace in the fact that some day my emotionally and physically healthy adult kids will likely employ your maladjusted sickly ones.

See there's actual science to support that statement. It's rude, but at least it's supportable. Unlike your "it's not right" uneducated opinions.

In public or not, it's the right thing to do, medical and psychological evidence support it. Again, thank god the law protects my and my kids rights from the small minded.

Its not just rude, its a disgusting thing to say.