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Old 10-26-2012, 10:39 PM   #751
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I've been following along with your story, and I'm so happy that you are doing well! You are an inspiration, and such a strong woman. Thanks for continuing to update us.
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:19 AM   #752
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OP, thanks for letting us know you are ok. You & your sweet baby are in my daily thoughts & prayers. You should hold your head high: your DuH handed you lemons & you retrying to make lemonade for your son! This is what great Moms do. Prayers & pixie dust for you, your baby & your support system.

I did find the part of the GF Mom having baby gifts for you really odd. I really am having a hard time wrapping my head around what your DuH did. I did not live it.....I am glad you are getting counseling to help you through. None of this is your doing, but you need to understand what happened because DuH is GOING to be coming back to you begging & pleading for forgiveness, so he can get his life back. He didn't expect consequences, didn't think he was wrong, and is going to regret this yet.

Stay safe and strong for you & your baby. We are all rooting for you!
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:39 AM   #753
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Originally Posted by dsneprincess View Post
OP, thanks for letting us know you are ok. You & your sweet baby are in my daily thoughts & prayers. You should hold your head high: your DuH handed you lemons & you retrying to make lemonade for your son! This is what great Moms do. Prayers & pixie dust for you, your baby & your support system.

I did find the part of the GF Mom having baby gifts for you really odd. I really am having a hard time wrapping my head around what your DuH did. I did not live it.....I am glad you are getting counseling to help you through. None of this is your doing, but you need to understand what happened because DuH is GOING to be coming back to you begging & pleading for forgiveness, so he can get his life back. He didn't expect consequences, didn't think he was wrong, and is going to regret this yet.

Stay safe and strong for you & your baby. We are all rooting for you!
I think the OP and her husband are friends with the GF's mom. I believe the OP said that the GF's parents are not aware of the affair.
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Old 10-27-2012, 08:52 AM   #754
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I've been quietly following this thread since the beginning and I'm rooting for you and your little one. You've received great advice and I just wanted to say that you're an amazingly strong woman and your son will be lucky to have you!

Please keep us updated if you wish to do so.
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Old 10-27-2012, 10:01 AM   #755
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Originally Posted by Andtototoo

He really DID think that everyone was going to give him a ticker tape parade for, well, just being him. He really did. It never occurred to him that there would be negative consequences for his actions. That's the way the narcissist's mind works: If I like it, it's good and everyone will see it's good and congratulate me on my cleverness and my happiness. Because it's all about MEEEEEEEEEE and my wonderfulness.

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This is a perfect description. Absolutely dead on.
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Old 10-27-2012, 02:47 PM   #756
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Originally Posted by torinsmom View Post
I think the OP and her husband are friends with the GF's mom. I believe the OP said that the GF's parents are not aware of the affair.
Yep, the mom is (was?) a friend of the family, that's how DH met this girl. The mom knew me through DH, but not well - she always adored DH and called him the son she never had. Honestly, unless she's an absolute idiot she must know something is going on - I know at one point she had looked through the girls cell phone bill and noticed that she was texting DH hundreds of times a day, because the girl brought it up to DH. I don't know, DH will tell her whatever he tells her.

I have no intention of being sucked back in to DH's drama with this girl - when he brings her up I change the subject or just get off the phone. I don't mind talking to him about how the baby is doing, or about work or something, but there's not much else to say at this point. He apologizes nearly every time we speak for what he did, but it's way too little too late for me. I feel sad for him and the decisions he's made, and there are days when I still feel guilty for leaving, but they are getting less and less, and I think I'm starting to get a little stronger.
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:00 PM   #757
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Sounds like you have a good support system (including all of us here on the DIS). Stay strong and keep us updated on you and your baby
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:04 PM   #758
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You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

You have done the absolute best thing for your baby and you. Neither of you (you or baby) needs to be involved in this drama, and his instability....frankly, he IS unstable if he in any way didn't think that this was going to be a hot mess. I mean, did he seriously think that everyone was going be like "Oh good for you!!! You left your pregnant wife and found a new honey!!!" ????? And the new honey is an unstable teenager???? Please....I'd be keeping my baby as far away from THAT as is humanly possible.

Crazy.....the further away you stay and keep the child, the better off you are. There is no amount of apology or remorse in the world that should make you involve yourself with this man in any way other than what is absolutely necessary and frankly, I am hoping he just sort of disappears from your life without any fanfare, so that NO involvement would be necessary.....
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:14 PM   #759
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You are a bigger person than me, because every time he said he was sorry I'd say, 'no you aren't or you'd not still be with her. You're sorry you didn't get to keep me, too.'
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:26 PM   #760
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Glad your surrounded by family. The love you will have for your little guy will be overwelming. Your DH will have regrets that he lost you and what he had with you. Each day that goes by will make you stronger as a person and the only person that you will have to worry about is that little guy that you will be bringing into the is world!!
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:44 PM   #761
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You know, I have to wonder how the OP's husband would have reacted if she had another guy "on the side" the way he has his girlfriend?

He needs a good swift kick from a real man IMHO.

OP, I am happy you are with your family now, and starting the countdown for your baby's arrival. My first was born December 24, what is your due date?

Take care and hugs...
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Old 10-27-2012, 08:35 PM   #762
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You are a bigger person than me, because every time he said he was sorry I'd say, 'no you aren't or you'd not still be with her. You're sorry you didn't get to keep me, too.'
That is exactly what he's sorry for.

OP, if you had never walked out I'm sure he'd still be stringing you both along. When his girlfriend screamed about you being in the house and called you names, he didn't defend you. How sorry could he be?
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Old 10-27-2012, 08:48 PM   #763
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You should be entitled to maternity and family leave for your pregnancy. If you can afford it, I would take a few months pre and post pregnancy and go home to Canada. It will give you a chance to clear your head and see things in a different perspective. You need to realize that he is never going to change his mind about this baby and being with him may not bring good things into your life at this point. In your condition, with hormones raging, you also won't be able to think straight and will be very emotional.

As for child support, and the fact that he cheated on you, he won't have a choice as to whether or not he "wants" to pay or whether or not he "wanted" the child. It will be his duty to pay child support and maybe even alimony.

Good luck and God bless!
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Old 10-27-2012, 10:04 PM   #764
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Originally Posted by RedSox68 View Post
You should be entitled to maternity and family leave for your pregnancy. If you can afford it, I would take a few months pre and post pregnancy and go home to Canada. It will give you a chance to clear your head and see things in a different perspective. You need to realize that he is never going to change his mind about this baby and being with him may not bring good things into your life at this point. In your condition, with hormones raging, you also won't be able to think straight and will be very emotional.

As for child support, and the fact that he cheated on you, he won't have a choice as to whether or not he "wants" to pay or whether or not he "wanted" the child. It will be his duty to pay child support and maybe even alimony.

Good luck and God bless!
You obviously haven't read the thread. OP did go home to Canada to give birth to the baby and live with her parents. She is an amazingly strong woman who has made some hard decisions but she is doing amazing.
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Old 10-28-2012, 12:14 AM   #765
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Still praying for and rooting for you OP, I can't believe your exH is surprised that everyone doesn't think he's 'husband of the year'!! How deluded can you get?!
So looking forward to your happy birth announcement! (And the news that you don't intend to let that excuse for a man anywhere near your precious son.)
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