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Old 10-26-2012, 10:33 AM   #721
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I just wanted to drop in and let you guys know how we were doing.

Most importantly, baby is doing well. He's measuring right on track, kicking and wiggling around in there. I have a new OBGYN who is absolutely wonderful, I like her a lot, and I've been to visit the new hospital I'll be delivering at. I have a birth class scheduled this week, which my mom is coming to with me. We also went out and bought the stuff we needed for the baby, so the nursery is pretty much ready now. I feel better knowing that we're ready for him whenever he arrives.

I'm still not doing great, but I'm hoping time will make things easier. DH and I are on speaking terms, he's being nice right now but every now and then he gets really upset. I don't think he had any idea I would do this, and he's been left to deal with the fallout. Many of our friends have called to ask what happened, and I've told them - most of them were horrified, and said they would never talk to DH again. His family don't know everything, but they know enough to be devastated as well - at least two people in the family told him never to contact them again, but called me to offer support. I just don't think DH thought people would react this way, and it's making him see just how horrible what he's done was.
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:40 AM   #722
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Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I live in Ontario as well. I can't remember what town you were going to. Keep strong and I am really glad everything is going okay with the baby.
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:43 AM   #723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
I just wanted to drop in and let you guys know how we were doing.

Most importantly, baby is doing well. He's measuring right on track, kicking and wiggling around in there. I have a new OBGYN who is absolutely wonderful, I like her a lot, and I've been to visit the new hospital I'll be delivering at. I have a birth class scheduled this week, which my mom is coming to with me. We also went out and bought the stuff we needed for the baby, so the nursery is pretty much ready now. I feel better knowing that we're ready for him whenever he arrives.

I'm still not doing great, but I'm hoping time will make things easier. DH and I are on speaking terms, he's being nice right now but every now and then he gets really upset. I don't think he had any idea I would do this, and he's been left to deal with the fallout. Many of our friends have called to ask what happened, and I've told them - most of them were horrified, and said they would never talk to DH again. His family don't know everything, but they know enough to be devastated as well - at least two people in the family told him never to contact them again, but called me to offer support. I just don't think DH thought people would react this way, and it's making him see just how horrible what he's done was.
From one Canadian to another, know that your in my thoughts. Sending you a lot of pixie dust.

Im so happy youre on the right track. Glad the baby is doing well. It helps when you have a doctor you actually like.

I think you need some time apart from DH. Meaning, contact should be very minimal. If you get upset whenever you speak to him, that stress cannot be good for the baby. If DH wants to know how you and the baby are doing, he should have thought about that before he made it clear to you that he wanted nothing to do with the baby when you indicated you were prego. Instead, he has an affair with a university student. If he wants updates re: the baby, perhaps your mom or dad can speak with him instead.

I hope youre still seeking therapy.
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:44 AM   #724
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Thanks for the update. I've been worried. So happy that the baby is doing well. So glad your family is there for you to help you through this. Lean on everyone now, so many people are offering their support. Hang in there, you did the right thing!
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:48 AM   #725
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I'm so glad baby is doing well, and even though you don't feel like you are, you are doing great just by being there!!! Safe and away from that lunatic.

Stunned that he really thought this was ok....
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:58 AM   #726
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Originally Posted by goofyintoronto View Post
From one Canadian to another, know that your in my thoughts. Sending you a lot of pixie dust.

Im so happy youre on the right track. Glad the baby is doing well. It helps when you have a doctor you actually like.

I think you need some time apart from DH. Meaning, contact should be very minimal. If you get upset whenever you speak to him, that stress cannot be good for the baby. If DH wants to know how you and the baby are doing, he should have thought about that before he made it clear to you that he wanted nothing to do with the baby when you indicated you were prego. Instead, he has an affair with a university student. If he wants updates re: the baby, perhaps your mom or dad can speak with him instead.

I hope youre still seeking therapy.
I totally agree with the above. You need your strength both emotionally and physically to deal with being pregnant right now and to be a good mom in the coming months and years. Take care of yourself. That means if communicating directly with him upsets you, then don't do it.
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:03 AM   #727
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I am glad baby is doing well! Please take care of yourself and try not to stress. Your baby needs you. It is not an easy process. Thank You for updating.
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:06 AM   #728
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Thanks for the update! Glad to hear you are doing well!
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:12 AM   #729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
I just wanted to drop in and let you guys know how we were doing.

Most importantly, baby is doing well. He's measuring right on track, kicking and wiggling around in there. I have a new OBGYN who is absolutely wonderful, I like her a lot, and I've been to visit the new hospital I'll be delivering at. I have a birth class scheduled this week, which my mom is coming to with me. We also went out and bought the stuff we needed for the baby, so the nursery is pretty much ready now. I feel better knowing that we're ready for him whenever he arrives.

I'm still not doing great, but I'm hoping time will make things easier. DH and I are on speaking terms, he's being nice right now but every now and then he gets really upset. I don't think he had any idea I would do this, and he's been left to deal with the fallout. Many of our friends have called to ask what happened, and I've told them - most of them were horrified, and said they would never talk to DH again. His family don't know everything, but they know enough to be devastated as well - at least two people in the family told him never to contact them again, but called me to offer support. I just don't think DH thought people would react this way, and it's making him see just how horrible what he's done was.
I am glad to see that you and the baby are doing as well as can be expected. Good luck with your new life!

I also wanted to let you know that I witnessed a similar situation with my father and I want to say that you are doing the right thing not only for yourself, but for your son. My mother took my father back in a similar situation and it has had long-lasting effects on both me and my sister, especially my sister. I'd also say his behavior is par for the course with selfish jerks like that:

When I was 19, my father decided to leave my mother to chase after girls my age. He went to bars and hit on my former classmates. Yeah, disgusting. He was SHOCKED, I tell you, SHOCKED that friends and family thought he was a stupid fool and cut him out. (Foolishly, my mother took hiim back after that escapade and when they divorced -- far too late -- 10 years later after he verbally denigrated her for those 10 years, he was SHOCKED yet again. He was shocked she left him and shocked when friends and family thought he was a stupid fool and treated him accordingly.) People like that are so self absorbed and so convinced that if they want to do it ipso facto it's a good thing, they are SHOCKED when reality smacks them in the face. My father spent the rest of his life trying to justify his behavior or when that failed, ignore what he had done. If anyone tried to talk to him about it, he'd deny it or change the subject. Then, when that failed, he tried to tell people that my mother had moved away and when that failed, that she had died.

Which is a long way of saying that your soon-to-be-ex may never really admit to what he's done, so don't expect it.
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:57 AM   #730
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
I just wanted to drop in and let you guys know how we were doing.

Most importantly, baby is doing well. He's measuring right on track, kicking and wiggling around in there. I have a new OBGYN who is absolutely wonderful, I like her a lot, and I've been to visit the new hospital I'll be delivering at. I have a birth class scheduled this week, which my mom is coming to with me. We also went out and bought the stuff we needed for the baby, so the nursery is pretty much ready now. I feel better knowing that we're ready for him whenever he arrives.

I'm still not doing great, but I'm hoping time will make things easier. DH and I are on speaking terms, he's being nice right now but every now and then he gets really upset. I don't think he had any idea I would do this, and he's been left to deal with the fallout. Many of our friends have called to ask what happened, and I've told them - most of them were horrified, and said they would never talk to DH again. His family don't know everything, but they know enough to be devastated as well - at least two people in the family told him never to contact them again, but called me to offer support. I just don't think DH thought people would react this way, and it's making him see just how horrible what he's done was.

Good to hear from you, OP!!!

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Old 10-26-2012, 12:11 PM   #731
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post
I just wanted to drop in and let you guys know how we were doing.

Most importantly, baby is doing well. He's measuring right on track, kicking and wiggling around in there. I have a new OBGYN who is absolutely wonderful, I like her a lot, and I've been to visit the new hospital I'll be delivering at. I have a birth class scheduled this week, which my mom is coming to with me. We also went out and bought the stuff we needed for the baby, so the nursery is pretty much ready now. I feel better knowing that we're ready for him whenever he arrives.

I'm still not doing great, but I'm hoping time will make things easier. DH and I are on speaking terms, he's being nice right now but every now and then he gets really upset. I don't think he had any idea I would do this, and he's been left to deal with the fallout. Many of our friends have called to ask what happened, and I've told them - most of them were horrified, and said they would never talk to DH again. His family don't know everything, but they know enough to be devastated as well - at least two people in the family told him never to contact them again, but called me to offer support. I just don't think DH thought people would react this way, and it's making him see just how horrible what he's done was.
I am delighted to hear that the baby is doing well and you have gotten everything ready for the baby and the nursery. Your mom is great and I am happy she is able to attend the classes with you.

As far as your husband, well I agree with the PP's who said keep contact minimal. Let him speak to your parents if he is "concerned" about how you are. Otherwise, for most issues he should be able to speak to your lawyer, or get one of his own to deal with things.

You need to be shielded from him, for now, as he may feel pressure from family and friends to try to get you back. Let him be with his teen "friend" and he needs to leave you alone. The less stress the better, for you.

Kudos to you, you are a very strong person and you are going to make a fabulous mother!
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:51 PM   #732
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I just wanted to add that I have seen a counselor, twice now with another appointment next week. I'm not great with opening up to people, but she's nice and I think it will help to have someone to talk to.

Talking to DH isn't upsetting me to be honest, it's just odd. He seems so upset that I left, and so hurt that pretty much everyone is horrified at what he did. I don't get it - did he really think people would think this was OK? He's an intelligent guy, how did he not see these reactions coming? I almost feel sorry for him, then I remember that he did these things TO ME and it makes me mad at him again.

My stress levels have certainly gone down just from being away from him and his interactions with this girl. Last he told me, the two of them weren't really speaking but I didn't ask why. I do know she and her family are going to visit California in a few weeks and the mom wants to meet up with him because she has baby gifts for me - so I guess she has no idea what happened. I'm kind of interested to know what he's planning on telling her!
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:00 PM   #733
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So glad your stress is down and you are on your way to making a great life for yourself and baby.

As far as your H goes, reality has begun to crash down on him. His little fantasy land is going up in flames and he will not be able to ignore the reality of the consequences of his actions. Once the truth is out, he will be shunned by anyone who is moral and decent.

You are stronger than he ever thought you were. ...and that should make you feel good!!!

Thanks for the update. Still wishing you the best!
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:29 PM   #734
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OP, you might want to tell him next time he tries to update about his adulterous relatinship with a teenager that you're not even remotely interested in listening to his troubles. he's been nice right now??? Big deal...a little too little and waaayyyy too late.........

If he wants an update about the baby,then update him about the baby. Beyond that, you have nothing to say and certainly sholdn't concern yourself with the storm that he's brought upon himself.

He's shocked that people would react this way? Is he smoking crack? Did he honestly think people were going to be patting him on the back and telling him "Good job for leaving your 7 months pregnant wife for a crazy teenager"?????????? Talk about a fool.......they deserve each other....

Karma baby, karma...here it comes.......
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:30 PM   #735
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Still thinking about you OP!!! Glad to hear your baby boy is doing well!
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