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Old 10-15-2012, 06:18 PM   #616
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Sending hugs out to you, OP!!!

I am in awe of you and how strong you are!!!

I was thinking about how you H has been acting. The selfish, self absorbed, hurtful, cheating, threatening to kill himself, lying, etc. And I have to say, he sounds like a narcissist. If you research this term, you will see how lucky you are to get away from him now!!! You will have saved yourself and your baby from a lifetime of hell.

Also, given that this is an extremely emotion time AND your hormones are working overtime, PLEASE be sure to take care of yourself after the birth. Many women can suffer from postpartum depression. This is more likely given the emotional situation you are in. Then again, it might not happen... I only mention it as something to look out for. If it happens, please see your doctor! There are lots of things that can help.

Thank you for the update. I will keep you in my prayers.

Safe travels,
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Old 10-15-2012, 07:03 PM   #617
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I've been following along and have you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:08 PM   #618
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Sounds like you have a solid plan.....I just hope you're back in Canada sooner rather than later. In the grand scheme of things, the baby clothes/etc is just stuff that can be replaced - your safety needs to be the most important thing here. Nobody wants you to become a statistic....stay safe!

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Old 10-15-2012, 09:10 PM   #619
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Just wanted to add my support and prayers to you OP and your baby.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:49 PM   #620
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Originally Posted by TRK0011 View Post

I've thought about DH being mentally ill, at the very least depressed. I did suggest therapy a few days back, and his response was "no, because the therapist would probably tell me what I'm doing with the two of you was wrong and that I should stop." Ya think? After that response, there's not much I can do. I think right now he thinks he can have both of us - I don't know if he'll end up actually being with her or not after I go, I guess I might not ever find out.

Well you tried. Sounds like he's definitely in a denial stage about being ill.

About the computer - I have a friend who works with computers, and he's one of the few people I've told what's going on. He wrote me a list of things I need to do each time I get off the laptop to clear history and data, so I think I'm OK as far as that goes. I paid for the laptop myself and I'm taking it with me.

I've decided I'll take all the baby clothes - they're so tiny, I think I can take them all - plus all blankets and bedding. I've also decided to take the stroller with me. Sadly, I think I could empty the entire nursery and DH wouldn't know - he hasn't set foot in it since we painted it a couple of months ago.

I'm operating on autopilot right now, doing all the practical things I need to do. I think my next update from Canada might sound slightly more hysterical - every time I think about leaving or being back home, I start to panic, so I'm not thinking about it. My parents have truly been incredible through all this - and of course everyone here has been wonderful.
Have a safe flight for you and baby. We'll be here and eagerly awaiting the next set of news!
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Old 10-15-2012, 11:25 PM   #621
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Bless you, bless you, bless you OP. I truly with all my heart wish you the best of luck.

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Old 10-16-2012, 10:15 AM   #622
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Be careful and stay safe, OP!
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Old 10-16-2012, 10:44 AM   #623
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Another lurker sending prayers and best wishes to you OP. (Not being from the US or Canada I couldn't offer any practical or legal advice...)

I'm never quick to encourage divorce, but on this occasion I'm certain you are making the right decision for you and your son - hang on to that thought if you start to waver.

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Old 10-16-2012, 12:12 PM   #624
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Thinking of you again today...you have the support and prayers of many here and your parents who will take care of you and your baby. Hugs..
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:48 PM   #625
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OP, I hope things are going good for you today. I know you are a ball of nerves right now, worried about the unknown. You have your parents and your Disfamily to lean on.

The most important thing I can tell you is you are doing the right thing. The most important man in your life is the little man you will see in a few short weeks. He is now number one, as you are very aware, and will make all the trouble you are going through totally worth it. We may not know how things will end up, but sometimes we are given a little present to let us know it's going to all be ok. Enjoy your little man and the new life you will have with him.
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Old 10-16-2012, 04:14 PM   #626
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Originally Posted by karriemouse View Post
I'm never quick to encourage divorce, but on this occasion I'm certain you are making the right decision for you and your son - hang on to that thought if you start to waver.
I feel the same way. I always hope people and work things out in a marriage, but in this case there is no question that this is the right decision.

You will feel so much better being at home with your parents. I hope you have a safe trip!
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:04 PM   #627

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Originally Posted by bettymae1121 View Post
Ditto the phone suggestion. If he truely needs to reach you he can do so through your lawyer(s).

Good luck! Oh and on the flight, be sure to get up and walk around, drink water and avoid salt. I know drinking is though since it makes you want to pee every other minute but you need the fluids when traveling. If the seat belt sign is on and you can't get up, do what you can to move and stretch your legs, you do NOT want DVT.

As a maternity nurse, I just wanted to second this. Dehydration can bring on premature labor. And you want to walk around to lessen your chances of blood clots.

Good luck OP. Stay strong & focus on keeping yourself healthy for your sweet baby. Safe travels.
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:27 AM   #628
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Thinking about you! I hope you are now in Canada, in a loving and caring environment.
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Old 10-17-2012, 12:05 PM   #629
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OP, just wanted to let you know your are in my thoughts and prayers...
Safe travels...and I hope you can check in when you are settled to let us know you and little one are safe...
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:56 PM   #630
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Definitely have you on my mind & in my prayers. (((hugs)))
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